Disclaimer : Early Access review - Subject to change as new content is added.
Right. So. The title. It makes about as much sense as the game does. But hell, whatever. There's been more crazy names thrown around in the Steam universe. Let's roll with it. What are we looking at?
Assault Android Cactus, and from this point on I shall merely refer to it as Cactus, is an arena score shooter. Where you pick from a stable of androids, each with their own weapon loadouts and personalities and looks, and then select a level from an ever expanding list and have at it, dealing with wave upon wave of horribleness in the time honoured tradition of Arena Shooters everywhere. With obscene firepower.
On my rig, it runs beautifully, after the first run on a level which for some strange reason it needs a bit of time to shake out the cobwebs it will invariably run at 1920x1080 with all the shiny set to max, and with nary a judder. The movement is slick and the animation is crisp. The effects are bright and the game moves along at a rapid clip, controls are ridiculously simple, you have four keys for movement, you use your mouse to aim, one button to fire, the other to switch between primary and "power" weapons.
And that's it. Kill everything that isn't you.
Thank god, because this is all about instinct, you pretty much are on the move from start to finish, dodging bullets and badguys in a near incessant firestorm of incomming pain and rage in the form of various mechanical and I -think- biomechanical baddies, I didn't get time to admire the scenery too much. Kinda hard when everything is trying to kill you.
The graphics are excellent and the story, what there is at this point is witty and well presented, in the style of some sort of adult teen anime, there seems to have been some kind of robot mutiny, and the androids you control are tasked with restoring order. Each of the androids has a very specific personality, which shows through quite nicely in the boss fights, their expressions and their playstyles. Music and sound effects are also uniformly excellent, with each "area" having a thumping soundtrack that keeps a high tempo and keeps you pretty much immersed in what's going on.
And this is an early alpha.
This review will evolve but bluntly - short of the developers being visited by aliens and having their brains replaced with cottage cheese and pineapple chunks - this should be an easy recommendation, and a big thumbs up from me.