Metal as Phuk is a Mature, Turn-Based, Crude Comedy RPG that has one goal and one goal only: To Make You Laugh! Play as Chael, the last Paladin of the Metal Order, as he embarks on his journey to stop The Dark Bards before they can summon A'Marthius, a MONSTROUS Demon D-Bag!
All Reviews:
Very Positive (154) - 98% of the 154 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date:
Jul 13, 2017

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Buy The Terrible Metal as Phuk Deported Tale of Damned Daniel Chronicles of Quiver Dick Collection Bundle BUNDLE (?)

Includes 6 items: Metal as Phuk, The Chronicles of Quiver Dick, Damned Daniel, Quiver Dick's Terrible Tale For Terrible Parents To Read To Their Equally Terrible Children, Deported: Drain the Swamp, Deported 2: Build That Wall


Recent updates View all (14)

January 12

Deported: Drain the Swamp now available on Google Play!

Hello everyone!

Crankage Games is pleased to announce that we've released Deported: Drain the Swamp on Google Play!
We plan to release Deported 2: Build That Wall very shortly, and then we'll be porting over our other games as well!

Thank you all SO very much for the continued support! You've all been incredibly amazing and we appreciate each and every one of you!

- Crankage Games
0 comments Read more

December 25, 2018

Happy Holidays + We now have a Patreon!

Good news everyone and Happy Holidays to all!

We've been asked for a while now if we'll ever set up a Patreon, and now we've finally got one!

If you'd like to support what we do to ensure we can continue putting out comedy games in the future, then we'd like to support you right back!

  • Want a twitter shoutout for your contribution? Sure.
  • Want to enter Giveaways on twitter? You got it.
  • Want to ask Quiver D!ck a question and have it answered in a custom comic strip posted on Patreon and Twitter, (As well as featured in an upcoming new episode of The Chronicles of Quiver D!ck?) You can ask him ANYTHING you want!

But it doesn't end there! Not only do we have options for all of the above for those who choose to support us going forward, but there's ALSO the potential for your name to be listed in a link RIGHT on the title screen of The Chronicles of Quiver D!ck along with your social media, channel links, or anything else you'd like people to see!

Like I said, you want to support us? Well we want to show you that we appreciate you just as much as you appreciate us!

You can find our Twitter links and Patreon below!

Happy Holidays everyone!

- Crankage Games
0 comments Read more


“Believe me when I tell you this game is unlike ANY OTHER RPG you may have played! And it's available at an INCREDIBLE price! It's LITERALLY a steal for the experience.”

“I have been playing this game for no longer than 31 minutes and I have already looted money from dead people, recruited a stoner, and have been asked to pull an arrow out of a man's dick.”
13/10 – Heathhh

“I played for about 4 hours and didn't realize my girlfriend was home. She sat and watched me play for about 30 minutes and now she's pregnant.”
A+ – Forged in Fluff

About This Game


Sold in over 90+ countries around the world and praised as one of the funniest and most clever RPG's of all time, Metal as Phuk is a Mature, Turn-Based, Crude Comedy that has one goal and one goal only: To Make You Laugh!
Play as Chael, the only surviving Paladin of the Metal Order as he embarks on his journey to stop The Dark Bards before they can summon A'Marthius, a MONSTROUS Demon D-Bag who wants nothing more than to see the world burn! A dark, insidious world full of Epic Metal References awaits you as your party battles their way through Unholy Adversaries, Big Bad Bosses, and Smaller, but -STILL- Bad Bosses! Phuk, the God of Metal watches over you on your journey... but do you have what it takes to be Metal, as Phuk?

This game features:

  • Dozens of Sick-Ass Metal References!
  • Awesome Boss Battles!
  • Turn-Based Combat System with Epic Loot and Leveling!
  • Hilarious Items and Easter Eggs Hidden Throughout the World!
  • Four Kickass Party Members with Four Kickass Classes!
  • 4 Dozen Epic Songs to Headbang to until your BRAIN FALLS OUT OF YOUR $%^&ING SKULL!
    (Crankage Games is not responsible for Cranial Extraction due to excessive headbanging...)
  • Original Storyline! (Well, as original as one can get, I mean, C'mon, Right?!)
  • "Herbs"... !

... And a Phuk-Ton More!

Mature Content Description

The developers describe the content like this:

The mature content in this game contains:

Mature comedy.
Dark humor.
Frequent gratuitous language.
Reference to drug and alcohol use.
Graphic use of text and dialogue to describe scenes of
nudity and sexual content or references.
Offensive and vulgar themes and dialogue.

This game is not what you'd expect. This game will never be what you'd expect. Expect the unexpected, and you still won't expect what this game has to offer.

System Requirements

    • OS: Windows 98/XP/Vista/7/8/10
    • Processor: Intel Pentium III 800 Mhz
    • Memory: 512 MB RAM
    • Graphics: 1024x768 or better video resolution in High Color mode
    • Storage: 575 MB available space
    • Sound Card: DirectSound-compatible sound card

What Curators Say

24 Curators have reviewed this product. Click here to see them.

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