Squirmish is a hilarious turn-based card-battling game for online PVP or solo play. Find your favorite creature cards and battle them against your opponent's beastie brigade. Strange strategies and interactions of the wildly-varying cards create a unique, unpredictable and infinitely-playable game!
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Release Date:
May 14, 2024

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Early Access Game

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Note: This Early Access game is not complete and may or may not change further. If you are not excited to play this game in its current state, then you should wait to see if the game progresses further in development. Learn more

What the developers have to say:

Why Early Access?

“For years, players have had fun at their tabletop playing SQUIRMISH: The Card Game of Brawling Beasties, so we decided to bottle that fun in the form of a videogame we call SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties.

SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is already playable, awfully fun, and completely plaid-pants-nuts... if you like the sorts of things we like, you will already like it. We're just having so much fun making it, we can't resist making it even better. We also want to get feedback from more players to see what they like and loathe about the game, so that input can help us make our game smile and shine like a brand new baby with gas.”

Approximately how long will this game be in Early Access?

“"As long as a piece of string." - Betty Ross, High School English Teacher

It should be around six months with the wind at our backs... but it could run a little longer.”

How is the full version planned to differ from the Early Access version?

“Some additional features we plan be adding before the final release:
  • Further evolution of PvP: Matchmaking to discover the best PvP formats and revise skill tracking.
  • New cards beyond the standard 70! -- maybe as DLC card packs.
  • Improved, harder-to-beat cyber-brain-smartses for single-player opponents.
  • Further refinement of alternative play formats (possibly including a draft format).
  • Squash any bugs that we have not found yet into slimy green paste.
  • Grow the community to a large enough size to reliably support PVP.
  • Additions and improvemeents to visual and audio effects. (Thankfully, we are not pursuing olefactory effects at this time.)
  • Even more funny!

What is the current state of the Early Access version?

“The game is ready for rumbling, with solo matches and 2-player online PvP already fully-functional. All 70 cards featured in the original printed card game are included. You can currently play against 10 different ridiculous opponents with varying levels of brain. A variety of controls are supported to suit your particular preferences. An interactive tutorial gets you up-to-speed and ready-to-bleed quickly. The game plays nicely on SteamDeck.

The basics of the game are simple, but the wild variety of the card abilities keep the games fresh and interesting for many hundreds of hours... far longer than an unrefrigerated head of cabbage.”

Will the game be priced differently during and after Early Access?

“The early access version is being offered at a small discount from the final release price to reward early adopters for being awesome and cool and Fonz-like.”

How are you planning on involving the Community in your development process?

“We are really itching to hear what y'all think of our crazy game (at first we thought we had the hives). We want to hear what you think about what we've built and to get your input on where you would like to see us to take it, whether it be over the moon or for a long walk on a short pier. We have created a Discord Server for our users to share their experiences, thoughts, fan art, wit and thoughtful and moving (but also somewhat unsettling) poetry about their time spent as a stowaway aboard a clipper ship.”
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About This Game

Enter the Squirmish, a ridiculous rumble where card creatures clash and only the strangest survive! Draft an odd squad of warriors, with names like Kittyclops, Pompaduck and Killgor the Conqueror. Each card has its own preposterous powers, so you'll need strategy -and a bit of luck -to survive! Knock out the competition and become the beastie boss!

Based on the hilarious, critically-acclaimed card-battling game. Battle bizarre and ridiculous cards in both single-player and online PVP multiplayer modes. Rumble against a horde of odd opponents created just for the videogame, such as Tutufly, Picklepuss and Beatknock. Easy to learn how to play... but with wild and varied strategies to keep play interesting for up to 92 years, 163 days, 8 hours and 22 minutes!

System Requirements

    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10 or Windows 11
    • Processor: 2.0 Ghz
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Network: Broadband Internet connection
    • Storage: 1 GB available space
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10 or Windows 11
    • Processor: 2.5 Ghz
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Network: Broadband Internet connection
    • Storage: 1 GB available space

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