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BINARY CRINGEVESTOR
A binary options parody with a Balatro aftertaste. Take a loan, hit UP or DOWN, and 30 seconds later you’re either rich or pawning your wife’s wedding rings. 12 broker decks, 31 passives with editions, manager Billy, collectors and four weeks of payments. Just like real life, only fun.

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Features
Languages:
Interface Full Audio Subtitles
English ✔
Russian ✔

Early Access Game

Get instant access and start playing; get involved with this game as it develops.

Note: Games in Early Access are not complete and may or may not change further. If you are not excited to play this game in its current state, then you should wait to see if the game progresses further in development. Learn more

What the developers have to say:

Why Early Access?

“Early Access should help the project grow in the right direction. On my own, it’s hard to feel every nuance of the bosses, the perks and the different builds, simply because I’m one person. I want to understand how many people enjoy a project like this and which way it should grow and develop.”

Approximately how long will this game be in Early Access?

“I plan to release the full version by Q2 2027.”

How is the full version planned to differ from the Early Access version?

“The full version will have far more brokers, perks, assets and plenty more besides. There’ll be a bit of a rhythm game, new characters and all kinds of cringe. In short, if you enjoy this game in Early Access, you’ll love it at release!”

What is the current state of the Early Access version?

“12 brokers are in, each with its own starting set of features, plus plenty of perks and consumables. The overall direction and the core idea of the game are in place. I’m also planning to add more languages for the full version!”

Will the game be priced differently during and after Early Access?

“Yes, the price will go up with every major update. Right now is literally the best price to get in on the project (if it’s your kind of thing, of course).”

How are you planning on involving the Community in your development process?

“It’s simple: through the Community Hub you can send me any thoughts, wishes, bugs, anything at all. I’ll be answering everyone who’s interested on a regular basis!”
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About This Game

BINARY CRINGEVESTOR is a binary options terminal where you can’t make money, but you can very easily lose everything. Your personal manager Billy has already wired you a $1000 loan. In a week you have to pay back more. There’s a payment every evening. Go trade.

How it works

Pick an asset, an expiry from 5 to 120 seconds and a stake. Hit UP or DOWN. Guess right and your stake comes back with a payout. Guess wrong and it’s gone. That’s it. There’s nothing else to binary options, and that’s the whole game.

There are five assets, and they unlock as the run goes on: USD/M’ERICA, DUMBCOIN, SHIT/PISS, DNCCN and SALARY/BEER. Each one has its own chart temper: one crawls, one jumps around, one just sits there dead and twitches the moment you have three trades open.

The week

Seven trading days: 30, 45, 60, 75, 90, 105 and 120 seconds of trading. In the evening the broker takes a payment. Short on cash? Pawn something from home: the second monitor, the coffee machine, the gaming laptop, the car, Granny’s china, the console, your wife’s phone, the wedding rings. Sold the rings? Your wife will remember that.

Close day seven and the banker offers a new loan, a bigger one. Survive four weeks in a row and the run is won. Nothing to pay with and nothing left to pawn? The collectors are at the door.

The Market

Between days the Market opens, and this is where Balatro kicks in. 31 passives: TRBO pays more on short trades, HODL on long ones, ALLIN when you bet everything, MRTG after a losing streak, DEVIL for only ever going up. Mom, Dad and the Godfather let you hold more trades at once. Passives come in foil, holo and poly editions, and those multiply your payouts many times over.

Sixteen consumables: Uncle’s insider tip shows you the future for three seconds, Granny sends a signal, OCTOPUS opens one trade at eight entry points, FLIP turns a losing trade around, X2BOOST, leverage, insurance, the “Trading in 3 Days” course. A gacha chest that costs more every time. Flowers for the wife, always in stock, and you’ll find out why.

Prices go up every day, and everything is bought from the same account you pay the loan from.

Home

Your wife has three hearts of patience. Pawned something: minus a heart. Took her stash: minus a heart. At zero she leaves for her mom’s and takes everything still left in the house. The banker comes with a new loan, the collectors come for the old one. Billy texts at the worst possible moment and offers VIP signals from a Telegram channel with an accuracy we’d rather not disclose.

Brokers

Twelve broker decks, each with its own rules. FOOLTRADE is the base. JOKERTRADE: wins pay x3, but a loss takes the stake twice and your account goes negative. PYRAMIDTRADE: win streaks and losing streaks multiply the same way. BANK OF SEALAND: a $3000 loan, but no wife and nobody to bail you out. RHYTMTRADE: a $100 loan and nothing but dancing. The rest unlock as you play.

This game won’t teach you how to trade binary options. It will teach you not to.

The game draws inspiration from titles such as: Balatro, Clover Pit, Gambonanza, Insider Trading

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • OS: Win 10+
    • Processor: Some simple is enought
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integral
    • Storage: 80 MB available space
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What Curators Say

6 Curators have reviewed this product. Click here to see them.