explore a deep and endless ocean instead of fighting your enemies. a 5 mile plus world awaits. have you ever? You know what I've always wondered about porcupine sex. They have all those quills and poison. It just seems dangerous to me and yet ive never heard of any

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About This Game

Life’s a Beach is a comedic sandbox adventure where you and a friend can explore a giant map, trigger bizarre in-engine story sequences, and laugh together on the couch—fast, chaotic, and endlessly silly. The game contains 11 achievements, 7 challenge sections filled with personality, wall running, and speed, and a 2-player mode that takes place on a single screen. Get your copy today!

updates

december 16th introduced race events that use a new mode that increases acceleration at the expense of top speed and increases sensation of speed significantly. it also included the ability to travel to texas to see the metrorail and see a giant chilidog as well as additional comedy bits and movie sequences.

june 26th now runs flawlessly on android 11 x8664 bit with gamenative. performance is amazing and controls can be amazing if you follow the guide at the bottom of the store page.

please wait for the life's a beach logo to display before closing the window that launches the game. yes that bat file also launches a java chatbot that the completionist update will eventually use. for the moment the chatbot just allows you to chat with the chatbot by pressing tilde or j. if using tilde then you need to write say before what you write. if using j you don't have to do that.

notes are continued at the bottom of the store page

this game receives yearly updates. this year the yearly update should add 2 hours worth of content. this is the completionist update.

*these will not be added as achievements on steam but will be added to your save file.


On Linux, requires Proton 7.0.6
Contains a third-party EULA compact between users, players, and developers of Unreal Development Kit 3 games.
Not designed for Windows 7 Service Pack 2, but it can run on it. See the Windows 7 obsolescence section at the end.
Troubleshooting can be found in the developer help section before the Windows 7 obsolescence section.

Have you ever wanted to explore a deep and endless ocean instead of fighting your enemies? Have you ever? You know what I've always wondered about porcupine sex. They have all those quills and poison. It just seems dangerous to me and yet I've never heard of any porcupines dying from sex in the span of human history. It's just something we never really think about.

Multiplayer: Say no to splitscreen! All multiplayer happens on the same screen, on the same TV locally—you don’t need two TVs or internet.

Explore a massive UDK 3 map: The world is larger than a typical UDK 3 map—about 5 miles—and full of surprises. Along the way, you’ll uncover quirky in-game movie sequences, including a hilarious take on porcupine sex and another on abortion. the rest of the jokes take place within their own themed challenge area that loads nearly instantly and seamlessly allowing you to explore the world at your leisure.

Achievements:

  • One for watching the porcupine sex sequence

  • One for watching the abortion and eggs sequence

  • Explore the world

  • Discovered Challenge 1: Some things truly can't be explained

  • One step at a time: Discover the secret of dark humor

  • Or what we call a pyramid scheme: Discover the stock scheme

  • What, it is: Discover scientific method

  • But I want government: Defeat supreme leader bear

  • More French fries: Discover the history of potatoes

  • Don’t cry: Survive the river that drowned the world

  • Where’s Ferris: Discover the secret area

    Added as of 12/16/25:

    • Time Travel — Buy a soda

    • 76 — Discover the number of the millennium

Fast, seamless gameplay: Load times in challenges are only ~1.5 seconds, and you can move across the map so quickly you’ll sometimes hover over the ground. 

Fun with friends: Drop objects to attack each other, explore the world together, or activate the in-engine movie sequences. Everything is designed to be enjoyed on a single screen—perfect for couch co-op.

Steam Deck compatible: Works with Proton 7.0.6; 720p and 1080p tested. FOV adjusts automatically depending on resolution. For best results, 4K is recommended.

Ways to Play: Share one keyboard, with Player 1 controlling the camera. Use two keyboards and a mouse, or two keyboards and two mice. Play via Parsec or Steam Remote Play Together (if using Steam Deck at 720p, the highest-resolution screen should be host)

Extras: Fly faster than Sonic, discover hidden comedy bits, trigger a solar eclipse, and explore the largest possible UDK 3 map—all for just $3.

Windows 7 support: DRM-free and playable on Windows 7 Service Pack 2 64-bit even after Steam support ends.

Controls (local & multiplayer):

  • Player 1: WASD to move, Z mine /X/C vertical/horizontal shooting, Space jump, R teleport to Player 2, mouse to move camera

  • Player 2: Arrow keys, K mine /I/O vertical/horizontal shooting, Comma teleport to Player 1 / activate sequences, Right Ctrl jump

  • Camera: Period/Slash to rotate view for either player

  • Stop Moving while in the air to land.

  • chatbot controls

  • j in the first map can allow you to talk to the chatbot with a big textbox without having to type say first. works great on computer. cumbersome on android but does work.

  • p resets the index of the chatbot reply. if the robot doesn't respond you can try this.

  • tilde can view previous messages you can talk to the chatbot by typing say before you talk to it works in any part of the game typing say hello or hello if you press j can unglitch the chatbot if it gets stuck. this doesn't slow down the game. in fact we removed logs so now the game runs faster than it did before.

  • new esc menu

  • pressing esc on windows can pull up a neat flash exit menu. very lean only about 1kb. future maps will include it automatically. previous maps still use m to exit game.

multiplayer compatibility ps2

  • Works best on a single screen or TV

  • Smaller screens (like Steam Deck) may work at 720p if both players are using a small screen

  • Multiplayer at 720p and below is untested

devlog we did it ps3

  • The game has now been approved for release on Steam. We've essentially completed the work on the game. There is 2 minutes 30 seconds of in-engine movie sequences added, each with its own challenge gameplay section that really adds to the comedy of the movie sequence. They're really great.

  • Tomorrow we’ll be connecting all the movie sequences together back to the game world. In order to spawn you in the right place for the 7 challenge movie sequence game sections, you need to spawn around where you are in the game world when the section ends. But until all the movie sequences are done, some of the links wouldn’t have all of the game world on them since they weren’t made yet.

  • With the game complete, those can now be added. We also need to add the additional achievements for all those movie sequences, which is trivial. There are also some surprisingly simple things I need to do, but I already know how to do them. There isn’t any thinking involved for it per se, but it will be tedious to implement.

  • The game is a fun showcase of 2 minutes 30 seconds worth of entertaining in-engine movie sequences:

  • There is a multiplayer component where you and a friend can explore the world, possibly activate some of the movie sequences, and attack each other.

  • The world is the largest size possible for a UDK 3 map. The world is mostly empty, but you can move across it quite effortlessly so fast that you'll often hover over the ground.

  • The multiplayer should provide some fun. It's designed to easily be played on one screen with one keyboard in local multiplayer. You could of course use two keyboards if you want to, but this mainly works because Windows treats two keyboards as if they’re the same as 1 keyboard.

  • If using Parsec or Remote Play Together, you can play with friends easily with them using their keyboard over the internet, which controls the host over the internet.

  • One of the frustrations with the movie sequences made for "Life in World," which is the game we first made the map for: the map was too large. It was difficult and frustrating to set up port forwarding and it was difficult to find people on the huge map. This is solved in "Life's a Beach" mainly out of necessity.

  • This is mainly for people reviewing the game, but a new section has been added with a red ocean texture. This leads to a movie sequence about me talking about bleeding from going to the dentist a couple of years ago.

  • There is an AI you can avoid that looks similar to the Demon Tide Heartless in Kingdom Hearts 3. It's basically just a bunny firing bottles, but it hovers characteristically like Demon Tide in KH3 as it fires bottles — similar to Demon Tide in Kingdom Hearts 3. It must be a characteristic of the random behavior in Unreal Engine.

  • Game has 2 minutes 30 seconds worth of movie sequences, a large map, and a working multiplayer component that takes place on one screen. Comma teleports Player 1 to Player 2. R teleports Player 2 to Player 1. The game should be worth 3 dollars.

Steam Deck settings

  • 7 720p windowed: this setting is only for Steam Deck. This setting causes glitches when used in Windows OS. Useful for using utilities like my utility Process Linux for Steam Deck. Process Linux for Steam Deck can be found in community hub discussions warning about Steam Deck support.

  • 8 720p fullscreen windowed: this setting is only for Steam Deck. This setting causes glitches when used in Windows OS.

  • The multiplayer part of this game is 2-player only.

technical features

  • With in-engine movie sequences and 2 in-engine sequences without them. Load times at best and at worst are about 1.5 seconds loading in a challenge area, but loading between them is seamless. To make them instantaneous, try visiting the community discussion on hypercompression in "Life's a Beach."

  • There is a two-player mode that takes place on one screen. Works great over Parsec and Steam Remote Play. The challenge areas are incredibly fun. It took about a day to link them to the rest of the world. If I ever add a swath of new content to the game, I'm taking 3 days to link the new content to the rest of the world — it's seriously tedious.

  • But anyway, there's a ton to explore, and with friends, enjoy the game.

Summary switch

  • In order for Player 2 to activate movie sequences, they have to teleport you to their location when they are near one of the people that does the comedy bits.

  • Reaching the end of the map gives you an achievement. Listening to all 11 comedy bits and completing the 7 themed areas that unlock them in full and reaching the end of the map is currently the extent of the achievements.

  • The idea is to explore the map, but a friend can also follow on the same screen in local multiplayer, meaning no internet connection is required to play together. With Steam Remote Play Together, you can play with a friend over the internet. You can also use other software as well to do the same thing.

  • We chose to use Remote Play Together because of its support for Steam Deck. Essentially, you can drop objects on the ground that eliminate the other player’s health. They also cause you to move to the other player’s position. Those items have different collision ranges than the things you attack people with that move.

  • The map is large, and the movie sequences are entertaining and can be explored with a friend. With the amount of content in the game, we are selling the game for 3 dollars.

  • You can see a solar eclipse by activating a switch in the game.

  • Play local multiplayer on the same screen as friends on the same TV.

  • You can place things on the screen that kill instantly, or you can fire both horizontal and vertical objects.

  • There are 10 in-engine sequences that can be discovered:

    • One about porcupine sex

    • The other about abortion

  • The games default price is 3 dollars at the moment. we try to have as many sales as possible but this relies on us getting accepted into the many themed sales on steam.

  • were a small developer with no advertising which affects visibility which affects sales which affects visibility which affects sales which means we may not be able to participate in sales which could improve our visibility on steam. weve tried to enter one so far. as the reason I created a steam account was to buy things during the black friday sale when I was a kid. we should always be available during the steam winter sale. 

  • If you play with friends, it may be worthwhile. The in-engine sequences are funny and well-animated, and there’s always a massive world to move across.

  • The two movie sequences are triggered by moving close to a person on the map. There is an achievement for each movie sequence and a third achievement for reaching the end of the map.

  • The game was originally based on Unreal Tournament 3, but those assets have now been removed.

  • You can now fly at ungodly speed across the map faster than Sonic. You can also discover the secret of porcupine sex with friends and explore a huge map, all on a single screen.

developer help vita

Steam Deck compatibility:

  • Game only works on Proton 7.0.6

  • If the game takes more than 30 seconds to boot, verify integrity of game files. The launching game message should take less time on Steam Deck. You may want to do this after every game update. Not sure why it happens — may be the Steam runtime.

Steam Windows 7 obsolescence

  • The game is designed with Windows 10 and 11 in mind. However, the game is DRM-free and does work on Windows 7 Service Pack 2 64-bit.

  • When Steam stops working on Windows 7, this game will still be launchable from the Steamapps folder without launching Steam, so you’ll always be able to play it.

  • Although the game is not designed around 32-bit, it makes extensive use of memory. The game can possibly be played in 32-bit — just go to binaries/32bit/udk to give it a go. 32-bit is not officially supported.

  • The game can be played with 1 or 2 players. Both players play on the same screen. The FOV is adjusted depending on resolution.

  • You don’t have to spawn your 2nd player into the game. The 2nd player spawns next to Player 1 immediately when the game starts. This uses up no resources.

  • If for some reason you start playing as Player 1 but want Player 2 to join you, you can press R to teleport Player 2 to Player 1, or Comma to teleport yourself back to Player 2.

  • The game takes place on a single screen and can be played on a single TV. 4K is recommended for multiplayer. Even 8K is, but it has not been tested. In theory, it should be a great experience.

  • When playing on an 8K screen, tilt the view forward so you can’t see behind you. This gives you full advantage of the fantastic field of view used for 8K.

  • M exits the game, mainly used as a safeguard in case someone uses the Steam Deck BAT on Windows.

Setting up the game on android with gamenative

additional notes: there are pictures of this guide under our news article for this game called Game is 71 cents for the steam summer sale and better than ever. you may have to search for it if searching for the article after 6/26/26. 

notes: there is a bug on android where challenge sections load from ram when restarted due to running out of time. this causes them to load before the assets actually exist. game runs very fast. porcupine sex in engine movie sequence runs great as well as the texas area. future areas will use the new faster loading maps so it won't be an issue but we plan on giving the android version unlimited time in the future when launched from an android bat. the settings below were tested with a 4gb ram phone with a mali gpu. the settings below also work well with brutal legend.

the good news the game can now be played on android and here are the settings. it's very impressive a game as advanced as life's a beach is running on a 4gb mali gpu and it shows. race conditions involving the chatbots decryption protocol abound due to the android phone's slow speed. it's recommended to have wifi off and possibly even be plugged in to save on cpu cycles.

it also helps to not do anything until the chatbot finishes loading. it won't affect the game but the chatbot may not load if it's interrupted by the game. you also should not use smart ram or other page file increasing methods for android with this app. although if your phone does have a smart ram feature with 4gb of ram. that is the type of phone that should work. you want a 64 bit phone with at least 4gb of ram that is still a pretty good phone just perplexingly with only 4gb of ram.

anyway here are the settings

container variant bionic

wine version proton-11.0.1-x86_64-1

screen size 1280x720

audio driver pulse audio

steam type ultra light

suspend behavior: suspend until resume

graphics driver: wrapper

graphics driver version: system

dx wrapper dxvk

dxvk version async-1.10.3

use adrenotools turnip on

max device memory 0

emulation box 64 0.40

profile custom performance for box64 you can find this in the box64 preset settings for gamenative

keep all settings the same but set box64_dynarec_strongmem to 2

save the change whenever you save a change to a preset it puts it under a new profile under the number of times youve changed it so if this is your first time changing performance than

select performance(1)

shooter mode on

renderer nvidia geforce gtx 480

rendering mode fbo

video memory size 2048 mb

enable csmt on

enable strict shader math on

these are the settings that essentially allow the game to work the game can not launch unless these settings are set exactly

direct3d native

directsound native

directmusic built in

directshow built in

directplay built in

visual c++ 2010 native

windows media decoder native

opengl native

environment

mesa_glthread on

dxvk_frame_rate 60 this most be set to 60.

vkd3d_shader_model may not be used but the program expects 6_0 does not run with vkd3d

in the bat files for android there are two options vertdisabled vertenabled vertdisabled disables up and down on the analog stick because it's easy to accidentally move up or down accidentally while moving left and right on android pubg makes it work but whatever. vert_enabled removes this restriction but the game really should have the up and down part of the analog stick disabled in settings and another stick added with the stick parameter with a seperate right thumb up and right thumb down set at 0.72 size in settings. the game should also use w s a d instead of the left analog stick. it works well enough on steam deck but it doesn't work on android and it's not the proper configuration anyway.

asundry notes: why the game is the way it is and neat android plans.

if on android the chatbot is one of the neat things you can do in between exploring the map. on android you can only load 2 maps every 65 seconds or so. technically on android you can load 4 if you include the starting map but the starting map on android uses significantly less memory.  basically it's fine to close the chatbot application if you don't want to use it.

but again if you close the bat that launches the game well it won't launch. this started with the fact that we don't use mipmaps or level of detail so we use custom settings for each resolution that are triggered by the bats but it's also because we use Win64 for udk3 which is not officially supported but it's incredibly future proof for that engine. we also do use powershell.

it was originally used only to write the value of whether you were using maps that used baked lighting or maps that use dynamic lighting. baked lighting is only used if you select play 480p and not 480p hq or essentially all other resolutions use the higher quality dynamic lighting. 

the challenge sections and texas area do not use the baked lighting because when people originally purchased the game. that was not how the game was designed but going forward you can load the newer content using baked lighting if you select 480p if that's what you want to do. this is especially helpful on android and is the default for android. a 4gb mali phone can run the game with box64 0.40 with proton 11 x8664.

were planning on increasing the games timers to around 69 seconds to prevent race conditions caused by not clearing memory which becomes an issue in android. on 4gb of memory in windows it's not an issue. life's a beach uses less memory than powerpoint web version does on my n150 in windows 11 so most computers shouldn't run into the same issues as android. you should still follow the tips in the compatibility list if on the minimum spec. also planning on using restart level for when timers expire instead of our native map loading implementation. it was to test if it broke things and eventually it did just only on android. 

AI Generated Content Disclosure

The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this:

Use tilde or j to talk to the chatbot tilde is the console which requires typing say before what you write and j shows a large dialog box with large text.

the robot contains 72243 patterns. if it loads slightly less than that it should be fine. the reason it may load less is because there is a watchdog used to prevent people from copying the decrypted source code text files that are essentially what the robot uses to respond. on android waiting for the chatbot to fully load its files into memory before interacting with life's a beach seems to work best when wanting to talk to the robot. i've really enjoyed talking to the robot privately when I leave the house and go somewhere. android pc emulation is really impressive.

im not entirely sure if the robot can process text from non latin character languages english spanish french etc. it may be able to though. even so it will only respond in english. there is an exception to this. if you say your text then add en espanol. the robot will respond with a general response in spanish.

when doing this it won't have access to the wikipedia responses or most information that was added to the robot. the spanish part of the bot was added before chatgpt ever existed.

contains an aiml 2.0 chatbot called brian that generates unique sentences using a dictionary of words and can rarely use an offline wikipedia database to generate sentences.

although udk 3 asks for a firewall exception this is because of achievements and other built in udk 3 features that were difficult to remove.

you access the chatbot completely offline. it loves using ambiguity and in an ordinary dictionary there are words like aborted which can mean cancelled or aborted. the robot as ive run it on my computer loves ambiguity. but the code is determined entirely by the hardware so your robot may work differently than mine.

the robot essentially has no safeguards except it can only generate two sentences and the sentences are random except for sentence structure. the safeguard essentially is it doesn't have swear words or self harm words in it's dictionary and doesn't have wikipedia pages on harmful topics but even if they did they come from wikipedia.

the robot takes words from the first two sentences in a wikipedia article and generates it's own sentence with them or doesn't use them at all although that is unusual. the only time the robot can swear is when asking about hitler when asked about hitler the robot has the option of calling hitler a swear word.

there is a neat optional feature.

by default the robot only remembers your name between launches of the chatbot when you say my name is. by default he thinks your name is brian. you can allow it to remember more personal information by copying predicates.txt from the life's a beach directory where the bat files are to bots/brian/config.

doing this will allow it to permanently save things like why it likesyou when it decides to do that or whyithatesyou when it decides to do that. these predicates can be updated but now it's possible for it tell you why it likesyou from a previous session.

it also allows the robot to grab sentences it likes from your conversation and save them up to 5. these things happen rarely however so you may never see these things modified within predicates.

at least my computer never wants to say the sentences that trigger the sentences to save.

the robot is completely offline. in fact on android you can infact copy everything within the life's a beach folder to C:/a it doesn't have to have the directory name life's a beach. you can also access the game completely offline without internet when using gamenative and in fact while using a computer. you can do the exact same thing on steam. however if not launched through steam through the life's a beach directory you will not be able to get achievements as the game will be recognized as the game that inspired this one life in world which was basically the porcupine sex in engine movie sequence the eggs abortion in engine movie sequence the game world as it is now without the challenge areas except it included the sample map that came with udk 3 ie life in world.

the idea being the surrounding map was peaceful while the unreal tournament 3 map was chaotic.

I guess the original idea was animal crossing but your the meme dog that says everything is fine while everything is on fire. but not literally that dog but you get the idea.

Mature Content Description

The developers describe the content like this:

makes a joke about porcupine sex. makes a joke about eggs the food and abortion. it contains a joke about bleeding at the dentist.

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10 Windows 11 recommended for 11th gen processors and newer
    • Processor: see bat concerns on how to remove the line that starts the java chatbot.works out of the box i3-1115G4 processor new minimum spec is an intel n150 although it will run fine on a n4020 the java chatbot runs on it's own thread so if you want to talk to it which you don't have to multicore is beneficial although 4 cores is the max that would be beneficial for this game. with this processor and an ssd expect 2.5 second load times tested with windows 11 where youd have to follow steps under additional notes to play intel celeron n4500 tested without the chatbot running chatbot adds about 200mb of ram usage approximately with windows 10 expect poor performance at the minimum spec multiplayer has not been tested on the minimum spec 64 bit processor recommended processor should be running from 2.6 to 2.8 ghz constantly and should be a processor from 2021 m2 nvme drive with a 24000 minimum 24000 gigabyte maximum required at this spec this can be found on a asus laptop br1100ck. preferably the m2 drive is not the same drive that windows is installed to use 32 bit open the binaries folder and go to 32 bit then click on Udk
    • Graphics: intel celeron 2021 uhd graphics check your celeron processor release date by typing it into google.
    • DirectX: Version 11
    • Storage: 27 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: expect 4 second load times 100 percent minimum 100 percent maximum processor state while plugged in it is theoretically possible with an ssd or ufs drive to get 2 second load times with real time protection turned off with a 24000 minimum 24000 maximum page file 4 - 6 second load times otherwise on a n4020.page file minimum 24000 maximum 24000 see steam discussions page file with a 1.78gb download for the game logs may increase this. process lasso required settings based on a n4500 celeron udk cpu priority above normal process watchdog udk.exe if above 80 percent set io priority to low if below 75 percent cpu set io priority to high. under options general set the refresh interval of the governor and of the gui to 2 seconds. set cpu priority of process lasso to always idle. set cpu priority of process governor to below normal set cpu affinity of process governor to use only cpu 0. these optimizations to process lasso reduce the amount of cpu overhead that process lasso has which is neededfor this cpu. if using an n4500 celeron. asus laptop br1100ck required. C drive eemc page file required 750 megabytes. this is a low performance drive. maximum throughput can be achieved by using a smaller page file. mileage may vary D drive nvme drive set page file to 24 gigabytes. page files are static for example minimum 750 maximum 750 minimum 24000 maximum 24000 resolution required 640 x 480 th folder unfortunately because the game makes use of bats and has dependencies this game may not work well on linux which sucks. to run the game on steam download throttlestop make sure to turn it on. the icon on in taskbar will be red if its on. set the following settings click on the c1 button set package c state locked to c1 set c1 undemotion to on set c3 demotion to on set pkg undemotion to on turn c1e off do not turn speed shift on as this can cause instability and crashes. in throttlestop click tpl make sure under power limit controls disable controls is not used then disable the short power limit it can cause the cpu to go over its power limit and this causes the cpu to throttle. make sure the short power limit is not used and that the turbo time limit slider is set all the way to the right. then make sure to use sync mimo. the settings for setting long power limit and sync mimo need to be reapplied everytime you start up
    Recommended:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10 Windows 11 recommended for 11th gen processors and newer
    • Processor: intel 8750h 64 bit processor recommended to use 32 bit mode instead copy the bat file youd like to use then change the part of the bat that says Win64 to Win32
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: intel uhd graphics 630
    • DirectX: Version 11
    • Storage: 11 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: it is theoretically possible with process lasso realtime cpu priority and io priority low to get .984 second loading of the challenge areas on a fast computer. tested on a 8000 minimum 8000 maximum page file. the game is currently 2 gigabytes. logs are currently disabled and this increases performance moderately enough to actually make up for the inclusion of the java chatbot.on modern hardware game runs very well with a 62 fps framerate that can be adjusted in settings.

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