When I go to my exercise class in the evening sometimes the matter of what I do for a living comes up in pre-class chat. Usually I can be like, “This is a credible grown-up profession. I absolutely pinky swear this to be true!” The last few days I have spent 30 hours corralling adorable bouncing blobs and selling their poop on the stock market or funnelling it into science. Maybe I’ll pretend I’ve lost my voice at class this evening. But Slime Rancher [official site] is so cute I also want to tell everyone about it! Here’s Wot I Think… (more…)

The makers of card game monster-battler Duelyst [official site] recently got into bed with publishers Bandai Namco. But now the problems of this transfer of power are rearing their heads and, oh no, they UGLY. The most noticeable issue is that some players from Russia and other non-US countries have found themselves locked out of the game. A game they ve spent a huge amount of time and money on. And it appears this is part of a larger shutting down operation. (more…)

Nothing really matters in Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles [official site]. Shipwrecked on an island that has been infested with some sort of sinister cloudy muck, known as the Murk, you might think it’s imperative that you clear up the unpleasantness so that people can return to the homes they once inhabited. Everywhere you look there are ruined homes but the islanders don’t fuss about them; they’ve got villages and farms and guilds, and they seem perfectly happy.

In fact, everyone in Yonder seems happy and the more I play, the more radical that design choice seems.

(more…)

The creator of fine timetrial FPS Lovely Planet has returned to that Lovely land with a new game, this time going platforming in Super Lovely Planet [official site]. It’s a 3D platformer starring a ball which intends to reach the end of each level. To do this, it’ll need to jump over gaps, weave past spikes, dodge shots, and so on – platformer stuff. But the original Lovely Planet was great because it streamlined the FPS while whacking in leaderboards, and this looks to do the same with platforming. (more…)

I’m hanging from a hook, struggling and kicking as the claws of a dark cosmic entity close around my skull. Not by choice, you understand. The bastard thing that placed me here is nearby, pleased with the sacrifice but also hoping to use me as bait. To my horror, the plan works and I see someone approaching, inching forward through a cornfield, trying to stay hidden. She’s going to get herself killed and I guess I’ll be adding survivor’s guilt to my list of ailments.

Stay away! I want to yell, but my voice has been stolen, and it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. In Dead By Daylight [official site] people usually try to do the right thing, even if they’re risking their life to do it. It’s a horrid game that cleverly encourages good behaviour.

(more…)

The Lord of the Rings Online was due to finally add Mordor in its new expansion today, over a decade after the MMORPG first launched, but memesters will know full well that walking into Mordor is a difficult feat. The doorknob is at troll height, for starters. So it’s no surprise that developers Standing Stone Games announced at short notice that, contrary to plans, the Mordor expansion will not launch today. They’re busy squishing a bug and hope to offer an updated release date soon. (more…)

I downloaded free game Solarium [official site] pretty much entirely on the strength of the following negative Steam review: “I didn’t play it very long, but it’s literally all about plants. I guess I should’ve read more reviews about it prior to downloading, but unless you’re really interested in learning about plants, I wouldn’t suggest playing.”

Literally all about plants! Learning about plants!

What I found was a kind of Encarta ’95 Mind Maze-ish style of game as a kind of odd fusion of slightly stilted graphics and educational information. (more…)

Foxhole [official site], a massively multiplayer sandbox war where players act like units in an RTS, has invaded Steam Early Access. A war has raged for yonks, see, and now hundreds of players play every part from building bases and running supplies to, you know, fighting. After a stretch in open pre-alpha (which I downloaded but didn’t play because Plunkbat happened), Foxhole has now officially launched into paid early access. A bit like PlanetSide 2, World War 2 Online, and other persistent wars, it’s all one big throwdown across many fronts with grand schemes and grander failures. I hear good things from chums who are more resistant to Plunkbat’s siren call. (more…)

You know how sometimes you go to the swimming pool and in the grown-up full size bit there are boring lanes and people who tell you off for having fun but in the baby section there are inflatables and everyone is friendly and sometimes there’s a blow-up tropical island with a slide and you wish you could go in that pool instead of the boring adult pool even though there is also a lot of wee in there which you try not to think about?

That is how I feel about the newcomer-friendly changes to Dota 2 [official site]. Valve are making it NICER and more MANAGEABLE. No-one has mentioned a tropical island with a slide, but maybe it’s being kept secret. If it is I will KICK OFF. (more…)

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time.>

Pong but with the camera positioned behind> your paddle and the ball no longer limited to a 2D plane. Up, right, left, down; the possibilities were practically endless in 3D Pong. (more…)