This week featured some bordered lands. Four of them, in fact. A real turn up for the books, that one. Here's hoping the five people on Earth who aren't singing songs of silk appreciate a good knob gag, or several bad ones made in quick succession by a rectangular robot. I should de-sark myself. It's Friday. There's no place for sentences that mean the opposite.

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Smile and say AIEEEEE, horror fans! Tecmo and Team Ninja are bringing a "remake" of PS2 survival horror Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly to PC via Steam in early 2026. Why am I brandishing a glyph-covered Canon EOS 90D at you, while singing the Ghostbusters theme? Allow me to explain: Fatal Frame's signature touch is that you defeat spooks using a magic camera. Naturally, this also means that you have to look steadily and calmly at said spooks while they shimmer and sway towards you. Catch some of that nonsense in the remake's announcement trailer.

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For a week or so now, we've heard rumblings that Valve are preventing the creators of games with "mature themes" from releasing their games in Steam early access. At least two developers have disclosed that they're affected - Dammitbird, creators of raunchy fantasy RPG Heavy Hearts (do not click unless you are happy to look at a werewolf's penis), and Blue Fairy Media, creators of The Restoration of Aphrodisia (do not click unless you are happy to read about lewd transformations).

Dammitbird have screencapped and shared a message from Steam's submissions team, via Ana Valens on Bluesky. It reads: "Your app has failed our review because we're unable to support the Early Access model of development for a game with mature themes. Please resubmit when your app is ready to launch without Early Access."

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It’s been a rough first day at the office for Borderlands 4, which has launched amid spyware denials and widespread user reports of dodgy PC performance. That being crashing, stuttering, the usual Unreal Engine 5 trouble at the mill. Framerate-related grumbling in particular has prompted a Steam post from Gearbox, presenting a setting-by-setting guide to optimisation on GeForce graphics cards that their pals at Nvidia put together.

First off, oi, that’s my job. Second, I say "prompted", but the sheer number of GPUs it covers – separately for 1080p, 1440p, and 4K resolutions – has produced settings tables so rich in cells that it’s far more likely a sweating intern has spent the entire past week cranking these out. No disrespect, obviously. Solidarity to benchmarkers. But, are these guides reliable?

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