"Khaleesi"... "Car-leesy"... "Kaleeeessi". Oh, sorry. You've just caught me practising my Jorah Mormont impression. I want to get it perfected before next week, when Crusader Kings 2's brilliant Game of Thrones mod will launch its Essos update. That's because the arrival of the Eastern continent will also mean the introduction of its most famous inhabitant: Dany Stormborn and her three dragons.

"Daenerys is obviously a very important character in the Song of Ice and Fire," write the mod's creators in a development update, "and so we have given her a detailed event chain that spans the Clash of Kings and Feast for crows scenarios to try and recreate her story for the player in the mod."

"The main chain will follow her progress from Qarth to Astapor where she claims an Unsullied army," they continue. "From there the player must defeat the other cities of Slaver's Bay, and will hopefully one day eradicate slavery and return to Westeros. There are a few tangents the player can go on as well, maybe you will choose not to go to Slaver's bay and go straight to your homeland to reclaim your birthright?"

Elsewhere, the mod will be updated to take advantage of the base game's Sons of Abraham DLC. The Cardinal mechanics have been re-appropriated for the fantasy world's fiction - meaning the High Septon will be elected by a Council of the Most Devout. The DLC's pop-up events will also be repurposed with a ASoIaF twist.

The mod's update will release next Tuesday, 17th December. You can download the Game of Thrones mod from ModDB.

You see folks, this is why April Fools' Day is dangerous. Or awesome. Delete depending on your affinity for zombies. Back in the dark ages of seven and a bit months ago, Paradox Interactive released a teaser for a fictional Crusader Kings Z, a game that hypothetically merged zombie invasions with medieval European strategy. Months later, and that joke is now a real thing that you can play in Crusader Kings 2. Thanks mods!

For those who've played Sunset Invasion, Paradox's own alternate history add-on, Crusader Kings Z follows a similar pattern. At some point past the year 1000 AD, an event will trigger that unleashes a zombie horde in Ethiopia. From there they build in strength and numbers, spreading from Africa to Europe. It's your job to build a big enough army to stop them, all while stopping your dick half-brother from poisoning you. Just because there are zombies, that's no reason for regal intrigue to cease.

It's a small but enjoyable mod, with an understandably significant impact on campaigns. You can download Crusader Kings Z from here, although you'll need a Paradox forum account to access the page.

Thanks to a slip of the finger, I'm now thinking about the game Crusader Kingz. I imagine it would be a grand strategy in which you formed a hip-hop collective and, through bribery, intrigue, and sick rhymes, conspired to bring down the So Solid Crew. I would play the heck out of that game. As it turns out, though, this development diary is more concerned with Crusader Kings 2 and its Sons of Abraham DLC. Where the last video concentrated on changes to Christianity and Papal politics, this time Paradox show you their new Jewish and Muslim mechanics. That's mechanics as in game systems.



Crusader Kings 2: Sons of Abraham will be released later today, for around $10.

With the Sons of Abraham expansion for Crusader Kings II arriving next week, the medieval strategy sandbox will also receive the massive 2.0 patch. Heralding the arrival of what Paradox Development Studio calls "phase two" of the game's expansion and DLC cycle, 2.0 has one of the longest change lists of any patch the game has ever received. In addition to Steam achievements, workshop support, Ironman mode, and the replacement of the dismal metaserver-based multiplayer, the patch notes are also laden with the usual, hilarious-sounding fixes you only find in Crusader Kings.

The most entertaining pulls from the patch notes include:

Characters of a religion where priests are not allowed to marry will now divorce their wives if ordained
Fixed some bugs with how dead spouses are handled
Fixed a bug where dead popes would have the incorrect character portrait
Changes to the bastard children of Antso IV of Navarra
AI: Will no longer accept giving away women as concubines to characters whose religion they will not intermarry with
Modding: Added "evil_god_names" to religions, to be used in event texts
Modding: Added trigger 'any_spouse_even_if_dead'

Other highlights include a change to enemy war AI to put it more in line with Europa Universalis IV—AI armies will form "hunter-killer" stacks focused on winning battles rather than taking land, and will take army composition into account when engaging in battle (rather than just numbers). The CK2 to EU4 converter is also being updated to import the new Jewish religion and cultures, as well as unique ideas for Jerusalem, the Knights Templar, and the formable Kingdom of Israel.

You can read the full patch notes and a dev diary detailing the patch on the Paradox forums.

Oh, it's about the Abrahamic religions. I had entirely the wrong end of the stick. I'd assumed Sons of Abraham would transform CK2 into a game in which you played as Tad Lincoln - fourth son of Abraham - running around the White House and getting into comedy scrapes. Come to think of it, an overhaul of Christianity, and the introduction of playable Jewish characters, makes a lot more sense for the medieval grand strategy soap opera. A new development diary provides a complete overview of what Paradox hope to achieve with this latest expansion.



Papal plotting! Papal patronage! Papal palpitations! Today's top tip: say papal more. It's a really good word. It should also make for a good system, providing yet another avenue of familial scheming with which to gain a political upper hand over your enemies and relatives.

For more on Sons of Abraham, check out our announcement post, carefully noting that its URL is "Crusader Kings II: The Something Something Announced". Indeed it was, URL of the past. Indeed it was.

Paradox Development Studio has just announced the fifth expansion for Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham. Two long-requested features, playable Jewish characters and the ability to interact with the Catholic college of cardinals, will make their way into the medieval murder your brother and steal his stuff simulator. The ability to part the seas and march your armies through has yet to be confirmed, but quite a bit else has.

The focus of this expansion, contrasting the previous Old Gods DLC, is on the Abrahamic monotheistic faiths, with special attention paid to Christian, Muslim, and Jewish characters. Catholicism will now operate under a college of cardinals. Nine cardinals will be active at any one time, appointed by the Pope. You will be able to affect this process by grooming your courtiers for a church career, keeping on good terms with the Pope, and putting money into a campaign fund.

When the Pope dies, the active cardinals will elect a new one. If your Pope is elected, you will gain powerful abilities such as the ability to be granted a crusade on a target of your choice. Controlling several cardinals not only increases your chances of having one of your candidates elected Pope, but also makes it almost impossible for you to be excommunicated.



Holy Orders are also receiving an overhaul, with several new ones added such as the Christian Knights of Santiago and the Zoroastrian Immortals. You will now have the option of disposing of a troublesome son in the line of succession by sending them off to one of these orders, where they have a chance of being elected Grandmaster. Militaristic and pious characters may go to join the orders on their own.

Heresies are being overhauled as well, with unique mechanics, heads of religion, and the ability to replace the orthodox faith they broke off from if they come to outnumber it. One example given was the Cathar heresy of Catholicism, which allows the appointment of female priests. Muslim splinter groups will now have the ability to form their own Caliphates.

Speaking of Muslims, a new divide will be introduced over the course of the game in the form of the Mutazili and Ashari theological schools for Sunni characters. The former will focus on scientific progress, while the latter is more concerned with piety and divine law. Choosing a side will put you at odds with Sunni leaders following the opposite school.

The Jewish religion will be represented by the Khazar Khanate in the 867 start date, where the nobility historically converted to Judaism. It will not be possible to start as a Jewish leader in the other start dates, but Jewish characters will now appear in various courts, and it will be possible to educate your heirs with a Jewish tutor to convert your realm. New Jewish decisions will mainly revolve around the reclamation and restoration of the Kingdom of Israel. You will also have the opportunity to restore the Jewish High Priesthood.

This all comes on the back of the massive 2.0 patch, and what the devs are calling "Phase Two" of the CK2 expansion cycle. The patch will include over 300 new events (some of which will require the Sons of Abraham DLC), cloud saving, Ironman mode, and over 50 Steam achievements. You can read a bit more in the first dev diary.

And of course, this is a CK2 expansion, and you're reading PC Gamer. So expect a gigantic Q&A with Paradox in the near future.

Valve has revealed the specs for the Steam Machines prototypes. Evan, Tyler, Cory, and T.J. weigh in on the implications. Plus: Mongols racing F1 cars, gobbleshaft transplants, the Battlefield 4 beta, and callbacks to the bizarre world of early '90s television.

Accept no substitute for PC Gamer Podcast 364 - Doogie Don't Care!

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Remember when buying a game didn’t feel like a guarantee of seeing the ending? There are still hard games out there, Dark Souls flying the flag most recently, but increasingly, the challenge has dripped out or at least softened, often leading to sadly wasted opportunities. What would Skyrim be like, for instance, if its ice and snow wasn’t simply cosmetic, but actually punished you for going mountain climbing in your underpants?

With a quick mod – Frostfall in this case – you’re forced to dress up warm before facing the elements, and things become much more interesting. That’s just one example, and over the next couple of pages you’ll find plenty more. These aren’t mods that just do something cheap like double your enemy’s hit-points, they’re full rebalances and total conversions. Face their challenge, and they’ll reward you with both a whole new experience and the satisfaction of going above and beyond the call of duty.

Misery
Game: Stalker: Call of Pripyat
Link: ModDB



All those weapons scattered around? Gone. Anomalies? Now more dangerous. Magic mini-map? Forget it. Valuable quest rewards? Good luck. Things you do get: thirsty, and factions who send goons after you if you anger them. On the plus side Pripyat is much more active, with a complete sound overhaul, and new NPCs to meet – who all have to play by the rules too, with no more infinite ammo. If you can survive here, you’ve got a good chance when the actual apocalypse comes.

Project Nevada
Fallout: New Vegas
Link: Nexus Mods



Nevada is a good example of making things more difficult without being openly psychotic. Levelling is slower, players and NPCs get less health, and obvious features are now in, such as armour only being a factor in headshots if the target actually has head protection. It’s also possible to toggle some extra-hardcore options, such as food no longer healing and taking care of hunger/thirst/ sleep on the move. There’s a sack of new content, and an Extra Options mod is also available, offering even more control.

Brutal Doom
Game: Doom
Link: ModDB



Despite what modern ‘old-school’ shooters would have you think, Doom was a relatively sedate experience – fast running speed, yes, but lots of skulking in the dark and going slow. Not any more! Brutal Doom cranks everything up to 11, then yawns and goes right for 25.6. We’re talking extra shrapnel, execution attacks, tougher and faster monsters, metal music, and blood, blood, blood as far as your exploding eyes can see. It’s compatible with just about any level you can throw at it, turning even E1M1 into charnel house devastation. The enemies don’t get it all their own way, as Doomguy now starts with an assault rifle rather than simply a pistol, and a whole arsenal of new guns has been added to the Doom collection – including the BFG’s big brother.



Full Combat Rebalance 2
Game: The Witcher 2
Link: RedKit



This streamlines the combat and makes the action closer to how Geralt’s adventure might have played out in the books. He’s more responsive, can automatically parry incoming attacks, begins with his Witcher skills unlocked, and no longer has to spend most fights rolling around like a circus acrobat. But he’s in a tougher world, with monsters now figuring out counterattacks much faster, enemies balanced based on equipment rather than levels, and experience only gained from quests, not combat. Be warned this is a 1.5GB file, not the megabyte Hotfix that’s claimed.

Requiem
Game: Skyrim
Link: Nexus



Elder Scrolls games get ever more streamlined, and further from the classic RPG experience. Requiem drags Skyrim back, kicking and screaming. The world is no longer levelled for your convenience. Bandits deliver one-hit kills from the start. The undead mock arrows, quietly pointing out their lack of internal organs with a quick bonk to your head. Gods hold back their favour from those who displease them. Most importantly, stamina is now practically a curse. Heavy armour and no training can drain it even if you’re standing still, and running out in battle is Very Bad News. Combine this with Frostfall, and Skyrim finally becomes the cold, unforgiving place it claims to be.

Radious
Total War: Shogun 2
Link: TWCenter



Not only is this one of the most comprehensive mods any Total War game has ever seen, its modular nature makes it easy to pick and choose the changes that work best for the experience you want. Together, the campaign AI is reworked, as are the skills and experience systems, diplomacy and technology trees. There are over 100 new units. Campaigns are also longer, providing more time to play with all this, with easier access to the good stuff early on in the name of variety. There’s even a sound module that adds oomph to rifles. Add everything, or only the bits you want. It’s as much of a tactical decision as anything else on the road to conquering Japan.

Game of Thrones
Game: Crusader Kings II
Link: ModDB



Real history doesn’t have enough bite for you? Recast the whole thing with Starks, Lannisters, Freys and the rest and it will. This doesn’t simply swap a few names around, but works with the engine to recreate specific scenarios in the war for the Iron Throne. Individual characters’ traits are pushed into the foreground, especially when duels break out. Wildlings care little about who your daddy was. It’s best to know a fair amount about the world before jumping in, and the scenarios themselves contain spoilers, but you’re absolutely not restricted to just following the story laid down in the books.



Realistic Weapons
Game: Grand Theft Auto IV
Link: GTAGarage



Guess what this one does. A bowling league for Roman? Cars that drive themselves? A character who appears to tell Niko “You have $30,000 in your pocket, you don’t need to goon for assholes” after Act 2? No, of course not. These guns put a little reality back into the cartoon that is GTA. The missions weren’t written with that in mind, obviously, but there’s nothing stopping you from giving it a shot. Worst case: murdering random civilians on the street is much quicker, easier and more satisfying. At least until the cops show up to spoil the fun. Range, accuracy, damage, ammo and fire rate are all covered, though be warned that you shouldn’t expect perfect accuracy from your upgraded hardware. This is GTA after all. Realism is not baked into its combat engine.

The Long War
Game: XCOM: Enemy Unknown
Link: NexusMods



You’re looking at eight soldier classes, many more missions, invaders as focused on upgrades as your own science team, and a much longer path to victory. Research is slow, not least to make early weapon upgrades more useful, while the aliens are constantly getting more powerful. Their ships are better, their terror missions are more regular, and more of them show up for battle. In exchange, you get to field more Interceptors, the council is easier to appease, and the ETs don’t cheat as much.

Ziggy's Mod
Game: Far Cry 3
Link: NexusMods



Ziggy makes Rook Island a more natural place, removing mission requirements for skills, cutting some of the easier ways to earn XP, increasing spawn rates to make the island busier, and throwing away the magic mini-map in favour of a compass. The second island is also unlocked from the start. Smaller changes include randomised ammo from dropped weapons, being able to climb hills that you should realistically be able to, and wingsuit abilities made available earlier to get more out of them.

Terrafirmacraft
Game: Minecraft
Link: Terrafirmacraft



Minecraft has a Survival mode, but it’s not desperately challenging. Terrafirmacraft takes it seriously, with hunger and thirst that must be dealt with at all times, and key elements added such as the need to construct support beams while mining to prevent cave-ins, and a seasonal cycle that determines whether or not trees will produce fruit. Many more features are to be added, but there’s enough here already to make survival about much more than throwing together a Creeper-proof fort.



Synergies Mod
Game: Torchlight II
Link: Synergies Mod



This adds a new act to the game, over a hundred monsters, new rare bosses, a new class – the Necromancer – more and tougher monsters and the gear to take them on. There are also endgame raids to add challenge once the world is saved yet again, and more on the way – including two new classes (Paladin and Warlock). It’s the top-ranked Torchlight II mod on Steam Workshop, and easily the most popular. Be aware that it’s still in development, and has a few rough edges.

Civilization Nights
Game: Civilization V
Link: Steam Workshop



While Brave New World has officially given Civ V a big shake up, for many players Nights remains its most popular add-on. It’s a comprehensive upgrade, adding new buildings, wonders, technologies and units, with a heavy focus on policies and making the AI better. The single biggest change is how it calculates happiness, citizens adding cheer simply by existing, but the slow march of war and other miseries detracting from the good times. Annexed a city? Don’t expect too many ticker-tape parades. Yet keeping happiness up is crucial, as it’s also the core of a strong military. This rebalancing completely changes how you play, while the other additions offer plenty of scope for new tactics and even more carefully designed civilisations.

Ultimate Difficulty Mod
Game: Dishonored
Link: TTLG Forums



This makes Dishonored’s enemies more attentive, faster and able to hear a pin drop from the other side of the map. When you get into a fight, it quickly becomes an all-out street war. The biggest change is to Dishonored’s second most abusable ability: the Lean (Blink of course being #1). Corvo can no longer sit behind scenery, lean out into an enemy’s face and be politely ignored. He’s now much more likely to be spotted – especially in ghost runs, where his advantages are now limited to the Outsider’s gifts rather than the Overseers’ continued lack of a local Specsavers.

Hardcore
Game: Deus Ex
Link: ModDB



New augmentations! Altered AI! Randomised inventories! Also a few time-savers: instead of separate keys and multitools for instance, a special keyring has both, while upgrades are used automatically if necessary. Difficulty also changes the balance considerably, from the standard game to ‘Realistic’ mode where you only get nine inventory slots, to ‘Unrealistic’, which makes JC Denton the cyborg killing machine he’s meant to be, but at the cost of facing opponents who warrant it. In this mode he gets double-jumping powers, and automatically gobbles health items when he gets badly wounded. Good luck though, I still got nowhere.

Paradox Interactive has weighed in on the recent announcement of SteamOS, and with a very positive attitude. CEO Fredrik Wester called it a "great thing for PC gaming," and confirmed that the publisher fully intends to support it going forward. Titles like Crusader Kings 2 and Europa Universalis IV, which already have working Linux versions, will run natively on the new OS.

"We have been developing for SteamOS for quite a while as it’s basically the same as the Linux version Steam runs," Johan Andersson, Studio Manager of Paradox Development Studio (one of Paradox's internal dev teams), confirmed. "CK2 & EU4 should run on it natively, as it runs on Linux on Steam, and all our future games will as well. We think SteamOS is great for gamers, as it will give far better performance on the same hardware than Windows does."

While the publishing side of Paradox hasn't committed to the same universal support at this point, Wester expressed that the roster of Paradox-published games that run on SteamOS will continue to grow.

"We are actively expanding the number of published games on SteamOS—and as Johan mentioned, is fully supporting SteamOS already," he said. "SteamOS is a great thing for PC gaming; competition means more choices which, in the end, should favor gamers."

And so it was that August 30th, 2013 did come to be known as the Day of The Deals. Internet denizens bravely descended on their stores, dodging pay-what-you-want here, and 75% off there. Could any make it through this budgetary gauntlet with their wallets unharmed? That, dear reader, is for you to find out...

Look, basically what I'm saying is there are a lot of cheap games today. The first of which is a staggeringly good Humble Weekly Sale featuring entrées from the Paradox plate.

Here's what's inside:


War of the Roses: Kingmaker
Warlock: Master of the Arcane
Leviathan: Warships
Dungeonland
The Showdown Effect
Europa Universalis III Complete


And, if you beat the average (currently at $5.80):


Crusader Kings II
Magicka


Taken as a full bundle, it's an absurdly good deal. Of the games that I've spent much time with: Crusader Kings II is an excellent strategy centred on lineage and intrigue, Magicka is a satisfying and funny co-op wizard-'em-up, and Warlock is a quick 'n light action-focused 4X. All of the others have reviewed reasonably well, too.

Alternatively, you could get "The Big Kahuna", which costs a flat $125, but comes with 48 games - essentially, all of the publisher's games, with the exception of Europa Universalis IV. The downside of that deal is that you also get Gettysburg: Armored Warfare, but it's okay, you can just ignore it.

The sale runs for another six and a bit days.