It is Friday. Very little is happening, because that’s how Fridays work. But there’s a reason for that: everyone’s exhausted. It’s been a long week of whatever it is you actually do, and while you’re normally some grand mover-and-shaker or titan of industry, today you’re almost out of steam. You need something to help you make it through the next few hours. Just a little> something. Let’s call it a pick-me-up. Yes, actually, let’s definitely call it that, because this Chivalry video involves armored men being plucked from terra firma’s loamy embrace and rocketed screaming into the sky against their wills. Literally screaming. If you don’t laugh yourself to the point of wheezing purple pain, you’re a better person than me.

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We love a bit of Torn Banner’s elegant game of violent multiplayer dismemberment, Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, and that romance is made all the sweeter by the gifts it keeps bestowing upon us. The first content update, which has now arrived, brings new game modes, and their relevant maps, as well as a bunch of new environments for the existing game. (And frankly, they look gorgeous.) Then there are new weapons, and a bunch of game tweaks, from being able to swing your weapon differently, to blood splatters on the ground. It’s a wealth of bonus stuff for those of you awash in the unattached parts of your digital enemies.

Get your eyes plucked out as a warning to other games by the latest trailer, below. (more…)

Chivalry‘s not dead. Actually, it’s doing very well, I have heard. Adam had quite the time with it at launch, and Torn Banner’s promised so many free updates that, eventually, I imagine we’ll see medieval knights obtain trusty steeds, and then trade those steeds for rideable rockets. So yes, it’s probably about time you give it a go. But how? I bet it’s impossible. You should probably just give up. No wait! My mistake. It’s actually the easiest thing ever. Chivalry’s free on Steam this weekend, you see, so the ancient art of horrifically violent trash can battling is just a download away.

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Limb-lopping sword ‘em up Chivalry: Medieval Warfare rather impressed Adam, and it seems like it’s been popular with you guys, too, because Torn Banner are toasting their success with a new patch, a Q&A video (below) and the promise of free updates for the game in the near future, fleshing out things like spectator mode. Relatedly, they’re talking about pushing towards e-sports support, even. The patch already did a lot of work with the issues people had raised, and you can see the the full patch notes here. (more…)

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare is an extremely violent pageant of limb-lopping, a first-person deathmatch game as bloody as any I’ve ever played. For several days now I have carved my way through the ranks of my enemies and now, upon this scroll, I do declare that this is Wot I Think(eth).>

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And also an arm. And a leg. And a head, if you’re feeling especially generous/decapitated. Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, Torn Banner’s claimant to the suddenly contested online thwack ‘n’ slash throne, is now riding onto the battlefield. And by the looks of things, it means business. And by “means business,” I mean wow. I’ve been enjoying War of the Roses despite a number of flaws, but I might give it a break this evening to stare intently as Chivalry’s download bar fills up on Steam. I’m exaggerating, of course, but it really does look quite impressive. Peruse the limb-severing carnage with your eyeballs – which are hopefully still attached to your body in some form or another – after the break.

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