PC gaming has a long and storied history of menu and customization sliders. So long and storied, in fact, that I can't be bothered to research it. Instead, I'm just going to post gifs of some of my favorite game sliders, be they sliders that adjust a character's facial features, body parts, or accessories, or ones that let you tweak some element of a game from zero to 100, and beyond!

Okay, not beyond. Typically, they just go to 100.

Here are PC gaming's best sliders. If I missed one of your favorites, just slide into the comments and let me know.

Foot Size: Reign of Kings

Open world survival game Reign of Kings has a lot going for it—including the ability to kill yourself by bashing your face with a rock you can store in your own butt—and that includes a surprisingly robust character creation utility, which allows you to adjust nearly every aspect of your avatar.

Of all the sliders you can use to lovingly or comically sculpt your character, my favorite is the foot size slider. It's notable, I feel, that when maxed out it actually and appreciably changes the height of your character by about six in-game inches. More games should allow this: just imagine Geralt sitting in that tub dangling a pair of size 75 feet over the side.

Sex Appeal: Saints Row The Third

Saint's Row The Third's character creation menu is refreshingly unrestricted, allowing you to create any sort of character you like. This isn't one of the standard "You're a dude, so you have a dude voice and can't wear makeup" type of utilities: you can pretty much do whatever the hell you like. It's wonderful and inclusive and literally every game should follow its example.

The best of all its many sliders, however, is the Sex Appeal slider, which lets you embiggen your boobs or your junk, as seen above. Feast your bulging eyes on some bulges.

Flex Scale: Garry's Mod

Memes, comics, machinima—there are all sorts of wonders (and horrors) Garry's Mod can be used for. The Face Poser tool is just one of many useful gadgets, but it comes with an amazing slider called Flex Scale. Amazing, that is, when applied to a model it wasn't meant for.

As any comic creator can tell you, the TF2 models, while compatible with Garry's Mod, don't quite work the same way as the HL2 models when using the Face Poser. Still, the results are bizarre and disturbing and certainly entertaining. And if you're looking to create actual, usable facial expressions on TF2 characters, there's one or two mods for Garry's Mod that make it much easier.

Brightness: Every Horror Game Ever

As a huge scaredy-pants who doesn't like being scared in his pants, I'm always appreciative of the brightness slider that comes with Every Horror Game Ever. While its intentions are to make sure you can't see the dark and spooky places very well, and thus heighten the scares, I use it for the opposite reason. To make things as bright as possible. So the scares aren't so scary.

So no, Every Horror Game Ever, I will not fall into your trap by adjusting the brightness so the mark in the center is barely visible. I will use it so all of the marks are as visible as humanly possible. Thanks for the warning, though.

Eyelashes: Black Desert Online

I've never personally played Black Desert Online, and after tinkering with its character creation menu for a bit, I probably never will. That's no diss, it's a compliment: there are so many options in BDO's character creation menu I can't imagine ever completing the process of building my avatar. It's amazing.

Among the umpteen various sliders, however, I'm picking the eyelash length slider as my favorite. I'm used to selecting eyebrows for my character, but never lashes, and not only are there several type to choose from, you can dictate how long they are. That's customization.

Body Oil Intensity: WWE 2K17

Why yes, I did just buy a $50 game simply so I could use a slider to coat a beefy hairless man with oil. The character customization is pretty great in WWE 2K17, and even includes sliders for enhancing veins in your wrestler's chest and stomach, if you're looking to create a wrestler suffering from acute thrombophlebitis. But, I'm going with Body Oil Intensity slider as my favorite, probably due to the word 'Intensity.' I think it's a great word to describe the amount of oil one has smeared on their body.

Body Oil Assistant: "So, Bob The Wrestler, how much oil should I slather on your veiny, hairless body before the Very Important Wrestling Fight?"*

Bob The Wrestler: "An intense amount. The most intense amount there is."

*Sorry if that's not convincing dialogue. I don't watch wrestling.

Endowment: Conan Exiles

Well. I guess won't post an animated gif on this one, though if you want to see a naked man's dong getting rapidly bigger and smaller you can check it out in this post or contact me on Skype very late in the evenings (if anyone but me answers, hang up immediately). Conan's Endowment Slider is so great it's even been set to music!

I suspect players either opt for setting the endowment slider either all the way to the right, or all the way to the left. There's simply no middle-ground when it comes to video game wieners. Though, with modding tools now available, I suspect we'll see more options for genital sculpting sometime soon.

Dialog Volume: Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

When I'm asked about my feelings on Borderland's Claptrap—note that I've never once been asked—I'd have to gently say I'm not a fan. The bot's got gusto, but when it comes to the mathematics of humor, the equation volume + quantity = comedy simply doesn't add up. To put it bluntly, Claptrap talks too much, too loudly, and I hate him.

While Borderlands 2 didn't have a separate slider for dialogue volume, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel did. I can only assume the reason for it is fan feedback. Shush, little robot. You're trying too hard.

GOG has added some Saints Row, some Darksiders, and a Metro game to its lineup, all of them completely without the hassles and headaches we know (and really don't love) as digital rights management. And to mark the moment, it's got them all on sale, too.

First up is Saints Row 2, now on for $4 instead of the regular $10 price, and Saints Row: The Third—The Full Package, which includes the main game and a pile of DLC, for $5 instead of $15. Then there's Darksiders, currently going for $8, and Darksiders II, which is $12. The Darksiders II Complete DLC pack is also up for grabs for $8.

Finally, there's Metro: Last Light Redux, and this one strikes me as a bit odd, because Metro 2033 Redux is nowhere to be seen. Licensing issues are sometimes a problem with GOG releases, but Deep Silver hold the rights to the entire franchise, so if it can do one it should be able to do both. Technical issues, maybe?

Whatever the case, Metro: Last Light Redux is on for $12.50, which I'd say is a really good price for a really good shooter. All five of the new-to-GOG games are available now, and will remain on sale until May 18.

Update: The mystery of the missing Metro hasn't exactly been solved, but it has been acknowledged, and there's a chance the game will turn up at some point in the future. "We cannot say exactly why it s been released this way, since this is related to discussions that are under NDA," a GOG rep explained. "But we sure hope that we will be able to bring Metro 2033 Redux to GOG in the future."

Want to play some free games this weekend? Steam's latest Free Weekend promotion has a couple to choose from, and they couldn't be more different. One lets you colonise an alien world, another lets you spray liquid faeces at buildings and people.

I'll let you decide which sounds more appealing. No judgements.

In one corner we have Firaxis's latest, Civilization: Beyond Earth. In the other corner, Volition's absurdist open-world comedy Saints Row. It's the full series that's playable, including Saints Row 2, Saints Row: The Third and Saints Row IV.

I particularly enjoyed the latter two Saints Rows, which are enjoyably silly and perfect for a mindless weekend of laughs and carnage. If you are in the mood for something more considered, Beyond Earth is a perfectly good alternative. I'm not it's greatest fan—much preferring last year's Endless Legend—but our reviewer liked it a lot.

To download any of the games, head to their Steam page and click the "Play Game" button. You've got until Sunday to get your free time in, and each game is discounted until Monday if you like what you play.

Uh oh. Humble Bundle is already in the midst of a tempting Spring Sale (Saint Row IV is currently $10!) at the same time as GOG s Spring Insomnia Sale, and your wallet cowers in fear of Steam s next seasonal sale. The last thing it needs is another opportunity for amazing savings, but that s just what Humble Bundle announced with its new Humble Daily Bundle.
For the next two weeks, Humble Bundle will put up a new bundle every day. For the next 24 hours it s offering the Humble Deep Silver Re-Bundle, which includes Saints Row: The Third, Risen 2, Metro 2033, Dead Island, and others. You can get all the games including their soundtracks if you pay $9 or more. As usual, a designated portion of your purchase will go toward the Electronic Frontier Foundation or Child s Play.
This first daily sale looks just as good as Humble Bundle s usual offerings, so it s definitely worth checking in regularly over the next two weeks to see what games pop up there. It s okay. You weren't using that money anyway.

Are all your friends playing Saints Row IV and you're not? Me too. Are you going to wait for it to go on sale? Me too. In the meantime, fellow budget-conscious gamer, join me in wringing a bit more ridiculous, violent fun from Saints Row: The Third. We'll do it with cheats! Not just some cheats. ALL of the cheats, compiled into a single mod (by master SR modder IdolNinja) called Sandbox+ v1.2. It maps dozens of cheats to simple key combinations, allowing you easily teleport to different locations, give yourself superpowers, and turn all the citizens of Steelport into zombies or mascots.
With the mod installed, I naturally begin by turning all the pedestrians into zombies. This is a cheat from the original game, but instead of having to take out my in-game phone and enter a code, I can just hold down 7 and press the INSERT key. PRECIOUS SECONDS ARE SAVED! See, I want to pretend the zombie apocalypse has hit Steelport, and fight my way across the city on foot through scores of zombies, armed only with a spiked bat and a shotgun.


Zombies. Does this mean Chris Hardwick will talk excitedly about my column? God, I hope not.
Zombies slowly begin to appear on the sidewalk and chase the remaining, uninfected citizens around, trying to bite them. Within a minute there are no citizens left, only shambling flesh-eaters, and they have my scent. WilI make it through this grim version of Steelport alive?


The TF2 Scout couldn't dream of doing this with his puny bat.
Well, uh, yeah. Quite easily, in fact. I can run faster than the zombies, and I never get tired, so just straight-up fleeing isn't a a problem. Plus, they still spawn like citizens, on the sidewalk, leaving me a clear path down the middle of the street, and they only really get aggro if I get close to them. So, my desperate run through Steelport isn't quite as fraught with peril as I'd expected. I switch to my bat to make things harder, but my bat is actually a lot better than my shotgun at wiping out crowds of zombies. Huh.


Christina Hendricks is NOT impressed.
Well! My plan of spending the entire column describing Steelport's zombie apocalypse isn't going to pan out, so I'm forced to turn to other activities. One thing will always remain fresh and fun: killing mascots. Another key combo (7 and HOME) turns everyone in the city from zombies into costumed characters. The city becomes an instant cosplay convention, with walking bottles, rabbits, and monkeys, all strolling around or driving those little carts and scooters.


Suddenly, I'm the weird one.
They don’t attack me like zombies, of course, but I won't let that stop me from treating them as hostile targets. What could be more offensive to humanity than some sweaty idiot stuffed into a giant foam suit? They must die. They ALL must die, and as it happens, they're all here, so that works out pretty well.


Running down mascots. It's just good clean fun.
If you’re looking for a seedier experience, another key combo will let you transform the city into one big brothel, where every citizen is turned into a pimp or a prostitute.


Now, at least, I don't feel like the weird one.
Along with transforming (and murdering) the populace, there are roughly 1 million other cheats, all accessible with a simple two-key combo. Teleportation keys can be punched to whisk you anywhere in the city, to the roof of the tallest building in Steelport, the top of the steelworker statue, and even to Mars. No more trying to remember where you parked your helicopter: just press the right keys and you're whisked to your destination. Another key combo lets you cycle through the various times of day in the blink of an eye.


Teleport + clock control = no more waiting around to take attractive daytime screenshots.
There are plenty of standard cheats, like turning off police notoriety, so the cops don’t chase you because you just ran over seventy-five mascots. On the other hand, what's the point of running over seventy-five mascots if it doesn't lead to a massive battle with the fuzz? The superpowers that come with chugging a can of irradiated Saints Flow can be yours with just another couple keystrokes, letting you run through the city with the speed of a sports car for as long as you like.


Running in heels at 60mph. Can't feel good no matter how super you are.
Speaking of super, you can imbue yourself with explosive electrical or pyrotechnical powers that pulse from your body at regular intervals, blasting your enemies (or, you know, whomever happens to be nearby) into jiggling helplessness on the street around you.


I found something better than running over mascots. Watching them deathjiggle as you electrocute them.
Sandbox+ v1.2 is pretty much what it says it is: a sandbox, something to play around in, putting scores of cheats at your fingertips and letting you muck around with whatever you want, whenever you want it. I wouldn’t use this mod if you’re legit playing through the game, but if you’ve finished the game or just want to mess around for a bit, this mod is good for a few hours of chaotic, wish-fulfilling gameplay.
Installation: There are a few important steps, and several files that need to go in separate places, but the readme.txt that comes in the download (this is a direct link to the .rar, and here's a link to the forum with info on the mod) is easy to follow, and includes all the new command key combos. Once you’ve got the files in the right spot and have loaded the game, you’ll need to go to the option screen and reset your key-mapping to the defaults. You can re-customize it after that, but the new key combos won’t work unless you first switch to the default setup. More info on how to do this properly in this post.

With the release of Saints Row IV just around the corner, it seems that publisher Deep Silver wants to set a charitable tone with a Humble Bundle consisting of its more delinquent titles. After all, crime’s perfectly legal if it’s done in the name of sick children.

The Humble Deep Silver Bundle base package consists of Saints Row: The Third, Saints Row 2, Risen 2: Dark Waters, and the Gold Edition of Sacred 2, along with the soundtrack for each game. Chipping in at least $4.70 will get you Dead Island GOTY edition, along with a DLC-laden version of Saints Row: The Third. And finally, if you chip in a whopping $25, you’ll nab yourself a copy of Dead Island: Riptide, though you might want to hold off on that one.

We should also mention that the PC version of Saints Row 2 was a poorly-optimized mess when it first came out, so keep that in mind if you’re nabbing the bundle for that title alone. There’s a chance things have gotten a bit better since we last visited the city of Stilwater, but we still recommend you proceed with caution.

The Saints Row games do not officially support modding - although that's hardly stopped fans from cracking them open and making them the hard way. Well, things are about to get a whole lot easier thanks to developer Volition, who are giving their support to the modding community by proving a package containing "documentation, file formats, tools, and more", which will go towards creating "what is essentially a full sdk" for Saints Row: The Third. Even more exciting is the suggestion that this is a "test run" for a similar set of tools for the upcoming Saints Row IV.

Given how few developers throw their weight behind mod tools these days, this is an excellent turn of events, even if Volition aren't putting together something official. Here's idolninja explaining the situation:

"Jeff Thompson, the Studio Director of Programming at Volition, is putting together a package for us containing documentation, file formats, tools, and more on the Saints Row: The Third engine. Myself, Minimaul, and gibbed will be working closely with Jeff over the coming months to use this information to create a robust set of modding tools to supplement our existing ones and creating what is essentially a full sdk for the game! But, that’s not all! Saints Row: The Third is only the beginning! Jeff has confirmed that he will also be digging up all the Saints Row 2 info that he can so we can do the same for it as well, and that this undertaking is actually a “test run” for Saints Row IV.

"So, what does this actually mean to the average Saints Row player? In simple terms, the modding community will finally be able to create and offer new clothing, new vehicles, new guns, new npcs, new missions, and even new world geometry which will greatly extend the life of the series and enhance the Saints Row games in ways we never even dared to dream of."

It's hard to imagine what mods could possibly add to Saints Row 4, given that it already features superpowers, Inflate-O-Rays and a dubstep gun. But I'm looking forward to finding out.

Thanks, Blues News!

Aliens, superpowers, inflation lasers, a dubstep gun - judging from its short teaser trailer, Saints Row IV looks to be the most ridiculous game in the series yet. Speaking to OXM, Volition senior producer Jim Boon responded to comments made by Cliff Bleszinski - who suggested the game should tone down its more juvenile elements - saying, "I think our tone is an element of our success."

"Ultimately I don't think that SR's tone gets in the way of bigger sales. If anything, I think our tone is an element of our success. SR is quite unlike anything else out there, and I think gamers crave unique experiences - I know I do. We have a lot of passionate fans that love SR, so I think we are striking the right chord."

Despite this, Boon says the team doesn't feel pressure to outdo the ridiculousness of previous games - even though they clearly have. "If anything it is liberating to be able to come up with any idea we think gamers will enjoy with no restrictions. Ultimately the pressure comes from trying to keep things fun in SR4. We have a very creative team that comes up with some fairly crazy ideas - that is almost the easy part for the team.

"The challenge is to make sure these ideas have a purpose and are fun," Boon continues. "We don't want to do crazy just for the sake of being over the top, so it is important that our crazy ideas actually add to the game. The pressure comes from having the time to really hone our idea into something that feels awesome for the player. We have had to cut any number of ideas if we thought we couldn't get the fun factor where it needs to be."

All fine and well, but would fans really miss the giant purple dildos? Boon thinks yes. "I think our fans would miss what might considered juvenile elements of previous SR games. Based on the overall reception and sales of SR3, I strongly suspect many people enjoy this aspect of SR, even if some may not want to admit feeling that way. Thinking of a movie series like The Hangover - people love the humor but you might not want to discuss some of the finer moments of those movies with your mom, for example.

"I think the same might be true for SR. We do get an awful lot of feedback from fans telling us much they love our juvenile tone - with some asking us to go even further! Ultimately SR4 doesn't try to take itself too seriously and we even have a lot of fun at our own expense."

Read the full interview to learn how superpowers have been integrated into the game, and how the team coped during THQ's bankruptcy.

Saints Row 4 is due out August 23rd.

Saints Row 4 debuted last week with all the subtlety one might expect from a game with dubstep guns and rocket-launching guitars, and it's eyeballing an August 20 release. That sets up a scant month-long gap between it and Grand Theft Auto 5's planned September launch, and Rockstar's titan has both years of success and a heavy fanbase to bring to bear. Speaking to Eurogamer, Volition Producer Jim Boone says the team isn't worried in the slightest and feels Saints Row is unique enough to stack up to its giant competitor.

"Obviously, when announced its date and it was so close to us, that was an interesting phenomenon," Boone says. "But the thing we feel good about in general is that we're such a different game to what they are. If we were stylistically similar to the first Saints Row, I'd be horrified right now. Saints Row: The Third came out the same time as Assassin's Creed, but the games are so different in terms of what they do."

Saints Row 4 certainly departs heavily from its original predecessor (remember when you were fighting gangs?), adopting a chaotic grab-bag of wacky antics such as superpowers, alien invasions, and pedestrian-firing cat cannons. Grand Theft Auto 5 is much more narrative-focused by comparison, weaving a more serious tale of crime and redemption connected across multiple main characters.

For Boone, open world games have come along far enough for both styles to co-exist peacefully. "The genre's matured enough where you can have all these different styles and still be an open world game and be different," he states. "So I look at GTA 5 and think there's this massive game coming out, but I don't think that with our superpowers and alien invasions, no one will compare us to them."

It isn't often we see the words "Origin" and "sale" next to each other, but this week is the exception: EA is running a week-long Player Appreciation Sale which discounts some pretty hefty games in the publisher's lineup—titans such as Mass Effect 3, Crysis 3, and Battlefield 3.

Here's the full list of games on sale and their prices:

Battlefield 3 Premium—$25
Battlefield 3—$12
Battlefield 3 Premium Edition—$30
Crysis 3—$30
Crysis 3 Digital Deluxe Edition—$40
Crysis 3 Digital Deluxe Upgrade—$10
The Sims 3 Seasons—$20
The Sims 3 University Life—$28
The Sims 3 Supernatural—$15
Dead Space—$6
Dead Space 2—$6
Dead Space 3—$30
Resident Evil 5—$10
Mass Effect 3—$10
The Walking Dead—$10
Batman: Arkham City GOTY Edition—$12
FIFA Soccer 13—$20
Command & Conquer Ultimate Collection—$15
Hitman: Absolution—$15
Saints Row: The Third Full Package—$25
Assassin's Creed 3—$35
Assassin's Creed 3 Deluxe Edition—$56
Darksiders 2—$18
Dead Island GOTY Edition—$10
Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City—$25


Normal and special editions on sale? And they're big games? I don't want to spoil this rare opportunity to enjoy a good Origin sale with cynicism, but it's hard not to chortle lightly at the convenient devaluing of nearly half the games EA offered SimCity players for free earlier this week.