An absurd conversation card game and life sim. Build your deck, read the room and chain cards into combos while balancing affection, suspicion, time and rent. Your next outrageous request might earn a transfer or an awkward reply. Simplified Chinese only.

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This game is not yet available on Steam

Planned Release Date: Nov 2, 2026

This game plans to unlock in approximately 2 weeks

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About This Game

He's talking feelings. You're counting down to rent day.

崩老头模拟器 is an absurd single-player conversation card game and life sim. Build a deck of greetings, concern, flirting and probing questions. Read the room, play your cards in order, and see whether your contact sends money or starts getting suspicious.

The game currently supports Simplified Chinese only.

Small talk. Carefully played.

Is he complaining about work or showing off his latest success? Choose cards that fit the conversation. Affection, infatuation, suspicion and jealousy shape each relationship, and repeating the same approach may stop working.

Play the long con. Land the combo.

Specific sequences of three to six cards trigger named combos and comic-style celebrations. Their rewards can raise affection, lower suspicion and prepare the next conversation. Not every payoff is cash.


Promotional concept art, not a gameplay screenshot.

Absurd excuses. Very real bills.

Play a request card before finding out which authored request has been randomly selected. It might be an everyday expense or completely straight-faced nonsense: "Could you buy me a 5090? I want to fine-tune GPT-6." An outrageous excuse is no guarantee of a transfer, and repeated requests can raise suspicion.


Promotional concept art, not a gameplay screenshot.

Choose your deck before choosing your words.

Organize your deck and opening hand, balancing reliable replies, relationship progress and combo setups. Take courses to unlock new conversation cards, then bring them into your next chat.

Romance can wait. Rent cannot.

Chatting costs time and in-game mobile data. Rest at your apartment, take part-time jobs, shop for outfits or study new conversation skills while keeping living expenses and rent covered.

This game features fictional characters, exaggerated situations and absurd humor. It is not real-world relationship or financial advice. All money and mobile-data resources described here are in-game systems.

AI Generated Content Disclosure

The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this:

AI tools assisted with portions of the artwork, prerecorded music, dialogue writing, localization and promotional materials. During play, a bundled local language model generates short Chinese conversations between fictional adults. Players choose authored cards rather than entering free-form prompts. Money requests come from an authored pool; game rules determine payment outcomes. Live AI dialogue runs locally in the default packaged game.

Mature Content Description

The developers describe the content like this:

Contains non-explicit flirting between fictional adults, satire about relationships and money, and occasional mildly derogatory or crude wording. Some character outfits are revealing. Decorative images include celebratory alcohol bottles and glasses, and dialogue includes a tobacco-related reference.

System Requirements

Windows
macOS
    Minimum:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 11 (64-bit)
    • Processor: Intel Core i5 (8th generation)
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 3.3 compatible graphics
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: Local AI can run on CPU. Dialogue generation speed varies with hardware. A dedicated GPU and 16 GB RAM are recommended.
    Recommended:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 11 (64-bit)
    • Processor: Intel Core i5 (8th generation)
    • Memory: 16 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Dedicated GPU with Vulkan support for faster local dialogue
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
    Minimum:
    • OS: macOS 13.0 (Apple Silicon) / macOS 12.0 (Intel)
    • Processor: Apple Silicon or 64-bit Intel
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 3.3 compatible graphics
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: Local AI included. OS versions listed are build compatibility targets. Tested on Apple M4 with macOS 26.6.2; older macOS and Intel hardware have not been verified. 16 GB RAM is recommended.
    Recommended:
    • OS: macOS 26.6.2
    • Processor: Apple M4
    • Memory: 16 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Apple Silicon integrated GPU (Metal acceleration)
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: Tested with 16 GB unified memory and Metal acceleration. Dialogue generation speed varies with hardware.
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