About This Game

A VERY FAIR GAME:

Everything Hates Me is a peaceful 2D platformer where absolutely nothing wants to hurt you.

• The floor is trustworthy.
  The signs never lie.
  The trees are friendly.
  The exit definitely won't run away.

Probably.

Your only job is simple:

Reach the exit.

Unfortunately, the game has other plans.

SO MUCH SUFFERING:

• 500 handcrafted levels at launch

• Free updates planned toward 500+ levels

• Hundreds of traps, tricks, and terrible ideas

• Floors that stop being floors

• Walls that may need to be ridden

• Signs containing highly questionable advice

• Objects that are sometimes enemies and sometimes the solution

• Fast deaths and even faster retries

• Old traps returning exactly when you forgot about them

• A developer who is definitely on your side

THE RULES ARE SIMPLE:

Die.

Learn what killed you.

Die again.

Realize you learned the wrong lesson.

Eventually reach the exit.

Maybe.

EVERYTHING HATES YOU.

The floor hates you.
The walls hate you.
The trees hate you.
The game hates you.

And by the end...

you might hate the developer too.