Make burgers, whale in a pay-to-win game, and simp your heart out in this parody roguelite where the strongest artifact is your in-game credit card—assuming you didn’t slack at your shift. It’s not the Darkest Dungeon. It’s the greediest one.

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Planned Release Date: 2026

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About This Game

The Royal Pin is stolen. The world is doomed. At least the world of the pay-to-win game that Stacy is weirdly hooked on, and you’re kinda into her, so it’s your problem too. 

There’s only one way forward. Master the burger kitchen. Make generational wealth (or at least a tenner). Throw it at the game to beat the Dungeon. Rinse. Repeat.

Features:

  • Make world-class burgers for people who think “keep it very red” or “ten slices of bacon but healthy” is a legitimate request for the kitchen. 

  • Dump your in-game wages into the in-game in-game shop to unlock heroes, upgrades, and deeply cursed power spikes.

  • Build devastating turn-based party synergies by generating Charges and unleashing Ultimates to steamroll your opponents.

  • Survive a shifting Dungeon packed with zombie plagues, vampiric monsters, airborne horrors, and whatever the in-game balance team accidentally shipped this week.

  • Unlock Talents, artifacts, and other dopamine delivery systems carefully engineered to exploit your lack of impulse control.

Grind. Simp. Donate. 

Time and money are a social construct anyways.    

See you in the Dungeon, pin-seeker.

System Requirements

Windows
macOS
    Minimum:
    • OS: Windows 10
    • Processor: Intel Core i3-6100 / AMD FX-6300 or equivalent
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integrated graphics with OpenGL 3.0 support
    • Storage: 1 GB available space
    • Sound Card: Any
    • Additional Notes: 64-bit system recommended
    Recommended:
    • OS: Windows 10/11
    • Processor: Intel Core i5-8400 / AMD Ryzen 3 1200 or better
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Dedicated or modern integrated GPU with OpenGL 3.0+ support
    • Storage: 1 GB available space
    • Sound Card: Any
    Minimum:
    • OS: macOS 10.15 Catalina
    • Processor: Intel Core i3 or Apple Silicon
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 3.0-compatible graphics
    • Storage: 1 GB available space
    • Sound Card: Any
    Recommended:
    • OS: macOS 12 Monterey or later
    • Processor: Intel Core i5 or Apple Silicon
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Modern integrated or dedicated graphics
    • Storage: 1 GB available space
    • Sound Card: Any
* Starting February 15, 2024, the Steam Client will no longer support 32-bit games or macOS 10.14 or lower.
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