This isn’t a game. It’s a vertical meltdown disguised as one. Climb as a gripless goblin in the most unforgiving platformer of the decade.
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May 23, 2025
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Early Access Game

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Note: Games in Early Access are not complete and may or may not change further. If you are not excited to play this game in its current state, then you should wait to see if the game progresses further in development. Learn more

What the developers have to say:

Why Early Access?

“We want players to suffer with us. Early Access lets us gather feedback, balance frustration levels, and refine mechanics while adding more content and features. It’s a perfect fit for a game built around trial, error, and chaos.”

Approximately how long will this game be in Early Access?

“As long as it takes to flesh out the pain. We don’t have a set end date. We’ll launch 1.0 when it’s cooked, cursed, and complete. (Realistically, 1-2 years. No promises though.)”

How is the full version planned to differ from the Early Access version?

“We plan to introduce a second climbable map, wearable goblin items, and more environmental variety. We plan to add additional lore, secrets, and quality-of-life improvements. The core experience is planned to remain brutally intact.”

What is the current state of the Early Access version?

“Fully playable with a complete vertical map, two goblins with unique movement, and our signature “no mercy” gameplay loop. It’s very climbable. It’s very fallable.”

Will the game be priced differently during and after Early Access?

“We will gradually raise the price as we add new maps and features. Early climbers get the best deal. (No crazy pricing though. Indie game prices! We aren't pirates, just goblins.)”

How are you planning on involving the Community in your development process?

“We’ll be listening closely on Discord and Steam forums. Feedback on pain points (literally) helps us tweak mechanics and design future content. If something feels unfair… tell us. If it feels too unfair… we’ll consider making it worse.”
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About This Game

About

The Goblin Game is an unforgiving rage-platformer where your only goal is to go up, and the world wants nothing more than to drag you back down.
Play as a miserable goblin scaling the cursed cave system known as The Crag. There are no checkpoints and no safety nets. Every jump matters. Every fall is punishment. Progress is a test of patience, precision, and sheer stubbornness.

If you fall, you start again.
If you scream, you’re doing it right.

Features:

  • Two Playable Goblins
    Choose between Fritz the Fizzlewump, nimble, twitchy, and barely competent, or Blort the Bloat, a lumbering abomination who turns basic locomotion into an act of war against common sense. Controlling Blort feels like steering a fridge full of soup off a cliff. Every jump is an argument. Every landing is a miracle. He doesn't move. He collides with the concept of movement.

  • Handcrafted Vertical Level Design
    Climb through a single-shot, hand-sculpted nightmare full of precarious ledges, rickety goblin bridges, and physics-defying rocks. No loading zones. Just one continuous climb. One slip and it's a long way down.

  • Brutal, No-Mercy Philosophy
    There are no saves. No midpoints. Every mistake has consequences. Every fall is final. It’s not just a challenge, it’s a gauntlet of suffering disguised as a game. You’ve been warned.

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10/11
    • Processor: Intel i5-7500 / AMD Ryzen 3 1200
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: NVIDIA GTX 970 / AMD RX 570
    • DirectX: Version 12
    • Storage: 3 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: SSD Recommended
    Recommended:
    • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
    • OS: Windows 10/11
    • Processor: Intel i5-10400F / AMD Ryzen 5 3600
    • Memory: 16 GB RAM
    • Graphics: NVIDIA RTX 2060 / AMD RX 6600
    • DirectX: Version 12
    • Storage: 3 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: SSD Recommended

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