About This Game

Strap yourself into your kayak and prepare for a battle against a mountain that refuses to be conquered by paddle power alone. This isn't a leisurely stroll; it's a grueling test of skill, determination, and your tolerance for repeated failure.

Fight against gravity, your own limitations, and the surprising currents that carve through this unforgiving peak.

Forget logic. Forget your legs. All you have is your kayak, your paddle, and an almost pathological need to reach the summit.

Features

• Unforgivingly Realistic (and Ridiculous) Physics: Prepare for a paddling experience that will leave you questioning reality.

• Golden Fish Collector: Test your mettle by finding and collecting all the hidden golden fish scattered across each level.

• Time Trial and Collectible Tracking: Monitor your best ascent times and your golden fish collection with a convenient in-game toggle.

• Rage-Inducing Satisfaction: Every hard-earned inch is a testament to your stubbornness. Every fall will fuel your burning desire to try again.

• Unique Level Design: From icy slopes to eerie landscapes and breathtaking vistas.

• Push Your Limits in Challenge Mode: Stripped down and relentlessly difficult. Only for the truly masochistic paddler.

• No Enemies, Just Obstacles (Mostly Gravity): The mountain itself is your adversary. Don't underestimate it.

• Upper Body Strength Required (Sanity Optional): Prepare for a workout you won't soon forget.

• Navigate Treacherous Mountain Waterways: Paddle against the flow, dodging debris like logs, barrels, and other unexpected hazards. Wait, was that a piano!??
  
  
  

  
  
  

A Message from the Developers

Inspired by Getting Over It, Get to Work, and A Difficult Game About Climbing, and born from our own love of a good challenge, Kayaks Don’t Climb is a testament to the rewarding nature of struggle.

This game is designed to test your patience, your control, and your ability to laugh in the face of repeated failure. It's about the persistence it takes to overcome the seemingly insurmountable.

So grab your paddle, embrace the pain, and prepare to defy the impossible!