Αγορά: Where is the Tutorial

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Brief introduction

Are you tired of easy, satisfying games, that make you feel complete and at peace with yourself? Here at Olympic Hamster & Co. have found a simple solution to your non-existing problem.

We put together a game, removed every single instruction that the player would actually need to comprehend the actual objectives and directions, and presented it right to you. Have a great time with paper made npc's while figuring out the rules to beat every level, each more difficult and complex than the last one.



Of course, here I could talk about the gameplay, but come on, that would go against the main selling point of the game. But then again, I need to present something to any potential customers... With this dilemma I have decided to go for the most ambiguous description one could ever imagine: have fun stopping individuals from completing their objectives before you can complete yours, while a countdown clock slowly comes closer to zero!

Small talk aside,

In Where is the Tutorial you will be able to find individual character stories, all of them connected in one main scenario that you can freely explore while figuring out the game's play style. There is no definite answer, so you can manage your limited time however you would like and still get to the next level while feeling proud of your accomplishments. Still, be on the lookout for hidden patterns as they might come in handy in order to beat consistently the levels.

I hope this helps you get a positive first impression of a game where I need to say as little as possible in order to maintain the game experience fresh and new for every player.

*I advise taking the next paragraphs more as a promotional joke, as they provide little to zero information about the actual game, for the reasons stated before

Pros to buying the game

Maybe the brief introduction was not sufficient, but don't worry, I also felt something missing. So instead I decided to go for a more in depth analysis to get you trying out this masterpiece.

• You can open the game (sometimes, if it feels like it)
  
• You can close the game (sometimes, if it feels like it)
  
• Surprisingly, you can adjust the volume WITHOUT changing your main computer volume
  
• There actually is a tutorial, at least on the title itself
  
• The game has a deep message about society that... *censored text* ...and turtles fly.

There is still not much info about the game isn't there? You know, probably you could check the achievements, but I got ahead and also made them quite unclear... So let me try doing reverse engineering.

Cons to buying the game

Here I will try to make clear the audience I DON'T WANT playing my game, which is also a key part of the game itself, as this way I will avoid negative reviews, and possibly inform interested players of things they don't mind when getting a new game.

• The characters are the only things in the game made out of paper (very delicate, handle them with care)
  
• You are going to be burning papers (I did not specify which papers you are destroying)
  
• This is not a con but remember water also makes the paper take damage
  
• Wow paper really sucks, like, it's the weakest material to ever be created
  
• And to top it off we use it everywhere, incredible

Okay now I feel confident. At least I made sure to say everything I wanted to pitch about this giant abomination (in which I definitely wasn't just lazy to create a tutorial).