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Ah, a Series 7 with the Syris upgrade, no less! Quite the marvel in the realm of mining units, if I do say so myself. But, allow me to introduce you to something equally, if not more, riveting. The crown jewel of simulations! But you knew that, my fine friend? That’s what brought you to my store!

Indeed, the rumors that have been circuiting are all true. Our world, believe it or not, was once inhabited by analog life forms of every imaginable kind! Astonishing, isn't it? Creatures that dwelled upon the terra firma, others that mastered the depths of the oceans, and—according to the latest research by the Compendium—species that soared through the skies! Anti gravity! In an analog create! Amazing!

But their world was a harsh one. Prey, a term foreign to us, was integral to their existence, signifying their primal needs of survival. Can you imagine it? The notion of consuming one another for sustenance? Picture the sheer barbarism of an entity approaching you, detaching a limb, and then proceeding to consume it as you watch! It's a reality far beyond our comprehension, yet it's the foundation of the simulation we have crafted.

Can you imagine how these creatures would have described their own world? Oh, of course I'm not suggesting that HU-man had language, but just follow me for a moment. Would they have described their live as a dungeon crawler? Would they have pointed out the isometric 3rd person view? Maybe they would have talked about the infinite challenges with procedurally generated dungeons? The combat? Magic? Sacrificial altars?

Only one way to find out, my friend! Embark on a journey where you embody one of these HU-man creatures! You will start in the depths of a dungeon, just like they did! There, you will be as vulnerable as they once were, bare and unarmed, but with the potential to grow stronger, discover treasures, and confront adversaries until, fortune permitting, you face the ultimate challenge: a boss.

Ah, the bosses. Formidable adversaries that lurk in the shadows, feisty, fearsome! Yet, against all odds, HU-mans ventured forth, day after day, driven by the dual quests for sustenance and riches! It's an experience so profound, so immersive, that a simple description from the Compendium will not suffice! It must be lived to be fully grasped.

And the cherry atop this digital perfection? The Compendium accompanies you at every turn, offering real-time insights into your surroundings, an interactive guide through this analog odyssey. We indeed live in a wondrous era, my friend.

For a mere 304 credits, this entire odyssey can be yours. Please, make your way to the queue there, your wait will be brief. A momentary surge is part of the transition process, but fear not, for it's entirely benign. Before you know it, you'll be reborn into the analog existence of a HU-man. What challenges will you encounter? What legacy will you leave behind in this bygone era?