Help Patchman rescue the Sheeple from enslavement by the Drone army! But... who is Patchman, and why shouldn't you be him? Find out in the game THEY don't want you to play!
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Release Date:
Oct 19, 2017

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SPECIAL PROMOTION! Offer ends October 26


Recent updates View all (12)

October 19


Launch is a go!!

But you are Patchman. So how do you stop being him? We can think of one way...

We've built, played, battered, and finalized the first episode of the game. Twenty Steam Achievements are ready to be collected, we're running a Leaderboard contest, you can start collecting the comic book, and begin figuring out the mystery of why YOU shouldn't be Patchman. Who? Well, come along with us and find out. We have so much to show you... epic plot twists, mind-blowing themes, and all that.

Later, when we add more episodes, this Steam package will contain them for FREE! I must apologize as the budget behind this game is tiny and as such the technical visual quality isn't as amazing as your average game is expected to these days. But what we lack in tech we made up for in clever gameplay and unique story!

You can enter our leaderboard contest to win a coffee mug just by playing on Steam, but we'll have one more never-done-before contest announced next week. It should be a doozy!

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September 18



At the end of the year we'll be sending out Championship Coffee Mugs to the top players on our Steam leaderboards! We'll take a snapshot of the best scores at the end of each year, post them, and if you're on it you'll just need to contact us to claim your mug by sending us your mailing address. We hope to run the same contest every year.

For the best scores, and to be logged on Fastest Time boards, we advise playing on HARD difficulty mode.

You can see full information about the contest here:


We've added 6 trading cards to the game! The first five feature Patchman fighting one of the bosses in the game, while the final card is a special rare victory card showing Patchman on top of a pile of broken drones. In this card Patchman has all the power, as he holds the hoe, the most useful gardening tool, and in the other hand he holds the comic book, so he knows the truth...

We want to show them off but then that would spoil the fun of collecting them!
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About This Game

The Sheeple are in trouble - they've been enslaved by the Drones - and it's all Patchman's fault! Now it's up to you to redeem Patchman, rescue the Sheeple, and uncover the awful secret behind the Drone army. Stay out of sight, wear clever disguises, search the forest for seeds, grow fruits and plants, tear down propaganda, awaken the Sheeple to break the control scheme, and power down those nasty robots! Featuring gaming's first anti-anti hero: Patchman, who you are, but aren't supposed to be! Make sense?

All that and more awaits in Don't Be Patchman, a sneak-and-grow adventure featuring realtime isometric action, procedural generation, colorful pixel art, disruptable economic system, stealth mechanics, farming combat, advanced enemy ai, tower defense, collectible comic book with epic plot twists, and more! Patchman vs. Red Circles is the complete standalone first episode of this game, but this package will also contain all future episodes as free add-ons!

Available now on SteamOS / Linux, Windows and Mac OSX. Includes Steam Achievements, Leaderboards, and Trading Cards! Playable with a gamepad, Steam controller, mouse+keyboard, or solo keyboard.

So... who is Patchman and why shouldn't you be him? Find out in the game THEY don't want you to play!

System Requirements

Mac OS X
SteamOS + Linux
    • OS: Windows 7 and up
    • Processor: 4.0+ GHz Quad Core or better
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 640 series or higher, equivalent Radeon or Intel or higher
    • DirectX: Version 9.0c
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: 100% DirectX9.0c compatible sound card and drivers
    • Additional Notes: A decent high-powered machine is required to run this software at 60 FPS.
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Storage: 500 MB available space
    • OS: 10.8.5 (Mountain Lion)
    • Processor: 2.0 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo (Dual-Core)
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 610M or higher, or Radeon 8400 or higher, or Intel HD 4000 or higher
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Required
    • OS: Ubuntu 12.04/14.04 LTS 64-bit
    • Processor: 2.0+ GHz Dual Core or better
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 610M or higher, or Radeon 8400 or higher, or Intel HD 4000 or higher
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Required
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