Who is Patchman and why shouldn't you be him? Find out in the game THEY don't want you to play!
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Release Date: Mar 1, 2017

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Early Access Game

Get instant access and start playing; get involved with this game as it develops.

Note: This Early Access game is not complete and may or may not change further. If you are not excited to play this game in its current state, then you should wait to see if the game progresses further in development. Learn more

What the developers have to say:

Why Early Access?

“We have a lot of ideas packed into this game, and a lot of ideas yet to implement! We want player input to mold and shape this into something radical! Which ideas should we pursue/drop? We'll know when you start playing and telling us what works and what doesn't.”

Approximately how long will this game be in Early Access?

“Six months minimum.”

How is the full version planned to differ from the Early Access version?

“The full version will have approximately twenty levels and four bosses. We have the first five levels and first boss ready for you now. We also have yet to add in decent sound effects, graphical effects, and more, so come along for the ride to see this stuff added in!”

What is the current state of the Early Access version?

“We have the core game ready to play, including five levels and a boss. Most of the levels are long, challenging, and complex, so you will probably not beat them right away. WARNING: there are a few things in the crowdfunding trailer that AREN'T yet in the game, but there are some things in the game that AREN'T in the trailer!”

Will the game be priced differently during and after Early Access?

“We haven't confirmed the final pricing, but it will likely be the same.”

How are you planning on involving the Community in your development process?

“We will have forums where users can chime in on what features need adding and what direction new levels should take. And, of course, bug fixes...”
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Recent updates View all (10)

July 6


After a lot of debate, we've made a significant change to our game mechanics. The hoe, shovel, and axe have all been modified and placed in different levels. Why? Part of the reason is that the hoe was always supposed to be the most powerful tool, the goto for Patchman, but it turned out the shovel became by far the best tool to take with you from the shack.


Hoe - Removes low plants from the ground/soil
Shovel - Digs new soil
Axe - Removes larger plants from the ground/soil


Axe - Removes most plants and bushes
Hoe - Creates new soil from grassy tiles
Shovel - Digs near water and rivers to expand them

This new setup gives a broader range of actions Patchman can do!

The unfortunate part is that now you get the Axe first, and that seems a bit out of place, not getting the Hoe until the Sheeple Rush level. Also, the Axe is misleading because players tend to think it can be used to attack Drones or Sheeple... but it's really not meant to do that. So we may even at some point replace the Axe with a less "offensive" tool.


All the tools still need more balancing. The hoe is a bit overpowerful, so we are thinking of ways to tone it down a bit. The overpower doesn't really make the game way easier, just slower. If you can hoe unlimited soil and grow too many plants, the simulation will just slow down. So we want to have a way to limit that, whether it's weeds or grass that overgrow your extra soil, or something else...
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February 24


I am very proud to announce the release of DON'T BE PATCHMAN: EPISODE ONE.

What is Episode One? There weren't any episodes before! Well, the game has grown too big, so now there are episodes. Each island is an episode. The first island is Episode One, it's the forest island with Red Drones and the Circle Boss, plus Granny and the House Sheeple. It contains four comic book pages to collect, each with it's own music. There are ten levels, some of them are quite complex. The last level, the circle boss level, has a NEW surprise ending when you beat it!

There are a TON of new features in this release. Procedural generation is a big one! Level Nine is a drone factory maze that changes every time you play it. Many of the levels have what I call "partial" procedural generation, the level as a whole "feels" the same every time you play, but a lot of things are moved around each time, creating a unique experience for every player. Other features that are new include story dialogs, effects level setting, shack menu, swarm levels, drone sight scanners, orange prediction power, poster counts, new music and sound, drone garages, destructive beam machines, shovel tool, stomach UI, joystick hints, and more...

We will continue to provide each episode to our Steam players as part of this Early Access package. When all four islands are complete, it will be spun up into one big package and given a full and Final Release! Now that all the systems of the game are in place, we will be able to roll out the next islands quicker than the first one.

Today it has been released for Linux 64 bit. Linux 32 support has been removed due to Steam removal of that platform. Windows will be next, followed by OSX. We are happy to say we *finally* have a working OSX version! It only has a couple graphics glitches and isn't fully integrated into Steam yet, but worse case it won't have the Steam overlay to start, I'm working on it now tho.
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About This Game

The Sheeple are in trouble - they've been enslaved by the Drones - and it's all Patchman's fault! Now it's up to you to redeem Patchman, rescue the Sheeple, and uncover the awful secret behind the Drone army. Stay out of sight, wear clever disguises, search the forest for seeds, grow fruits and plants, tear down propaganda, awaken the Sheeple to break the control scheme, and power down those nasty robots!

All that and more awaits in Don't Be Patchman, a sneak-and-grow adventure featuring realtime isometric action.

Available now on SteamOS / Linux, Windows and Mac OSX.

Steam Achievements, Leaderboards, Trading Cards, either here or to come!

Play with a gamepad/joystick, Steam controller, mouse+keyboard, or solo keyboard.

System Requirements

Mac OS X
SteamOS + Linux
    • OS: Windows 7 and up
    • Processor: 4.0+ GHz Quad Core or better
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 640 series or higher, equivalent Radeon or Intel or higher
    • DirectX: Version 9.0c
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: 100% DirectX9.0c compatible sound card and drivers
    • Additional Notes: A decent high-powered machine is required to run this software at 60 FPS.
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Storage: 500 MB available space
    • OS: 10.8.5 (Mountain Lion)
    • Processor: 2.0 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo (Dual-Core)
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 610M or higher, or Radeon 8400 or higher, or Intel HD 4000 or higher
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Required
    • OS: Ubuntu 12.04/14.04 LTS 64-bit
    • Processor: 2.0+ GHz Dual Core or better
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: nVidia 610M or higher, or Radeon 8400 or higher, or Intel HD 4000 or higher
    • Storage: 350 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Required

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