Indulge Lady Tallowmere and see how far through her lovingly violent dungeons you can delve in this 2D indie action roguelike-inspired platformer. New rooms are procedurally generated every time you play. How far can you make it?
User reviews:
Very Positive (244 reviews) - 93% of the 244 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Mar 3, 2015

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August 26

Tallowmere v340: Looking for translators

Lady Tallowmere is looking for translators

Tallowmere v340 Beta is now available on the beta branch, and is ready to read translated language files. This uses a new version of Unity, and adds support for future languages.

If you would like to translate Tallowmere to your language, please click here for instructions.


Completed languages:
  • English (written by Chris McFarland)
Translations in progress:
  • Finnish / Suomi (being translated by Olli-Samuli Lehmus)
  • Italian / Italiano (being translated by Luca Pattarini)
  • Portuguese-Brazil / Português-Brasil (being translated by DH.)
  • Slovenian / Slovenski jezik (being translated by Alen Korez)
  • Spanish / Español (being translated by Jose M. Gaspar)
  • Turkish / Türkçe (being translated by Arda Özkal)
Future languages:

v340 Beta Changelog

25 August 2016 – Version 340 Beta 1a
  • Tallowmere is now built with Unity 5.4.0f3.
  • Added support for multiple languages.
  • Added a slight glow around each Acid Trap.
  • Fixed screen tearing on Ubuntu/Linux.

27 August 2016 – Version 340 Beta 2
  • Converted the Tips & Tricks section to read data from local langauge files instead of requesting a file from Tallowmere's web server.
  • Added translator names within the Options > Language section.
  • Optimised the High Scores GUI column headers for translation.

29 August 2016 - Version 340 Beta 3
  • Added strings and definitions for several future languages.

1 comments Read more

April 1

Tallowmere v334.x: The Shrining

Fire, ice, and everything nice. Lady Tallowmere has delivered 6 new shrines to her dungeon for you to discover.

The Shrine Update

Most rooms now have a 30% chance to contain a shrine, with a smaller chance that two shrines may appear. Shrines won't appear in boss rooms.

Shrine Types
  • Shrine of Power
    Applies a double damage effect to your weapons. Lasts 60 seconds.

  • Shrine of Swiftness
    Increases your movement speed. Lasts 60 seconds.

  • Shrine of Wealth
    Grants extra coins from enemies. Lasts 60 seconds.

  • Shrine of Regeneration
    Grants you increased health regeneration. Lasts 60 seconds.

  • Shrine of Chilling
    Gives your weapons an icy touch. Lasts 60 seconds.

  • Shrine of Fire
    Ignites your weapons with fire. Lasts 60 seconds.
Activating a shrine will apply a visual effect to your hero and/or weapons for the duration.

Fiery Ice Wands? Icy Katanas? Double Damage Rocket Launchers? The power can be yours – if you're lucky.

Other Changes
  • Bloats and Zaeries that are chilled when they die will now chill nearby enemies that are hit in their death explosion.

  • Bloats and Zaeries that are on fire when they die will now ignite nearby enemies that are hit in their death explosion.

  • Fixed an audio issue that could cause the game to lag the longer you played.

Dev Console Commands

If you'd like to cheat and spawn a shrine immediately, you can open the Dev Console by pressing the ~ key and type:
spawn double damage shrine
spawn haste shrine
spawn wealth shrine
spawn health regen shrine
spawn cold shrine
spawn fire shrine

Monthly Leaderboard

Good luck!

Minor Updates

8 April 2016 – Version 334.1
  • Manually selecting an Xbox or PlayStation controller from the Device Types list no longer automatically sets Automatic Device Selection to On.

  • Fixed Nvidia Shield controller not working correctly on Windows 8.1.

  • Added Dev Console command: show controller names

15 April 2016 – Version 334.2 (Android DLC)
  • Android: Enabled the 32-bit Display Buffer to resolve black screen issues on certain devices.

2 May 2016 – Version 334.3

5 May 2016 – Version 334.4 (Android DLC)
  • Android: Added support for the GameSir G3w controller.

  • Android: Added support for the Mad Catz C.T.R.L.R controller.

7 May 2016 – Version 334.5 (Android DLC)
  • OpenGL ES 2.0 is now the minimum requirement instead of OpenGL ES 3.0.

  • Changed the default texture compression to ETC instead of ETC2.
These changes should resolve the pink screen issue some users were having.

8 May 2016 – Version 334.6 (Android DLC)
  • Android: Added support for the IPEGA PG-9025 controller.

1 June 2016 – Version 334.7
  • The leaderboard for June 2016 is now live.

  • Improved Feeler AI to ensure they keep flying around.

  • Fixed music tracks not looping in certain event rooms.

1 July 2016 – Version 334.11
  • The leaderboard for July 2016 is now live.

  • Added an option to disable blood. Available under Main Menu > Game Options > Blood.

  • Android DLC: Added Static Movement buttons as an optional movement type. Available under Main Menu > Options > Input Options > Movement Type.

  • Android DLC: Added support for PlayStation 4 controller for Sony Xperia Z5 via Bluetooth.

3 July 2016 – Version 334.12
  • Fixed an audio crackling issue from 334.11.

1 August 2016 – Version 334.13
  • The monthly leaderboard for August 2016 is now live.

  • Adjusted Tallowmere's code to not require a whole new build and version each month for the monthly leaderboards. Monthly leaderboards will still continue, but version numbers will not need to be increased each month (unless there's something else that has been updated). I will continue to post leaderboard links in the announcements.

5 comments Read more


“Tallowmere is the only Rogue-like platformer I know that contains a rocket launcher. With a shield that can absorb attacks, infinite jump capabilities, and kittens you can sacrifice for extra health, the game brings forth unique mechanics that make what would otherwise be a typical dungeon-crawler, exciting and fun.”
4.5/5 – Indie Game Reviewer

“McFarland made the grand slam decision to implement co-op into the game. This brings Tallowmere out of the generic dungeon roamer category and into a hilarious adventure to share with up to three friends in local co-op.”
8.5/10 – APG Nation

About This Game

Indulge Lady Tallowmere and see how far through her lovingly violent dungeons you can delve in this 2D indie action roguelike-inspired platformer. New rooms are procedurally generated every time you play, meaning you'll have to be on your guard for every randomly-placed enemy, elite, boss, and treasure chest you'll come across.

Each room gets progressively bigger, harder, and more rewarding the further you go.

The concept is simple yet hard to master:

  • Raise your shield to block enemy attacks.
  • Lower your shield and strike your foes when the timing is right.
  • Jump or move to avoid traps, or use your shield to reduce damage taken.
  • Find the key to advance to the next room.
  • Collect weapons, outfits, headgear, and shields of various rarities to aid your journey.
  • Turn in souls from slain enemies to increase your base stats and passive abilities.
  • Stay alive as long as you can!

Brace yourself as you learn the quirks of each foe, trap, and room type so you can strive for that "one more run" high-score victory! Each dungeon is infinite in length so it's up to you to push your limits; local scoreboards and online leaderboards let you track your greatest efforts.

Available for Windows, Mac OS X, and Linux. Play with keyboard (and optionally mouse), or use your favourite gamepad/controller.

Tallowmere offers single-player and local co-op madness (up to 4 players) for fun frantic couch gaming.

Key Features:

✓ Action roguelite platformer with randomly-generated levels, each room bigger than the last
✓ Wreak havoc with trusty axes, hefty clubs, teleporting katanas, stealth-enabling emerald daggers, freezing ice wands, bouncing grenades, embroiling flamethrowers, and powerful rocket launchers
✓ Find and equip outfits, headgear, shields, and more
✓ Hunt for power with 7 tiers of item rarities ranging from Basic to Otherworldly
✓ Learn to conquer multiple enemy types with elite variations, including fire mages, archers, leapers, conductors, ogres, flail knights, feelers, bloats, and zaeries
✓ Satisfying combat with persistent bloodsplats and gibs
✓ Tactical shield blocking
✓ Infinite jumping
✓ Deadly traps and obstacles to try and avoid, such as spinning pinwheels, acid clouds, and extremely pointy spikes
✓ Coins, hearts, souls, and keys to collect from slain foes
✓ Hardcore permadeath to keep your adrenaline going
✓ Treasure chests to loot
✓ Potions to keep you alive
✓ Special room events and bosses to master
✓ Passive abilities for you to gain strength and then some
✓ Coin-loving merchants
✓ Difficulty settings to match your pain threshold
✓ Challenge modes
✓ Combat/event log
✓ Soft savegame system (so you can quit and resume later) and personal high-score system with cross-platform Steam Cloud support
✓ Global Steam leaderboards for speedruns and bragging rights
✓ Sacrificial kittens
✓ Dev console for cheats

✓ Runs on Windows, Mac, and Linux
✓ Play single-player or local couch co-op (up to 4 players with 4 controllers sharing the same screen)
✓ Keyboard and mouse support
✓ Gamepad/controller support
✓ Independent game developer

You're not afraid... or are you?
To those who will be lured into Lady Tallowmere's dungeons: good luck.


Buy Tallowmere on Steam and get the Android port as a free DLC.

"Local Co-op" means you can connect up to 4 controllers and play with your friends in the same room sharing the same screen. Network/LAN co-op is not available.

System Requirements

Mac OS X
SteamOS + Linux
    • OS: Windows XP SP2 or newer
    • Processor: 2 GHz or faster; 32-bit or 64-bit
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Onboard or dedicated GPU; 256 MB RAM
    • DirectX: Version 9.0c
    • Storage: 300 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Onboard or better
    • Additional Notes: Play with keyboard (and optionally mouse), or use a controller. Successfully tested with Xbox 360, PS3, PS4, and Steam Controllers. XInput may need to be toggled in-game in some cases.
    • OS: Windows 7 or newer
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.8 or higher
    • Processor: 2 GHz or faster; 32-bit or 64-bit
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Onboard or dedicated GPU; 256 MB RAM
    • Storage: 300 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Onboard or better
    • Additional Notes: Play with keyboard (and optionally mouse), or use a controller. Successfully tested with Xbox 360, PS3, and PS4 controllers.
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.10 or higher
    • OS: SteamOS, Ubuntu 12.04, or similar
    • Processor: 2 GHz or faster; 32-bit or 64-bit
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Onboard or dedicated GPU; 256 MB RAM
    • Storage: 300 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Onboard or better
    • Additional Notes: Play with keyboard (and optionally mouse), or use a controller. Successfully tested with Xbox 360, PS3, and PS4 controllers.
Customer reviews
Customer Review system updated! Learn more
Very Positive (244 reviews)
Recently Posted
7.8 hrs
Posted: August 29
Excellent Roguelike.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.8 hrs
Posted: August 28
It's a very simple roguelike/action platformer game. Move left and right with A and D. Space bar jumps. You can jump unlimited times, eseentially flying. Arrow keys attack/use potion, block, and switch items. Most of the interesting parts of the game come from the different weapons, and outfitting yourself not only in the best gear possible, but also the best gear suited to the weapon you are using.

The axe is just a simple swing away at your enemy weapon.
The club is similar, but hits harder, and if you're "flying" around, it will send you downwards due to the force of the slam.
The katana teleports you around directly near to enemies with every slash. It is extremely dangerous to both yourself, and your enemies, but it's fun.
The dagger stealths you, and with each swing it makes you jump forwards a few feet. In addition, if you strike from behind, the enemy is pretty much done for.
Rocket launchers have auto-aim, and explosions that are dangerous to you as well as groups of enemies.
Flamethrowers: jets of flames, nuff said
Ice Wands have auto aim, and rapid fire, but you must stand still, and they only have medium range.

I think that's all the weapons. But each one besides the axe and the club are varied enough to give you different options of playing the game. There are probably around 10-15 different enemy types which is reasonable.

I wasn't blown away by the game, but I also wasn't disappointed. It's simple enough to easily get into a game, and not feel like it's going to take hours before all the secrets of the game are apparent. It's also not so simple that it's a negative. I feel like the game does what it set out to do, and is enjoyable. It may not be for everyone, but if you want a casual roguelike/action platformer where games can be very fast, and easily replayed quickly, this is your fix.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
5.8 hrs
Posted: July 23
Tallowmere is an okay game but really needs fixing. So to start it out they sometimes place enemies in an unfair way like these mosquito creatures will launch there tongues at you and if you get hit it brings you over them think of that happening to you except there are like 100000 other enemies attacking you at the same time. Yeah its not that fun thats the only problem I have with this game other wise I give it a 6/10 its an up to you thing.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
2.0 hrs
Posted: July 10
Given only the options of recommending or not recommending Tallowmere, I would lean toward the former, but very reluctantly. Tallowmere is not a "bad" game, but it is an extremely limited one in terms of scope and long-term playability. That may seem like a strange statement to make for a $5 game, granted, but it's not one made mindlessly. The core of rogue-like and rogue-lite experiences is, beyond any specific mechanics, largely down to two concepts: "differentiation between runs" and "core gameplay solid enough to encourage many runs".

Those two areas are crucial to any rogue-like or rogue-lite, and Tallowmere is rather lacking in both.

What the game does right:
  • Each of the eight weapon types play very differently, and encourage different approaches to areas and enemies.
  • The graphics, while rather primitive, are passable.
  • The few bosses that exist are a welcome reprieve from the usual suspects.
  • Allowing the player to alter the difficulty, either through additional health or more drastic (negative) modifiers at will was a strong design choice.
  • Finding different weapons and armor provides an incentive, however small, to keep playing.

What it does wrong:
  • There are very few enemy types, significantly reducing any sense of discovery through a run.
  • The environment around the player shifts things like stage hazards, but never changes significantly in appearance. Eventually, everything blurs together. "Hello, grey everything. No, no. You may have been in every room in the entire dungeon, but you're not boring. I just think maybe we should see other tilesets..."
  • There are no real goals to pursue other than "get to a farther, near-identical room, increasing your standing on functionally meaningless leaderboards".

The end result of all those design decisions is a game that I would not describe as "bad" so much as "bland". Tallowmere is mechanically decent, but hampered at every turn by its extremely limited scope of design. After a few runs, the lack of variety involved kills all motivation to continue playing.

So, do I recommend it? In comparison to other rogue-likes/rogue-lites on the market, absolutely not. In a general sense, still not really. If, however, you are content with a very limited experience, and merely want to kill an hour or two here and there? In that specific case, yes. Likewise, if "higher score" is all the gameplay motivation you need, Tallowmere has that covered.

For me, personally, it was not enough. Your mileage may vary.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.7 hrs
Posted: June 26
Product received for free
Helpful? Yes No Funny
4.2 hrs
Posted: June 26
Simple dungeon crawl game. I like how some weapons are better for one situation but could kill you if used in the wrong situation. Makes having multiple weapons not just fun to do but also a need to make it to the deeper levels of the dungeon.

There is room for improvement with the save system. I also would like to see the game expand into something with a real story and progression. Still for a casual game it is plenty fun.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Kim Jong Ugh
6.0 hrs
Posted: June 4
This game was... rather fun!
Ever since 2015 I wanted to put my hands on this one not just for looking interesting, but for the free android port, too. Now with all of the achievements gotten, I wanted to do a quick review over here. Now let's start!
Yes, the intro is short and not very informative, but I'm writing this at 12:28 AM, what are you expecting?

Actual review:

  • What is this game? Just what it advertises from its long-♥♥♥ trailer: a rogue-like platformer where you explore rocket launchers and shoot stuff with dungeons. Simple, yet... well nah, that's pretty simple, mate, pretty simple. Did I mention the trailer is unnecesarilly long?

  • The gameplay consists of a never-before seen elements before: platformers and rogue-likes. Never have I ever heard one of these combos before(coughSpelunkyRogueLegacyRiskofRaincough). With that out of the way, you esentially guide your hero through a never ending room generator, splicing/chopping/burning/booming your way to the top of your personal leaderboard. You also have a shield, which blocks damage from upfront and the interesting mechanic of infinite jumps. If this does not sound enjoyable enough, you can pretty much attack your foes at the speed of sound. That means god speed already. If this still did not leave your mouth watering, then we move to the next point.

  • While progressing through the game, you will need to upgrade yourself, and the loot you get will mark your run a LOT. The diversity in weapons is surpisingly big, not that I have the same thing to say about clothing, headgear and shields, but if I have to take some picks, if you haven't seen the trailer already, daggers that make you invisible, katanas that teleport you like a maniac and rocket launchers 'cuz why not.

    The weapons are the icing on the cake for me, as every start with different weapons makes you change the playstyle and I love that! Not only that, but as you progress from room to room, you will need some upgrades, and here come the tiers in play: from uncommon to other-wordly, these tiers offer the weapons and armor all sorts of different stats, from simple resistances to health on kill, health regen etc. What I do not like is the fact how all of these stats are the same for everything. What do I mean by this is like, sure you have this dagger that grants hp on kill, but this shirt does the same thing too. You can also have resistances on the dagger and increased damage on the shirt, makes no sense. At all. In my opinion this was outright lazy, but hey, it's stackable, so I don't really brag too much on it. Just throwing my 2 cents in there.

  • Moving on to the enemies, all I can say is "few, but diverse enough".

    A problem I seem to keep stumbling on in rogue-likes is the amount of powers the mobs have. For some examples are being how many reskined stats chasing enemies you can encounter, ranging from low health chasing enemy to high hp chasing enemy. That kind of problem is only to blame on the devs' lack of ideas, and that's not a thing we have to be ashamed of, we all run out of original concepts at some point, yet creativity is always replenishable(in most cases anyway). Back to Tallowmere, the enemies here are well designed, ranging from simple archers to huge ugly insects that catch you with your tongue and drag you half a kilometer to it and their thousand of friends below them. Heh.

    There is a catch here though, and that is some of the room generations. The RNG in this game is to make rooms with either a lot of nothingness or a lot of corridors and blocks, and some of the enemy placements can outright ♥♥♥♥ you up, and not having corresponsive loot, you can wave that run goodbye. While you can still be very resistant to normal enemies, the champion ones are dangerous and a high priority target in your eyes at all time. These guys are normal enemies that glow red, are a bit bigger in size and deal more damage coming up with a x10 on their health bar, too. If there is one thing that can end your run in this game, it's these guys, and let me tell you, some champions are terrifying(leapers beware ;-;).

    There are also bosses in this game, and what can I say? Use the shield a lot and just spam the rocket launcher and GG.

  • The lobby might not seem the most interesting of areas, but many things can happen here, such as:
    -Challenges! One suited fellow will like to get you on a wild ride of "x weapon" only runs or even some disabled stats.
    -Challenges of death! These aren't necesarilly challenges on their own, but they do affect your normal runs, which include no hp regening(ever), less damage, more enemies, more champions etc.
    -Kitty cats! If you suck at the game, you can take one of these cute kitties on your journey to wonderland! Just kidding, you take them out and gut them to death. But hey, you get +10 hp for every kitty slain! You sick ♥♥♥♥.
    -And lastly, Lady Tallowmere! She is a more interesting character, as if you have the chance, you can go back to her when hurt and she will fully heal you. I say interesting, as a lot of rogue-likes tend to be tough as balls, with random health drops and what not, but having the opportunity to leave your enemies as damaged as they are and you to return with full strength is just lovely in my eyes, I really enjoyed this concept, and I still do.

    tl;dr This was a quite short review, if you read this first you're a lazy person. But, let's say you're in a hurry for some reason and you want the verdict: Tallowmere is a game that gave me what I expected, and that is what it advertised. While some room generations can be a real downer and the game is played pretty slowly, each particular weapon feels fantastic to use, the item effects can turn tides and I can't stop smiling from using the rocket launcher. Ah, yes, I forgot to add the fact how you can shoot a rocket launcher at the speed of sonic. It is not satisfying, but very satisfying. Overall, Tallowmere gets an 8.5/10 from me. Perhaps it'll go to to a 9 once I try the android version, which I cannot wait, but for now I can't say I regret buying this game at full price, and I recommend both casual and hardcore parties on getting this whenever possible.

    This has been your random reviewer, signing off, and have a nice day! Or night or whatever, I just want to sleep now. Anyways, good bye!
Helpful? Yes No Funny
3.3 hrs
Posted: May 8
Can you make it to room 10 without dieing? most likely not!! unless you sacrifice baby kittens to make the difficulty easier. really who comes up with this stuff.the game is allot of fun and hard to put down.Like rocket league easy to learn hard to master.Dont play this game around your kids.Its very bloody.Mechanics are very good.You can jump in mid air as many times as you want.A basic game but complictated at the same time.Weapons are allot of fun.Did somebody say ROCKET LAUNCHERS!!.All in all give it a try.Its a good game to have in your library.Great game to just pick up and play with little time.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Abyss Raider
12.2 hrs
Posted: May 6
The best way to describe it is simply like many others have been: A roguelike platformer. You run through procedurally generated dungeon rooms one by one, slaying the enemies to drop a key to the next room. It sounds simple enough, but it gets very intense the more you go in. The game can quickly run from walk-in-the-park to hair-pulling difficult in the time of one room change, and when you die... You're dead for good, having to start over from square one. One of the really neat things I've seen in this game is how the random generation doesn't apply only to items/equipment and the dungeon rooms themselves, but also to the objectives. In one playthrough, the 7th floor required me to slay the mighty Hydra, while the second runthrough I was asked to retrieve Lady Tallowmere's flag. This is a really nice thought by the dev, as it keeps it more interesting in terms of what you have to accomplish to advance throughout Tallowmere's brutish dungeon. This is a very fun game that has hours upon hours of playability in it, and I'd recommend it to anyone who loves Rogue-likes, Rogue-lites, and Metroidvania-style RPGs. Although at times it can feel a little frustrating, you'll quickly notice the fun factor easily overshadows these moments.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
32.5 hrs
Posted: May 6
A charming roguelike side scroller. While the setting is not new for roguelikes (fantasy dungeon), the sidescrolling and action/platforming aspects are.

I guess the RPG and grenades are kind of out of the ordinary for roguelikes too. Whatever.

Highly recommended.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
70 of 73 people (96%) found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
33.2 hrs on record
Posted: March 4, 2015
Ok, I played about 5 or 6 lives as soon as it installed then had a break to compose myself... after 30 mins or so I was like "I need to get past level 5" so I jumped back in for another frantic axe whacking rampage. Then my goal was to conquer the double digits which is when I started realising that approaching enemies with a little more tact goes a long way.

Positive thoughts so far (from a laymans perspective):

Replay value! The randomly generated levels and loot provide a different challenge each time
which means no muscle memory re-runs. It also leads me to...

Random Loot! As a Diablo 1 fan this will win me over every single time. That little chance of acquiring something godlike and turning the local sprites into a fine red mist is a feeling that can never be surpassed - even if only for a couple of levels.

Hectic weapons! Ok, i'll admit it... curiousity and repeated deaths on my part killed the cat: Sarcrificing all the kittens and going god mode early on has proven enormously entertaining - especially with a suped up katana. Teleporting wildly throughout the level hammering the ♥♥♥♥ out of Mouse 1 and leaving explosions of red pixels in your wake is enormously entertaining.
But don't get carried away - in the mid teen levels even 100HP won't keep you safe if you're too reckless which leads me to...

It's challenging! Particularly if you let those purple shooty ogres stun you - so watch out for them because they'll end your streak in a matter of seconds - especially if you encounter a special room.

It's intuitive: Ok there's a starting room that basically spells everything out for new players if they wish plus a comprehensive help menu BUT if one doesn't want their hand held then the basics are there from the get-go: "you have an axe", "you have a shield", "there's an enemy", proceed... and it builds up very naturally introducing you to new obstacles, enemies and bonuses without any Office Assistant type interruptions.

A couple of constructive criticisms:

In the future it would be great to see new wall textures. I'm down with the pixel-gritty style of the whole game but I feel the large, repeating block textures used to make the walls let the atmosphere down a bit - particularly as the game progresses and there's no variation. These contrast quite strongly with the detailed sprites, effects and background wall textures.

I'm on the fence with the music - in some ways I want it to be more atmospheric and dark to match the dungeon crawler theme but at the same time it definitely fits the slightly retro art style, hectic combat and humour. I think a happy impasse would be to introduce a wider selection of background beats and ambience in the future - perhaps with event cues - eg hydra music. Maybe some music that creates a stronger emotional response from the player... get that "awww ♥♥♥♥" feeling going on....

The combat is actually pretty good responsively - when I go wild with the axe it feels like it's connecting with an enemy as I click the mouse - especially when they 'splode - BUT perhaps there's room to make killing blows feel more satisfying? Get the "Crit Crunch" effect or something similar to really make it feel like you've katana'd an elf so hard she created a sonic boom? I remember this being enormously satisfying in Baldurs Gate.

(bear in mind i've only played as far as level 15 - we will probably all look back on this post at level XXXXX in the future and shake our heads at how naivie this sweet summer child was to what awaited him.)

Wow - that was way longer than I was planning - a fridge full of vodka and ginger ale leads to a night of tireless typing.

Anyways - fantastic work, I would certainly recommend it to any curious readers - the price is a steal and the gameplay makes up for any graphical reservations anyone might have a thousand fold.

Looking forward to seeing what develops in the future!
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
31 of 33 people (94%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
4.3 hrs on record
Posted: March 8, 2015
Yeouch. On the surface the game looks fairly simple. Mash the attack key when you're in someones face, block when neccessary, dont stand on spikes or in fire. Try not to sacrifice the kittens.

My key advice? Block. Block all day. Block like your life depended on it - it does. Also, don't go overboard on the Katana - it'll get you into trouble.

Very enjoyable game, my new go-to when I feel like packing half a dozen frustrating deaths into a 15 minute break.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
31 of 41 people (76%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
1.6 hrs on record
Posted: March 4, 2015
This is why you don't judge a game by it's cover art.

Don't want to read all of this text? Check out my video review!

_Game plays really really well: The combat is really satisfying because your character attacks as quickly as you tap the button. Jumping is floaty but you can do it indeffinitely (so it's like your character just have a jetpack on all the time). Blocking is instantanious and feels precise. Overall, this game plays like a dream.
_Good sounds: Music is barren but manage to never feel repetitive or annoying. The "voices" (which are just made up of random tones, kind of like Animal Crossing's voices) are also really charming.
_Random rooms: Every room is randomly generated. So if you're into that, then you're into that.
_Great weapons: The weapons aren't just reskins. Every type of weapon you pick up alter the way you play the game rather drastically. For example, picking up the Katana will allow you to teleport to enemies when you attack.

_Looks kinda bad: if you just judge this game on screenshots alone, you won't want it. The game looks bad, especially the environment. Animation is bare-boned as well, but that might be there to highlight the responsiveness of your attacks.

_You can sacrifice kittens to gain health. Yup. You can do that.

Overall, you'll like this game if:
_You like 2D sidescroller that focuses more on combat than platforming.
_You like Rogue-likes.
_You can look pass the janky graphics.

Is it worth $15? It absolutely is worth 15 bucks. Wait, what do you mean it's only $5? IT'S 5 BUCKS? WHY AREN'T YOU BUYING IT ALREADY?

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24 of 30 people (80%) found this review helpful
10 people found this review funny
3.7 hrs on record
Posted: March 7, 2015
This is another rogue-like. However, unlike many other roguelike games, there's no handholding, there's no carry-over of skills, it's just, "Here's the dungeon, Tiger. Go get 'em."

While there's a bunch of random events (which seem to be tiered, as in only certain events spawn after a certain number of levels), there's not much to it, after that. It's the same enemies, the same completely random drops, the same walls even - but the gameplay is just so good that none of it even matters.

First off, You're just dropped into the game and all of the configuration is done there. You can fiddle with it any time you want, as there's usually a town portal in most of the rooms. Want to not be able to use potions? Want to have enemies get double health? You got it, thanks to the dude in the town room. You can even sacrifice kittens for a permanent health boost. Any time. You can just go there and murder a baby cat. For health. For free. That's a service you usually have to pay for.

Did I mention the controls? They're so tight you'll have to ask if they're legal. It's like the only rule when making the game was "When they hit the button, the thing that should happen when that button is pushed HAPPENS, DAMMIT." You can literally flappy-bird your way to success if you feel like it. The floor is lava, go nuts.

These folks pretty much focused just on gameplay. Don't let the looks fool you. This game turns from Binding of Isaac into a 2D Serious Sam so fast you won't have time to even notice the graphics, as you'll be infini-jumping and flamethrowing and grenade-throwing and rocket-launching and ice-wanding to even care.

This game is so bananas, even Gwen Stefani is like, "DUDE."
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15 of 17 people (88%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
24.3 hrs on record
Posted: March 5, 2015
It is games like this that make me remember why I'm a gamer. The gameplay is simple to learn but tough to truly master.

I am so glad the indie scene is thriving and we have come back to making games that are standout in gameplay and design rather than rehashing the yearly blah, blah, over and over.

Highly recommend this game to anyone who likes roguelikes! You will not be disappointed.
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12 of 13 people (92%) found this review helpful
6.8 hrs on record
Posted: May 12, 2015
I love this game.
The graphics come off as someone with little artistic talent who with time and patience made the game aesthetically pleasing, though that's just my opinion.
The blood, gore, and explosion of coins upon killing an enemy keeps gameplay satisfying and exciting, while the variety of weapons and their effects keep you interested.
This is the type of game you play for a while, ragequit, and then come back an hour later to do the same.
Overall, very fulfilling experience, I'm glad I payed $4 for it and I reccomend you do the same.
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14 of 17 people (82%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
111.8 hrs on record
Posted: October 6, 2015
This is one of these rare games where you can not stop playing. It may not look great, but it has its charm. In the beginning it is quite challenging but once you figure out how to move its getting easier.
Controls are pretty straight forward and you are ready to move on in the game.
For the money it’s a worthwhile investment.
Since it is a roque like game you may not getting very far, but every time you try again and again, you will progress.
I found that it is a big help what weapons are early on in the chests. Katana is good weapon but it can get you quickly into trouble since you move where the enemy is in split seconds.
My personal favorite weapons are ice staff, flamethrower and rocket launcher. The last can be a death sentence if not used wisely.
If you like roque like games, you should try it out.
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12 of 14 people (86%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
2.1 hrs on record
Posted: March 28, 2015
Don't let the graphics put you off - this is a real gem. What puts this game over the top for me is the option for local co-op.

+Great music
+Controls are tight
+Witty dialogue and really funny weapons like rocket launchers and katanas
+There is real depth with the strategy and weapon choice

-Perhaps the graphic style is debatable - I like it - but there is certainly room for animation improvement (even though this may be a 'style')

Overall, I have been having quite a bit of fun with this little game.
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12 of 14 people (86%) found this review helpful
3.0 hrs on record
Posted: March 4, 2015
It feels like I'm ripping the developer off for this price. It's so good!

A lot of things tickle my interest like the crunchy sound effects, oppurtunistic combat, and easy-to-jump-into gameplay. I personally like the graphics, but don't let the graphics turn you away from the game because it is the gameplay that gets your attention.

If you got $5 to burn this is the perfect game to spend it on. Lots of replay value and lots of modifiers to make your game harder or easier to change the way you go about the game.
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10 of 11 people (91%) found this review helpful
22.8 hrs on record
Posted: February 2
I'm always chasing roguelike dungeon games, even though most of them end up pretty bad. The reason I do this is because every so often, I find a game like Tallowmere!

I absolutely love this game. It's equal parts fun and frustrating. You really learn and develop your tactics the more you play. You have to figure out the best way to use your weapons, and what weapon is the right weapon to use in any given situation, and even once you've learned that, you have to be careful not to get too cocky or careless, because mistakes can kill!

There's nothing better than the thrill of demolishing enemies with the katana, or raining grenades down upon the unsuspecting mobs below, or sneaking up behind and stabbing an enemy with an emerald dagger. You find a rocket launcher for the first time and go nuts with it! Then you realize that the subtleties of the ice wand are sometimes preferable, even if the wand doesn't have the launcher's range.

You die. You die again. You curse the mobs and you curse yourself for not being good enough to get past the mobs yet, or making a stupid mistake. You quit the game in frustration. But then you go back, because you know you can take everything you've learned and make it a little further next time, and sure enough, you do!

It's so wonderfully retro in that it's the sort of game that you just have to keep working and working to perfect your reactions, your tactics, your skills. It's brutally unforgiving when you mess up, but your willingness to soldier on and learn from those mistakes is rewarded when you post a new top score on your personal scoreboard. It's got all the punishing beauty of a classic arcade game. Instant favorite game for me!
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