There are actual wolves in Fear the Wolves, which I was a little surprised by. I thought the title was a figure of speech, referring to the predatory packs of other players that form the lynchpin in the tension of a Battle Royale game. Nope! Turns out it was a reference to literal wolves there to be feared.

Unfortunately, it's quite hard to fear them at the moment, since they move like they've lost a leg in the sea of treacle they appear to be wading through. I'm pretty sure that my reaction to a wolf eating my virtual face off shouldn't be to burst out laughing, but that's exactly what happened when I lost my first game to a pack of those three-legged treacle-dogs.

Have we collectively decided that being ropey as an 18th century ship on launch is a desired feature of the battle royale genre? Yes, Fear the Wolves is an Early Access game. But when you use Early Access as a springboard to leap upon a bandwagon with a title that's barely acceptable as an Alpha, I'm not inclined to be understanding. We're two years down the line on this battle royale money-train, with two massive, finished games for players to choose between. One of which, I might add, is the biggest game on the planet. If you're gonna come at the King, at the very least you should be wearing some clothes when you miss.

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