Pack your bags, wrap the presents, put your scarf around your neck. And then sit down because, I’m sorry, you’re going nowhere. It’s bad, yeah. Even yours truly, a respected list goblin of note, could not make it back to his family in time for the holidays due to the ongoing vengeance of mother nature. But listen. What if I told you: “video games”? They have always had something for us in the past. What wonderful surrogate families can we join in this time of loneliness and separation to ease our troubled minds? Here are the 10 most wholesome families in PC games you may look to in this hour of need.

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As the fuzzy denizens of earth pivot to non-existence, we will soon be left with an unclear memory of the animal kingdom’s bizarre court. The elephant, for instance, what even is it? I cannot help with that question, I’m not a marine biologist. But what I can offer is a tour of endangered videogame wildlife. Otherworldly creatures you can’t find beneath the rocks of reality or swimming in the ponds of tangibility. It is the least I can do. So, here you go. A safari of the 9 weirdest animals in PC games.

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Fighting game championship Evo has been cancelled this year following abuse allegations against Evo co-founder and CEO Joey “MrWizard” Cuellar. Evo are ejecting him from the company and replacing him as CEO. The makers of half the games in Evo’s lineup had already pulled out of the event following the allegations, including Street Fighter gang Capcom and Mortal Kombat devs NetherRealm. Evo Online was due to run this weekend, one of the many virtual replacements for events called off due to the pandemic.

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Football. Tennis. Conkers. What do these historic, reputable sports have in common, I ask you. That’s correct, they are not extreme enough. Please, quiet now. I am here to do the talking. Yes, there are sports videogames, your FIFAs and your Mario Tennises. But they do not fulfill the desire within all of us for the extreme, the radical, the pushing of it to the max. I will now demonstrate, through force of listicle, the 9 most extreme sports in PC games, from bone-breaking snowboarders to motorcycle Wipeout. And you, in your turn, shall be thankful to this website for providing such diversion. Now, read.

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Like everything else, Evo is not going ahead as usual this year. The fighting game championships will not invade a Las Vegas resort for a weekend at the end of July, with that event now cancelled and tickets getting refunded. But Evo 2020 is evolving, and will go online this summer. It surely won’t be the same but, even as a casual spectator, I’m still well up for it.

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Happy love day, you disgusting piece of filth. Got you. That was an example of what today s young people call neggling . This is when you are nice and nasty in such quick succession that the body becomes inexplicably aroused. Spasms of lust take over both neggler and negglee, resulting in a paroxysm of extramarital sex and, subsequently, the degeneration of humanity. This is just one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. But there are many more examples in videogames. Here are the 10 most toxic couples out there. Don’t worry, you can argue fruitlessly in favour of any of them. That’s the point of these articles.

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I’ll level with you. I don’t know a thing about Taekwondo and I know only slightly more things about fighting games. But I do know how health bars work in video games which is exactly what this particular martial arts match looks like. Even someone like me with no prior knowledge can track when to cheer, which is pretty neat.

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Hey you, I heard your breath smells like a fart. What are you gonna do about it? Fight me!? Excellent. I was hoping you d say that, because I ve put together a list of the 10 best fighting games on PC, and it would be fantastic if you came and had a look, gave your thoughts, and maybe elbowed me in the teeth while you re at it. Finally, a decent reader willing to dropkick me. Matchmaking is hard.

All right, let s take this outside, where the top 10 fighting games are waiting. How exciting.

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Hello biffers, your Mars is in ascendance. That astrologist you consulted about your mortgage now has a relatable character to use in punchsome fighting game Tekken 7. Zafina is a purple clad fighter with a keen interest in the stars circling your head after she knocks you the flip out. She also has a giant claw for a hand, because what self-respecting Gemini doesn’t have an evil limb that threatens to take control of their mind? Alongside her release today comes a free update with new moves for other players and some other small changes to the knuckle sandwich ’em up. Come and fight me for them.

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“Family is all”, a wise man once said. And then he half-drowned his nephew in a bucket of ice water, but let’s forget about that bit. The sentiment is what’s important. Families can be good and bad, dysfunctional or helpful. This is as true in videogames as in life. So that’s what we’re podcasting about this week. The brothers, mothers, aunts and cousins we have grown to like or who we watch with a wary eye any time we visit the local volcano. Come listen.

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