Sailaway has some good waves. It has nice rain. It has many ropes. You cannot die in Sailaway. But you can simulate seasickness.

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The blizzards of Siberia have gone on holiday to the United Kingdom this week. But the RPS podcast, the Electronic Wireless Show, doesn t do snow days. The pod squad have trekked hard through the whiteout (from their bedrooms to their computers) to gather on their respective microphones. To what end? Well, to talk about the weather. Blizzards, thunderclouds, sandstorms and, er, night-time? In videogames, it all counts.

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Hoist up the kedge to lee side! Pack down the puddening, or do you want to see this mulie over-canvassed? Crank that highfield lever or I’ll bimmy you bloody!

Sorry, I’m getting a bit carried away: I haven’t got a clue how sailing works, but I do have access to an online glossary of nautical terms. Also, Enya.

Sailing sim Sailaway has braved the early access tempest and emerged into the calm ocean waters of… being properly out. It aims to recreate every jib and jibboom (a spar used to extend the bowsprit, come on keep up) from physical sailing, as well as every ocean on God’s blue Earth. Get ready to get your feet wet.

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Operation Pump Handle went rather well, all things considered. Of the ten peanut-powered mechanical magpies dispatched on Monday morning, nine returned home with sim developer status reports in their leg canisters. Only Domino (destination Deadstick) is still out there somewhere. If you live in the Guildford area and have recently had a smoke or spark emitting Pica pica> visit your bird table, please let me know. (more…)

It’s a simple theme this week with the Electronic Wireless Show. We’re talking about guilty pleasures – the games that make us feel a wee bit embarrassed but not so much that we won’t squirrel away at them while grinning like idiots. Alec feels a bit sheepish bringing his toy steering wheel to work when planning to play American Truck Simulator. Meanwhile, Matt remembers how he enjoyed the passage of time while picking flax in a Runescape field, and Brendan attempts to explain the relaxing sea-based boredom of Sailaway.

We’ve also been tinkering with alchemical puzzler Opus Magnum from Zachtronics, fiddling with small machines to produce precious metals, hangover cures and the kinds of “stamina potions” you might find spamming up your junk folder. Come listen, guilt-free. (more…)

Like a sentry on a bitter night or the Isle of Man in a strong sou’westerly, Flare Path’s birthday has a tendency to move about. Last year the champagne corks ricocheted and the streamers tangled on August 12. This year the big day is September 1. Today Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s most Panzeriferous and Spitfiery column becomes a hexager. Celebrations will take the usual form a litter of wet-nosed, bushy-tailed, berry-eyed foxers all far more approachable and, potentially, much more rewarding, than the standard co-op type. (more…)

It s almost over. My valiant journey from ocean to ocean via the infamous Northwest Passage is coming to an end. It took the autonomous crew of sailing simulator Sailaway and I a total of 2 months and 5 days, much of which was spent stranded in a pleasant little place called Terror Bay. But we ve hoisted the mainsail for the final time. With just 39 miles to go we will have broken into out of the Bering Sea come morning, into the grand Pacific ocean. But how did these last few weeks go? Let s consult the captain s log to find out. … [visit site to read more]

My noble mission to travel the infamous Northwest Passage using only my wits and salty sailing sim Sailaway [official site] continues with all the recklessness of a manic toddler. Last time the crew and I got stuck in water a metre deep after we made the definitely joint decision> to detour into a place called Terror Bay. But nothing can stop this valiant vessel. The Bluster & Guesswork will not know failure. It will not know disruption. It will not know defeat! I mean, it s a boat, it won t know anything. … [visit site to read more]

She comes down in the middle of the night and finds him on the sofa pleasuring himself with a plastic Ankylosaurus. >

Nietzsche was your radical Islam I get that but it didn’t turn you into a mass murderer did it? You may have hated the human race for a year or two but you didn’t actively plot their extermination. >

And these are? Giraffes. Of course! So the nice giraffes are helping the firemen save the people in the burning house? > … [visit site to read more]

What ho! The voyage of the Bluster & Guesswork, my beautiful boat in realistic sailing sim Sailaway [official site], continues at breakneck speed (0.9 knots). For those joining us, I have set out to conquer the Northwest Passage, that difficult and deadly route between Atlantic and Pacific ocean. But one month into the journey and we have been, er, delayed. As captain, I refuse to take responsibility. My crew have been slack and disobedient. I am confident my journal will exonerate me of all blame. … [visit site to read more]