All dogs go to heaven, we have heard it said. But what about videogame dogs? By the virtue of their non-existence you may suspect they are refused entry. However, after contemplating the issue for some time, our finest minds in the listicle archives have concluded that, yes, even videogame dogs go to heaven. What a relief. Here are the 10 goodest boys in PC games, all approved for divine ascendence.

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Dusty mook-tormenting simulator Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain has finally had its much-awaited Peace Day, as players achieved full nuclear disarmament last night.

For the first time since its 2015 release, not a single player had possession of a nuclear weapon. Enough people chose to destroy them that there were simply none left. The result is the unlocking of a new celebratory cutscene, which you can see below thanks to a YouTube user known as Steff.

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[Warning: this article must be read entirely in a comedy cowboy voice]>

Howdy pardner. Spittoon? Take it, we got a whole crate of them right here. Every god-fearing outlaw needs a good spittoon at their heels, as my grandmammy used to say. Hoo-wee, what a women. She was known to enjoy a strong snifter of list article, you know. Everyone who visited got a spittoon and a list article. And vidyagames be damned if I ain’t the same obliging sort as my grammy, yes sir. So here you go, friend. In anticipation of that there Desperados III, here are the 9 most desperate cowboys, cowgals, and cowbots in PC gaming. Yeehaw, I say, yee and haw.

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If you plumb the depths of human ingenuity you will resurface with a wet box of penicillin and 100 million bits of different-coloured plastic. We people are very good at making useful things, and then killing ourselves with them. But videogames, my friends. Videogames hold the solution to our self-destructive ways. That tech utopia your pal Start-up Stan is always talking about is in reach, we just need to find a way to make these 12 practical devices from videogames appear in real life.

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The greasy realm of the videogame is not always the best place to look for good writing. For every Disco Elysium there are roughly 800 Detroit: Beyond Humans. But it is a good place to look for wondrous, over-the-top nonsense. I m talking about character dialogue so flamboyant and exaggerated, you could insert some line breaks and it would instantly become a verse in a glam rock anthem. Here are the 12 most extravagant, exuberant, and intense lines of dialogue. In games, subtext is just whatever s written on the side of the nuclear submarine.

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Children, life s great copy-paste. Adorable, drooling idiots with no self-control and a habit of yelling embarrassing facts to the entire supermarket. In our everyday lives, human children are a snotty emblem of hope, vulnerability, and aspiration. In videogames, they are a cursed harbinger of escort missions, narrative roadblocks, cutesy voice acting, and precocious dialogue. They are annoying. But hold on, that s the point. Many of them are meant to be that way. So here is a list of the 10 most annoying children in PC games. And perhaps, the best annoying?

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Mech love, not war. That is the lesson we must learn from the futuristic prophecies of the MechWarrior games. Yes, it is very noble to slam your big steel shoes upon a separatist s bedroom, and to laser him in the head. But would it not bring greater valour, greater unity, greater enlightenment, if those same 65-ton brogues were used to dance!

No. Here is a list of the 9 stompiest mechs in PC games. The heaviest, most murderous machines we know and trust with our frail human bods. But are they are all good at squashing?

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It’s been an eventful decade for PC games, and it would be hard for you to summarise everything that’s happened in the medium across the past ten years. Hard for you>, but a day’s work for us. Below you’ll find our picks for the 50 best games released on PC across the past decade.

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I ve never been myself, but if games have taught me anything about the 80s, it s that they were wild. Big hair, big clothes, big music it was all there. If you were to use Grand Theft Auto: Vice City as a sole reference for the period, you d assume that everyone was constantly walking around to the beat of their own pulsing, synth-infused soundtrack. When 80s-inspired games come to mind, you re probably reminded of excessive action, neon-laced landscapes, and other stylised sensibilities. The games industry seems to be obsessed with this flashy, bitchin decade or, at least, a version of it. Point being: it doesn t have to be like this. (more…)

Messy spinoff Metal Gear Survive might not have landed with much grace, but Konami know better than to kill their golden goose; Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain. Even if its exiled director is busy hanging out with Norman Reedus and Mads Mikkelsen, they’ve still got a few people working on MGS5, and their latest annual update finally gives players the chance to play as underdressed and overpowered mutant sniper lady Quiet. Right now she’s restricted to the semi-online FOB invasion missions, although given MGS5’s mod scene, that may change soon.

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