I exist outside of popular culture*. I’ve only just started to watch The Shield, and I mostly listened to Use Your Illusion II this weekend. So I had to Google ‘Gareth Bale’ to find out why everyone was talking about him, which in turn reminded me that Football Manager 2014 is coming out, and that I should get with the times. The managerial machination sim would have prepared me for the news about a Welsh person’s move to a Spanish place for more money that exists in space and time, and it would also have told me about his abilities, stats, training schedule, and possibly his cup size, but it’s not out yet and I refuse to be left behind again by looking at 2013′s information. I’ll wait for 2014′s release, and keep up by watching these videos of the game in action.

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This year as with every year, there is a brand new edition of Sports Interactive’s management goliath Foot-to-Ball Commander. The 2013 version is out next week, in fact. New features this year include over 17 new types of decomposing tobacco breath odorants to add to your manager’s Unhinged Bellow attack, the option to hurl the most racist members of your premiership team into the heart of the sun and the exclusive Gary Lineker’s Leaving Your Wife Of 20 To Shack Up With An Underwear Model Time Attack mode.

Also there’s a demo, out now on Steam. (more…)

The continuing misadventures of first-time manager Ian Football, leading hapless team Worcester City FC to their uncertain future in Football Manager 2012. Previous installments are here.>

I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Hell, I even knew that it was going to happen more often or not. That didn’t make it any less painful when, for the first time, my team lost. And lost hard.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they? Exactly.>

Would it really be so bad if I quit right now? (more…)

Ian Football, manager of Worcester City football club, can’t come to the phone right now, so I’m here to hold the line until he gets back.

I just wanted to say: I am really enjoying Football Manager 2012. (more…)

The year’s big guns have all been loosed now, and Christmas wallet-raiding is fully upon us. So, which games will be cleaning up on Steam and at Uk retail? Skyrim, MW3, AssRev, or another challenger? And is the resurgence of Splash Damage’s last game enough for me to justify saying ‘Byte vs Brink’? (more…)

Every single damn week, I can’t remember if it’s called ‘Byte vs Brick’ or ‘Brick vs Byte.’ My failing memory terrifies me. Though my girlfriend is vaguely appreciative of it, as it allows her to tell me the same anecdotes repeatedly with me having no clue I’ve heard them before. At least, she claims she’s my girlfriend; I can’t rightly recall if that’s the case or not. There’s just this person in my house who tells me to do the washing up and feed the cat, and it seems to prudent to play along and hope my memory kicks in at some point. And why are all these words tattooed on my torso?

Anyway: Brick vs Byte, our weekly, unscientific look at how the top 10 best-selling games on Steam compare to the top 10 at UK retail. What mysteries will be revealed? Will Battlefield 3 still be king of the hill? And who the hell are you people? What’s going on? Where are my trousers? (more…)

Hello. I am not Alec Meer. He’s in charge of this, not me. But Alec is on holiday on Cybertron for a week, so I’m going to have a go. Charts, right? Like they used to have for pop music, but with games instead? I think I can do this.

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