The Witcher 3 [official site] is the longest game I’ve played for years, or at least the longest game that I’ve actually come close to completing. There was a time when I’d be thrilled to hear about a new fifty or sixty hour epic adventure, very much subscribing to the policy the more the better , but now I’m more likely to flinch away from the screen when a game’s sprawl is revealed.

I’ve realised that my aversion to enormous games has been growing for a while, but the announcement of Red Dead Redemption 2 brought it into sharp focus. Do I really want> yet another massive open world game? I’m not sure that I do.

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It’s always a happy day when an update for a much-loved mod appears. The Game of Thrones total conversion for Crusader Kings II [official site] is such a blindingly obvious combination of worlds and mechanics that it simply had to exist. That the team working on it continue to do such a good job is fantastic. The latest update brings in support for the latest expansion to the base game, The Reaper’s Due, which adds all sorts of epidemic modelling and hideous disease-related deaths. So, yes, you can watch your least favourite characters suffer and squirm as they try to sweat or bleed out the bubonic plague.

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A new Europa Universalis IV [official site] expansion, named Rights of Man, is out today. This means that people who pay 15 can play with expanded diplomatic options as a Great Power. As is the traditional Paradox grand strategy way, a big update has launched alongside this expansion with fixes and additions for all.

Look, if I sound half-hearted, it’s because I’m reading the notes for a Crusader Kings II patch Paradox also released today, and that has the lot: cats, fraudulent mystics, and cannibals finding human heads in their beds. EU4 is a let-down on the japery front.

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When you start a new game of Dwarf Fortress, a world is generated. Not just a map, but a world, with its own legends, characters, factions and historical wars. It’s one of my favourite openings to any game and gets me far more hyped than any fancy cinematic intro.

Wouldn’t it be great if Crusader Kings II [official site] could do something similar, rather than sticking to actual historical beginnings? Thanks to a modder who goes by the name Yemmlie, it can. The CK2 Generator can create alternate histories, simulating the appearance and development of cultures, religions, languages, characters and all the rest. It defaults to the vanilla map but if you want a random world to play on as well, that’s supported.

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Bring out yer dead, we ve got a lovely wheelbarrow ready and waiting. Dynastic strategy and infanticide simulator, Crusader Kings II [official site], has received its latest add-on. The Reaper s Due brings a bunch of new events and mechanics for Europe s worst case of the sniffles. The Black Death will ravage the land and you ll be forced to either fight against it or hide away in your castle with your pet cat. As usual, there s also a free patch tweaking other issues, for all the peasants unable to find 7 in their coffers.

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Reigns [official site] is a game of decision-making and courtly governance that was described by Adam as Crusader Kings meets Tinder. You get presented with card after card of choices and have to swipe left or right (or in our case, click) in order to say yes or no to your courtiers requests. It s also out today. I ve just played 20 minutes of it. One of my kings was abandoned to rule over a kingdom of pigeons, another was slaughtered and thrown to the dogs by the merchant class, and another went mad, kicked a dog and started hearing the Devil. It s good to be the king.

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Paradox and Adam may tell you that the next Crusader Kings II [official site] expansion is about diseases tearing through medieval Europe, but no. The Reaper’s Due is about cats. Lovely cats. Hunting dogs be damned, Reaper’s Due will let characters befriend a cat – which naturally brings bonuses. Then… maybe a few more cats. All of the cats. Lovely, lovely cats. Get carried away and you might get the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ trait. And then something something black death bad omens angry mob blah blah but look, the point is: cats. Oh, and the expansion now has a release date: August 25th.

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We all get sick every once in a while. When certain unnameable stars are ascendant and the pollen count is high, the writers of RPS are stricken with a variety of ailments ranging from the mildly irritating Wheezing Calamities to the truly dreadful Kneecaps-A-Shudder that causes the sound of grinding bones to echo around our word-cubicles, day and night. We have a proud record of ‘zero plagues’ in 2016 though and that’s something to celebrate.

Crusader Kings II [official site] is set in more sickly times though and the next expansion to the bestest of all historical strategy games will explore illness, death and all that other good stuff.

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Total conversions are like mods, except so ambitious they never get released. Ho ho!> A little bit of 1999 mod community humour there. They’re also sometimes mods that completely change the face and function of game, bending its every part in service of some new purpose. That’s what Paradox want to support more of across all their games, and to that end they’ve released a 3D model exporting tool alongside a new developer diary discussing modding for their upcoming procedural space strategy game, Stellaris. It looks hot like that sun.

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The launch of a new expansion for Crusader Kings II [official site] is a happy time. Folks with spare cash can add an interesting new system to the dynasty-building strategy game, all players benefit from a big free update launching alongside it, and non-players like me get to enjoy the silliness that comes in that update’s changelog.

So, the Conclave expansion has arrived today to add a council who can work with or against rulers, the update has added an infamy system, and I’m giggling at patch notes explaining that humans should no longer give birth to horses and wondering whether “History is no longer executed if the player loads a savegame” refers to somehow sticking the head of history itself on a pike above the gates.

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