Minigames are the coffee Revel of videogames. They are harmless, infrequent and unpleasant to think about. We accept their presence, yet no one has ever eaten a pack of Revels and wished for more coffee nuggets. Nobody completed Final Fantasy X and thought: Needs more Blitzball . That minigames exist as a mild distraction inside the glowing guts of other games is itself ridiculous. Imagine you were on a golf course, and hole 12 turned out to be its own 8-hole pitch n putt. This is stupid, you d think, and then you would play pitch n putt for the rest of the day in a mindless stupor.

Here are the 7 most gratuitous minigames – but do they all deserve to be here?

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Well, it’s finally happened. On Monday, Apple released the feared MacOS “Catalina” update, killing compatibility for dozens of 32-bit games. From this week onwards, updated Macs just flat out won’t run ’em. In the constant churn of developing newer, faster, and sleeker operating systems, the Mac makers have given curators of older games a simple choice: put in the work to bring your games up to speed, or we’re leaving them behind.

For some publishers, updating countless classics simply isn’t worth the effort, leaving many 32-bit hits in the ground for good.

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10 years of Borderlands, is it? A whole decade since four cel-shaded bounty hunters hopped off a bus and murdered their way across a planet to the whiny twangs of Cage The Elephant? Blimey, where does the time go? Well before Destiny, Borderlands married Diablo’s gear grind with run n’ gun blasting in an open-world romp, kicking off a generation of shooting bloody numbers out of heads. To celebrate a decade of cartoon carnage, the next five weeks of Borderlands 3 will crank things up to 11, starting with a week of better boss loot drops.

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Thanks to various life events, illnesses, and an awesome TV show called The Magicians, I ve barely played Borderlands 3. I m still in the opening area while my co-op buddy is off looting things I can only dream of. The real horror here isn t Bloody Harvest, the upcoming Haloween update that I’ve been tasked to write about. It’s the FOMO I m feeling as life goes on without me.

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In Vectorpark s Sandcastles, you build fantastic towers and watch the waves erase your work every 10 seconds. It s a very direct metaphor for the global climate crisis that threatens to flood coastal cities and exacerbate natural disasters. Sandcastles confronts us with our totally predictable watery doom, but we also find fun and expression in our totally foreseeable destruction. When the planet dies, at least we ll be entertained.

Before you commit to starving and drowning, you should probably understand how and why it ll happen. To imagine this nightmarish hellworld, readers can flip through climate fiction novels ( cli-fi ) and movie-goers can watch a big unprofitable climate disaster blockbuster every few years. But us mouse-clickers, we obviously don t read books or watch movies. Instead, we play with climate. Behold, the climate crisis game.

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Borderlands 3 is on the way, and developers Gearbox really want everyone to know, so they’ve launched one final piece of epilogue story DLC for enduringly popular looter-shooter Borderlands 2. Commander Lilith And The Fight For Sanctuary is free until July 8th brings the cast back together (including folks from Tales From The Borderlands) for one last fight. They’ve also slashed the price on Borderlands: The Handsome Collection (Containing Borderlands 2, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and all their DLC) to under a fiver. Below, a trailer for the new stuff, featuring a gun that shoots exploding unicorns.

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To this day, the jaunty static of the opening jingle to Harvest Moon: More Friends of Mineral Town brings me back to a simpler time. Summer evenings spent hunched over my Game Boy SP, a pane of glass between me and nature s suburban bounty as I tilled my little squares of land, pet my happy little chickens, and bribed a town s worth of reticent heartthrobs into falling for my little blonde avatar, Pepper, with an onslaught of ores, animal products, and various culinary delights (but never cucumbers, ya gummy-mouthed fish-man).

Harvest Moon was about as wholesome as wholesome gets, my first videogame love, but as the days turned to years, we grew apart. Since then, I ve filled the hole in my heart with the usual suspects, (Stardew Valley, Rune Factory, and so on) until there was only one thing left to do: make my own Harvest Moon. And so began my ongoing personal quest to turn every game I own that is unfortunate enough to not be Harvest Moon into the farming simulation game they were always meant to be. Here, in true naturalist fashion, I present my field notes in the hope that we may go on to tame this new frontier together.

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Your time is important. And you know what? So is mine. Here s this week s podcast, the Electronic Wireless Show. It s about how your life is dripping away every second you play Stardew Valley.

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Gearbox fully unveiled Borderlands 3 during a livestreamed event earlier today with an hour of largely-uncut co-op footage, showing off a brighter and more colourful sequel than I was expecting. Combat is more mobile, weapons have alt-fire modes, bosses look more interesting and players can now leave the dusty wastes of Pandora to go shooting and looting on other planets. You can see the full presentation below, and they’re setting streamers loose on the game now for three hours of freeform play, so Twitch will be flooded with footage later today.

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I say watch because this week’s podcast takes place in a real room in front of a real audience (don t worry, there s an audio version too). At Rezzed in London this month, we thought it d be fun to re-enact three of the most memorable scenes of PC gaming, exactly as you remember them. So strap on your eye-wideners and prepare for some wonderful acting. Including a 100% faithful adaptation of the most notorious moment in any Final Fantasy game: the death of… Aerosmith?

Alice! Alice, what have you done to these scripts!?

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