Køb Happy Birthday, Bernard

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Go play my game here for free: https://livy-the-t-regina.itch.io/happy-birthday-bernard
I don't want it on Steam anymore.

I would have just removed it, but apparently you can't do that without overlord Valve's consent. They make you answer a bunch of questions so they can decide if you are worthy of not continuing to make them money. And they want you to select an application, but it seems to be only off your computer rather than from their servers. I don't have the application on my computer.

Honestly, their whole developer portal is atrocious. User-unfriendly garbage, but who cares as long as they make money. They have a near monopoly on the PC gaming sector, so devs and customers alike flock to put up with their nonsense. (Please note, I am censoring my language heavily so I don't get detected by any profanity bots - I want to spread the good word to as many people as possible before I'm caught. (And please take the game down when you do catch me, kind employee. Feel free to remove my account too.))

Of course, the customer experience is sleek and shiny (I think, I've not used Steam in ages). They gotta keep you addicted, keep buying games, keep playing 400 hour epics where you do the same thing over and over again that you already did for 400 hours in a different game and 400 other games. Keep being distracted from the things that really matter so you don't realise you're their puppets.

Love matters. Creativity matters. Your time matters. Money doesn't, and it's a shame Valve went so headstrong down that path of greed and corporate bull. They used to make such amazing games. Now they just milk us for all we're worth while offering almost nothing in return.

Get your games on itch.io. It's full of interesting indie games with interesting concepts, many of which you can download for free. It is better than Steam in just about every way conceivable. Perhaps there are fewer photorealistic mind-numbing propaganda-fests, but you can get that experience in real life. Support real artists!

Happy gaming, my friends! X


P.S. You actually shouldn't be able to buy this game here because I haven't bothered updating my tax information in forever. I just tested and it is still purchasable, so if I'm not getting that money - where do you think it's going?