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Have you ever wanted to third-wheel a date between a sweaty swan-wangler and a fezzed popcorn dispenser? Wait, really? Not even slightly? Oh. Oh, no. I spent months working on this DLC! This thing had a BUDGET a-and that was money I can't AFFORD to lose! Do you have ANY idea how much money I owe t- Ah, what's the use... Okay, onto the selling points:

• A relationship mechanic which can lead to four different endings! There are so many different ways you can screw up the date (and if you do, SOMEONE has to get their heart broken!)

• Strengthen (or sabotage) Randy and Oliver's relationship! You can be a comforting presence or TRULY torture them both. You can trip Randy up and then gaslight him into apologizing to YOU. Hell, there's a part where Randy almost completely loses it. It's great.

• The route has 6 endings in total, ranging from getting your head popped like a grape to smashing Randy's heart to smithereens. Play responsibly. Thank you.

• REALLY get to know Randy and Oliver and learn stuff about them not included in their basegame routes! From living with a head injury to Oliver's time with his mom, by the end of this route, you'll REALLY know these two schmucks. This may or may not be a positive.

• Choices that matter, now more than ever! More player choices are tracked than ever and for half of the route, virtually anything you say or do can affect what ending you get! Choose wisely!

• Control the pace of conversations with skip points all over the DLC! With a script twice as long as Oliver's basegame route, the game makes repeat playthroughs that much easier (and it will take multiple playthroughs to see every scene!)

• Two new characters and a whole slew of character cameos, including the most requested basegame characters not seen in a DLC yet!

• A new Original Soundtrack by Nathan Hanover, featuring 7 tracks not heard in Dialtown's basegame! There's some really nice ones this time around!

• An optional platonic mode (as requested, if you'd rather Randy and Oliver just be constantly worried the other's head will fall off instead of being in love.)

With hours of potential playtime, 6 endings, new art, new music and so much more, you'd have to be INSANE not to purchase this shoddy little thing. So, what are you waiting for? Purchase it TODAY!!!

(DLC is started by speaking with Oliver at the cinema!)

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There's swearing and Randy works at a phone-sex hotline. This one is pretty tame compared to the basegame, though.