You may have heard that Reddit bought Team Fortress 2 today. We can officially confirm that this is in fact the case. So if any Reddit staffers are reading this: Hi, boss! We're working pretty hard over here. Well, back to work.
Okay, the Reddit guys've probably stopped reading by now, so we can be square with you: Reddit only thinks it bought us, because that's what we told them when we met them over the weekend to sign all the legal documents. What they don't know is that when a bird flew into a window during the signing and everybody on the TF2 team got scared and some of us started crying, that was a little something we in the business world call a distraction.
The "bird" that "flew" into the window? Not a bird at all. It was a squirrel launched from a t-shirt cannon by one of our guys across the street. The part where we got "scared"? Daniel Day Lewis-level method acting by the TF2 team. The part where some of us started "crying"? That was because the sound of the squirrel hitting the glass was a lot louder than we thought it would be and was legitimately scary. So technically real, but still under the umbrella of our overall deception.
Once the Reddit guys were thoroughly distracted, we took advantage of them awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with us and switched the legal documents for new documents. Documents that said we actually secretly bought them. Business.
In celebration of our Reddit purchase, we're going to add some new Reddit-themed items to the game. There's also plenty of neat stuff we're working on and would love to tease. But realistically, because today is the International Day of Foolishness, anything we told you guys would just be met with suspicion. And when have we ever trolled our community? Never, that's when. Okay, maybe that one time.