Meet Woody Two-Legs, the least infamous pirate of Seven Seas. Things have never gone quite right for Woody. That is, until he scored big time and got his hands on huge treasure. Sailing to remote island, Woody was about to bury his treasure, just as any good pirate would do.
User reviews: Mixed (47 reviews) - 57% of the 47 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Nov 2, 2010

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About This Game

Meet Woody Two-Legs, the least infamous pirate of Seven Seas. Things have never gone quite right for Woody. That is, until he scored big time and got his hands on huge treasure. Sailing to remote island, Woody was about to bury his treasure, just as any good pirate would do.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the original owner of the treasure, namely Mr. Jones and his retinue of undead pirates, caught up with Woody. Small as he might be, Woody Two-Legs will not going to give up without a fight.

Help Woody Two-Legs to fight wave after wave of undead pirates, defeat deadly bosses, collect bonuses and use devastating special weapons. All legs on deck!

Key Features:

  • Chase the high scores on the online scoreboard and don’t settle for anything less than the Best of the Best
  • Unlock the various difficulty levels ultimately ending up in the extremely insane Nightmare-mode
  • Check in on a regular basis to make sure no one has dethroned your score, or then to simply make it better and harder to beat “Defeat your friends & foes on the online scoreboard”
  • Follow the story of Woody Two-Legs trough the exiting campaign mode or play your favorite level in the Level play mode
  • Fight the evil forces of Mr. Jones on several different levels of intensity
  • Face the zombies, skeletons and ghosts ships and their grim bosses and finally face off with Mr. Jones himself

Woody Two-Legs is a casual score chasing arcade shooter that offers the player various degrees of un-lockable difficulty, building gradually on intensity with wave after wave of attack by the retinue of undead pirates and their unholy allies. Part of the addiction lies in the fact that these enemies become increasingly nasty as the player unlocks the various difficulty modes, ultimately facing up against the man himself in the ultimate boss fight in Nightmare Mode.

System Requirements

    • OS: Windows 7 / Vista / XP
    • Processor: 2.0 GHz Core Duo or equivalent
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Hard Disk Space: 4 GB
    • Video Card: 256 MB of dedicated memory with support for pixel shader 3.0. NVIDIA 7800 or equivalent
    • Sound Card: DirectX9 compatible
    • Controller Support: 3-button mouse, keyboard and speakers
Helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people (100%) found this review helpful
7.3 hrs on record
Posted: December 9, 2015
Appearing simple, casual and fun, and with a catchy title, Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates seems like a fun in-and-out kind of game; the only thing missing seem to be ninjas and robots. As Woody Two-Legs, you find a magnificent treasure. And like any serious pirate out there you feel the undeniable urge to take the treasure to a lush island, dig a hole and bury it. Something like a medieval pension fund, I suppose. Of course, it’s not that easy. The treasure appears to belong to Mr. Jones, an evil spirit set on retaking what’s his, sending out his undead flotilla of zombies, skeletons and ghosts.

The gameplay is rather simple. You control Woody’s pirate ship using either the keyboard, or a gamepad if you desire so. You can make the boat go faster and slower, and turn left and right relative to the boat’s orientation. ike any stereotypical pirate ship you have some serious firepower on board. Your goal is to defend your treasure from the invading boats, shooting them down with cannonballs. However, the trick is that you can only fire sideways. I suppose Woody didn’t think of a front-mounted cannon, but fear not: in addition to your trusty rusty cannonballs you can obtain “superweapons” ranging from homing dolphins to sticky webs and sea mines. In additional to your cannons and superweapons, you have the ability to sail over boxes with a chance of picking up an power-up. These temporary upgrades allow you to fire more powerful cannonballs or make you go faster (or the enemy go slower).

All-in-all, these elements make up for some hectic moments, as you need to manage defending your treasure, blasting enemy waves down to size and your position on the battlefield all at the same time. It sounds easier than it is, I found. There were a couple of things that bothered me when playing Woody Two-Legs. First of all, the level design is pretty poor. Now I’m not saying they should have designed that large body of water better, but I mean the actual parts that are land. Besides the main island on which your treasure lies, there can be some strips of land surrounding the island. When your boat bumps into land it bounces off, and sometimes with great speed. I even got stuck between the island and a land strip, bouncing back and forth uncontrollably.

Something else that got me a bit on edge a couple of times is the fact that enemies can drop power-ups of all sorts. I don’t think I had mentioned that there can be power-downs as well. When an enemy has stolen your treasure, you have a chance of retrieving it by quickly destroying their boat and looting the money box. I swear, there was an incredible amount of occasions where a “bad box” would spawn right next to a “money box”, to the extent that it would be extremely difficult to grab the money without getting a bad spell in the heat of the battle. This often made going after lost treasure not worthwhile, as the risk of getting slowed down, frozen, or even a flat gold loss was too high. You would risk not being able to make it to the other side of the map to kill the other wave of looters in time, resulting in even more gold loss. I suppose it’s up to you to make that decision, which does add some strategic flavor to the game.

Other than some things that irritated me, the gameplay is rather simple and solid. When you die, you simply respawn at the cost of a very small amount of gold. I think you’ll probably worry more over the time it takes to respawn than the amount of gold, as every precious second counts when half a dozen looters are sucking your treasure dry. Just think of a sideways shooting Asteroids and you have the basic idea.The game features 5 levels, each increasing in difficulty. In story mode, you take the amount of gold left in your treasure on to the next level. If you manage to play through the 5 levels and still have treasure left you win.

The graphics are simplistic but very functional. When fighting ghost ships it’s hard to see whether they have stolen your gold (a boat starts glowing when they have) since the ghost ships glow by default. Other than that the graphics really aren’t that special, but they serve their purpose and definitely aren’t ugly. How can it be though, that the game starts lagging after a while? The frame rate starts out rather smooth and gradually deteriorates until the laggy display even affects your responsiveness and controls. Since there were no options to set different graphics settings, I just went with it. I suspect a memory leak somewhere (as the game runs just fine the first 15 minutes), however I cannot simply blame the game without any proof.

Like the graphics, the audio isn’t that special, it serves a purpose and does not become annoying. Others may not agree with me but I personally find the latter one of the more important aspects of a game. Music or sound effects should be functional and most of all never annoy the crap out of you during playing. They should add to the immersion, not take away from it. The music is nicely pirate-themed, the sound effects fit the gameplay and they never got to annoy me. Part of the game is voice-acted, and has a certain humorous flair to it, which I could appreciate. Each level has a really short story as well, but this wasn’t voiced-over. It wouldn’t have been much of an effort to voice these, and sure would’ve kept the same nice vibe of the introduction. All-in-all, nothing negative about the audio aspects of Woody Two-Legs.

The user interface is tidy and functional. A rather good insight in your boat’s condition (hit points), the amount of gold left in your treasure, time until next enemy wave, your score, and currently selected superweapon. The controls are simple: whether you play on gamepad or keyboard, one hand controls your boat’s movement, while the other controls your cannons and superweapons. Space pauses the game and escape brings up the menu. Your boat’s movement responds fairly well to your controls. Keeping in mind that it’s a boat, there is some delay in how fast you can turn initially. Picking up power-up boxes can get quite frustrating but this is just a matter of practicing your movement with Woody’s boat.

Woody Two-Legs and the Pirate Zombies is rather short. That said, it’s only 4,99€, and so I must say it’s still a very good value game. The main reason is that its initial difficulty, and the ability to increase the difficulty as you get better allows you to replay the game a couple of times while remaining challenged. The scoreboard adds extra replayability, as you may want to break your personal records, or those of others. You can play each level individually out of story mode, although you have to unlock them first through playing the story. As a casual in-and-out game, Woody Two-Legs will give you the fun you’d expect for its price.
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26 of 32 people (81%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
1.0 hrs on record
Posted: January 27, 2014
With a name like Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates I don't believe anyone actually expected this to be a good game. Even still I was hopeful that I would be able to find some dumb fun hidden underneath the ridiculous title and obvious low development budget, but alas Woody Two-Legs is nothing of the sort. What we have instead is a poorly designed and repetitive game, with impressively low production values and confusing controls that is above all else very, very boring.

As scoundrel pirate Woody Two-Legs, out pillaging ships on Halloween night, you mistakenly taken the treasure of Davy Jones and raised his scourge of undead minions determined to get it back. As is the case with most pirates Woody isn't about to let go of his loot, and so a desperate back and forth begins that you unfortunately must take part of.

Woody plays like something of a twin-stick shooter, with waves of enemies approaching from all sides attempting to make off with the treasure on the island in the middle and sink your ship in the process. The difference here is that you are controlling a ship, and as such have to account for the time it takes to turn as well as only being able to fire from your side cannons. It almost sounds like an interesting concept, until you actually attempt to play it and realize how unnecessarily confusing it makes everything.

Controlling your ship is very awkward and hard to do with any sort of precision, and shooting enemies is even more frustrating do to having to retrain your brain to remember which way your ship is facing and then choose the right side to shoot out of (when you are constantly turning around, remembering which was is left and right is much more challenging than it sounds like). Even if you manage to get the controls down, the gameplay just isn't fun. Enemies come in three barely indistinct varieties, with the only difference being if their end objective is to kill or steal from you, providing no satisfaction to destroy and disappearing in a puff of white smoke. Each of the five level plays and looks exactly the same with no variation save the boss at the end (which also repeat after a point) and how dark it is, and which take an agonizing 10-20 minutes to complete with no change to enemies patterns or any other means to revitalize the experience (which is already tiring after the first few moments).

I was willing to give Woody a chance despite every indication it would be a horrible time, but it surpassed even my low expectations. Paradox has released a lot of forgettable games and this is one of the worst; an astonishingly monotonous experience that not even the combination of zombies and pirates could save.

Yes it's cheap, dirt cheap even during sales; no it is not worth your time, money, or the braincells you will lose trying to play it.
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17 of 24 people (71%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
4.4 hrs on record
Posted: January 24, 2015
How I managed to complete Woody Two-Legs, is beyond me, the controls alone make this a terrible game. It would of been a joy to play if they allowed you to shoot with the mouse, but no no...you have to use the arrow keys(?) why...?!

The aim of the game is to protect your chest of gold on an island from waves of enemy pirate ships that try and steal it, and you have to fend them off, each ship you destroy will drop a "chest", granting either a power-up, score multiplier, or more money.

There are plenty of better shooting games out there than this, so don't bother wasting your time on it, unlike me....
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9 of 11 people (82%) found this review helpful
1.7 hrs on record
Posted: January 8, 2014
This game is extremely terrible. It is repetitive beyond belief. Every stage is the same boring thing with the same boring enemies, just more of them.

There are only a handful of item upgrades, which are all extremely temporary, and some of them are terrible. The giant web is the worst of them all for the fact you can get stuck in it and it lasts what feels like forever. Although, it is good for the boss fights.

The ship collision is the worst thing in the game. When you bump into a ship you spin into a random direction. You can also get stuck between the islands for a good period of time while you are bouncing around between ships and land trying to get free.

The basic price is ridiculous for what you get. Do not buy, even on a sale. The game is complete garbage at any price.
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9 of 14 people (64%) found this review helpful
2.2 hrs on record
Posted: September 21, 2014
cons:
-very hard game (controls and design)
-so hard; 'casual' tag not for difficulty but for depth

pros:
-satisfying when you sink ships
-you are a pirate

improvements that would make me pre-order a sequel:
-twin-stick movement/aiming (full controller support)
-local co-op
-non-gold-protection gameplay
-perks like in COD or altitude (really any kind of expanded ship options instead of only powerups from fallen enemies)
-more seamonsters
-shareable/editable custom maps/challenges of player-chosen compositions/strategies of enemies etc
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