Bound by an evil spirit residing in the atmosphere of an arcade game, 10 animals develop ulterior motives for helping the witty protagonist along his broken path, but end up looking deeper, into themselves, and finding how they want to be by causing the obstacles in their path to no longer exist, which is what you might want to make happen to whichever one is the cheesiest (This is a no spoiler review, don't worry.) To give you a hint at what I'm talking about, let me explain the beginning of the game. First, you meet Bjorn. He wants to be acknowledged as a scholar, but struggles because of his terrible name. This leads him to search in his innermost thoughts which are strangely filled with pegs, and discover that with the name Bjorn, he wonders if his parents ever loved him. Through the tragic tale, you realize that pegs are what cause all problems in life, but that without them, you would have no life to live. In a beautiful world, you may even have tears in your eyes as you journey on. Along comes Bjorn's associate, Jimmy Lightning. He loved adrenaline, but still remains fat because his addiction has become too extreme and poor Jimmy has had to resort to "chemicals." You now enter his mind, and while it is filled with chemicals, the game brings along plenty of gameplay twists to keep it interesting. As you uncover the truth, Jimmy remembers that he also had a burning passion to play the guitar, and decided to dedicate a riff to playing every time you do something really really good. The riff is so awesome that it is the only one he will ever play for you, but you can ask anyone, it IS that awesome. Now, Jimmy also remembers that his real problem, all along, was that he was just really, really, really stupid. It's so hard not to reveal anything, but let me just say that Jimmy ends up talking about electricity, wanting to become a mad scientist, which Bjorn approves of probably because he wants to use it for vengence-driven tasks, but as of right now that is all speculation, as part of the beauty and artistry of this masterpiece is that you are left to figure out the meaning behind some things,. It's all in the experience. The issue arrives in that Jimmy is really, really, really stupid, and this prevents him from making any relavant or accurate statement. How will Jimmy reinvent himself? Will Bjorn ever come to peace with all of those who have wronged him? Find out all of this and more in Peggle, which is such an inspirational, touching, relatable experience for all.
"TWO F***ING PIXELS AWAY FROM HITTING THAT LAST F***ING RED PEG"/10
On a personal level, this game means much more than even this review could express. Please, please buy this game. Support the amazing philosophers who went above and beyond the definition of a "game." You could not possibly regret it.