Kill 'em all in 2D and 3D!
User reviews: Mixed (74 reviews)
Release Date: Dec 19, 2007
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About This Game

Take out dozens of enemies, traps and other dangers with your knife, hand gun, machine gun, grenade launcher, satchel charges or sniper rifle!

6 varying levels taking place in the desert, jungle or city!

Fast action 3D platform gaming with classic 2D gameplay!

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • OS: Windows XP, Vista, 7
    • Processor: 1000 MHz
    • Memory: 256 MB RAM
    • Graphics: 2nd generation 'hardware TnL videocards with 64 MB memory such as: ATI Radeon 7500 or Nvidia Geforce 2
    • DirectX: Version 9.0c
    • Hard Drive: 800 MB available space
Helpful customer reviews
10 of 13 people (77%) found this review helpful
0.3 hrs on record
Posted: February 16
+Jerma did a video

-Awful presentation
-Atrocious A.I.
-The first section is one of the most frustrating levels in history
-Not even funny bad

1/10 - Abysmal
I seriously only bought this game because Jerma did a video on it and it was hilarious. Plus it was on sale for like 40 cents. It's not even like Superman 64 or Sonic '06 with the whole "so bad it's good" thing, so I can't even recommend it on that merit.
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7 of 8 people (88%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
1.9 hrs on record
Posted: March 15
I did not play this game. I endured it. This product fails in almost every regard.

The graphics and animations are terrible, they look barely better than the original Playstation.

The sounds are generic and often are implemented wrong. In the level where you destroy 12 cent's sports car the baseball bat makes a clanging sound even when you miss. On multiple occasions, I've heard enemies death sound effects when I plant explosives or pick up extra health.

The controls are terrible and you will die repeatedly (or at least more than usual) if you do not rebind them. The down button crouches, but the up button makes you crouch and move forward. Jump and melee are 1 and 2 for some inexplicable reason.

The combat is mindless and unfair. You just aim at an enemy and open fire with your infinite pistol or machine gun until they die. You will take hits from the enemies no matter how good you get. The game hides instant death traps behind foreground objects, and I have had humvees drive through walls and kill me.

In addition to ALL OF THIS, the game is glitchy. As I said before, humvees will occasionally drive through walls and kill you, falling off a building can crash the game, and I've even been hit by a humvee through a wall and ended up outside the play area. I was promptly run over by a humvee that drove through a building.

In short, this game is terrible in every way. Every way except its enjoyability. For some strange reason, I found an odd charm to it. Its story was as cliche as possible and the gameplay really shouldn't have been fun, but it kind of was. If you like games that are so bad that they're kind of fun, then this game could be worth picking up. For everyone else though, I would highly recommend you stay away.
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17 of 27 people (63%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
2.2 hrs on record
Posted: March 9
This was hilariously bizarre in the best possible way. This game is the exact opposite of what Spec Ops: The Line was trying to do, and the results are just fantastic.

Here are a few sample activities you will experience while playing Alpha Zylon:

- being chased by a Hummer only for it to blow up after you run for so long
- attacking hostages to free them from captivity
- witness the death of your commanding officer, only to see him perfectly fine 2 episodes later
- blow up a bridge in a desolate Brazilian village for no reason
- become a rooftop crime fighting vigilante while rich white people give you health packs (I cannot make this crap up)
- beat on notorious gang member "12 Cent's" new car with a baseball bat until it blows up
- live through an onslaught of gang members and hummers in a first person shooting segment (I had a Hummer climb over the wall and fall on me more than once. The first time was admittedly pretty amusing.)

And yes, that is only a few of the activities you will experience. I actually recommend playing this once, just to question what the devs were thinking when they made this game. It's a memorable experience, to say in the least.

And yes, I did beat it, dear God.
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14 of 23 people (61%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
0.9 hrs on record
Posted: February 8
Have you ever played a game that is so bad that it's good? No?
Well you need to make Alpha Zylon stay in your library then.

You play as a badass soldier who rely only on his tiny little knife to fight the armed enemies.
You will have your unlimited ammo guns later in the game because why not.
Each level have different objectives and yeah different traps and enemies.

And please throw out your logic while playing this game.
This is a video game, nothing is weird.
Although I admit there is a racist in the city level where you fight "rooftop thugs" that's all black-men and their leader is a white-man called "12 cent"
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7 of 10 people (70%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
2.4 hrs on record
Posted: March 4
Kill enemies with your tiny knife, blow up cars by shooting them multiple times in the door, and rescue hostages by stabbing them in the head, and mutter your iconic catch phrase: Manganoochatrelacanootratreladeb. And that's just a taste of the action.



10/10 would say catch phrase again.
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