Kill 'em all in 2D and 3D!
User reviews:
Overall:
Mixed (103 reviews) - 61% of the 103 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Dec 19, 2007

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About This Game

Take out dozens of enemies, traps and other dangers with your knife, hand gun, machine gun, grenade launcher, satchel charges or sniper rifle!

6 varying levels taking place in the desert, jungle or city!

Fast action 3D platform gaming with classic 2D gameplay!

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • OS: Windows XP, Vista, 7
    • Processor: 1000 MHz
    • Memory: 256 MB RAM
    • Graphics: 2nd generation 'hardware TnL videocards with 64 MB memory such as: ATI Radeon 7500 or Nvidia Geforce 2
    • DirectX: Version 9.0c
    • Storage: 800 MB available space
Customer reviews
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Overall:
Mixed (103 reviews)
Recently Posted
Handsome Jack
( 1.0 hrs on record )
Posted: April 8
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare copied this game
Helpful? Yes No Funny
jbd_man
( 4.3 hrs on record )
Posted: March 14
Snake 'round. 10/10

Worth $0.99 all day every day join my Alpha Zylon Clan. We free all da hostages. BABADABAHADBA
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Snao
( 0.3 hrs on record )
Posted: March 7
Funny for about 16 minutes.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Meiling
( 0.1 hrs on record )
Posted: February 12
No,Just.. NO
Helpful? Yes No Funny
PM_ME_YOUR_BOOBS
( 0.1 hrs on record )
Posted: February 2
This game is a piece of ♥♥♥♥. You start the game and you're forced to step on mines. Sure there are some points where you can jump over, but very difficult to impossible. I mean, what the hell? I can hardly go 10 yards away from the beginning point of this game, and you sell that to me on Steam? Please don't become a place of junk game collection, Steam.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
elBenyo
( 0.6 hrs on record )
Posted: January 22
I played the first level and here's what happened. I had to map the keys with Xpadder to a 360 controller because the defaults require 0 and 1 as keys and my laptop has fourth row keys for numbers (Zero and One are on opposite sides). Now instead of changing them I decided to skip/upgrade straight to a controller but it doesnt change the horrible basics of control in the game. First flaw, left and right are called left and right but up and down are labeled forwards and back which is the opposite of intuitive. The enemies are either blind and deaf or they see you from off screen and when you crouch you move slowly foward. I felt like I was playing a lighting demo and the game was coded in an hour to use said lighting. Lame.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
ladiusswine
( 0.2 hrs on record )
Posted: January 9
I don't think you could understand why this is a recommended game without playing it.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
I'M A LEMON!
( 0.6 hrs on record )
Posted: January 3
This game is great! It's fun for anyone and totally worth $4.99! Totally! Completely! Buy it!
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Potatotime5
( 0.6 hrs on record )
Posted: December 28, 2015
Spent 11 minutes playing all 3 levels. Broke the three basic levels. Then the game crashed so hard, I couldn't get out of it.
10/10 would spen 50 Cents for 11 minutes of fun again.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Cute Little Carrot
( 0.7 hrs on record )
Posted: November 24, 2015
It is such an amazing game... If you want to get a little bit frustrated (only a tiny bit), and want to laugh a lot at the game "mechanics", you should definitely buy it.

If you're tight on budget, you should probably spend your money elsewhere
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Blinkdog
( 3.7 hrs on record )
Posted: November 8, 2015
5min of gameplay (i have a full commentary free run of all 3 levels on my channel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCLeTB9oO6s
the level select screen was black for me but i saw a vid of it so i knew where to click. if you get this L1 is on the top part, L2 is in the middle, & L3 is on the lower part.

~ABOUT THIS GAME~
Game type-3d sidescroller/FPS
* 3 levels with 2 boards each (6 in all)
* The 2nd parts are fps but only the 3rd level give you an area you can move around in.

~MY OPINION~
This game isn't something you would call good in any way but it does have more than a few lol moments. The game isn't all that long ether but level 2 can be difficult and i have to admit part 2 of the 3rd board was the most enjoyable part of the game.

If you like this review check out my steam group
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/Blinkdog
Helpful? Yes No Funny
azzure
( 0.8 hrs on record )
Posted: October 19, 2015
i've never had to hold off enemy reinforcements for the longest 5 minutes in my life.

big pro right there +++
Helpful? Yes No Funny
⎛⎝ᅚ🍜ᅚ⎠⎞
( 5.2 hrs on record )
Posted: October 8, 2015
gud gaem wil buy agen
























































lol no
Helpful? Yes No Funny
SALMON, LORD OF SINDER
( 1.0 hrs on record )
Posted: October 8, 2015
Waiting for the beta
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Holla Holla Get Dolla
( 1.0 hrs on record )
Posted: October 7, 2015
It melted my super titan tower of a computer so play at your own risk.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Smeddy Too
( 0.4 hrs on record )
Posted: September 3, 2015
Alpha Zylon is a video game that you play.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Gomi Day
( 0.2 hrs on record )
Posted: September 3, 2015
this game truly deserves to be the new game that people maliciously gift to one another.

if the devs lowered the price, they would probably make a killing via joke gifts.

that said, well. nothing needs to be said. just watch the video.

that's literally all you need to know.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
DFSGam3r
( 1.1 hrs on record )
Posted: August 31, 2015
If you like a game where you need to be very accurate but the gun shoots by itself....then this is the perfect game for you!
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Errorbis
( 1.6 hrs on record )
Posted: August 21, 2015
Best game 10/10
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Kellond (See Bio)
( 0.6 hrs on record )
Posted: August 20, 2015
awesome!
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 30 days
2 of 3 people (67%) found this review helpful
Recommended
1.0 hrs on record
Posted: April 8
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare copied this game
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
91 of 113 people (81%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.5 hrs on record
Posted: July 23, 2014
Really, really bad game, even for 2007.

I've played the worst PS1 games you can find, and this still doesn't hold anything to them.

Don't buy this game.

I made this video so you can see for your self.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MugEn_ysMSc
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
264 of 382 people (69%) found this review helpful
50 people found this review funny
Recommended
1.5 hrs on record
Posted: July 17, 2014
What other game gives you side-scrolling platforming AND first-person shooting? Exactly.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
75 of 94 people (80%) found this review helpful
45 people found this review funny
61 of 73 people (84%) found this review helpful
54 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
180.1 hrs on record
Posted: December 21, 2014
I use this a weapon, I bought copies of this on sale and send it to people as a passive aggresive way of driving them mad.

When a game is so bad I use it to break connections with people that I don't want to talk to, you know you have done badly.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
36 of 41 people (88%) found this review helpful
10 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.1 hrs on record
Posted: January 5, 2015
Where to start, I could call this the worst game ever made and I wouldn't be wrong. To truely understand just how horrific this game is a person needs only turn it on for the first time. I am pretty certain I got this game for less than a dollar, and that is one dollar I'll never see back.

This game is worse than one of those free flash games you get from a shady website that pop's up while your surfing for porn in the middle of the night. In fact many of those games are far superior to this mess.

I'd say this game is like getting a root canel, as the numbing agent starts to wear off and you can feel the dentist begin to kill the roots in your teeth. Except having that done is probably more fun than this flaming pile of refuge.

Please do yourself a favor, take that dollar you would have spend playing this game, set it on fire and place the charred remains between two slices of bread.... you would get more value out of your money this way...

Although if you do buy the game, keep in mind you'll join the ranks of gamers like myself who love picking up crap...
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
27 of 30 people (90%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
1.9 hrs on record
Posted: March 15, 2015
I did not play this game. I endured it. This product fails in almost every regard.

The graphics and animations are terrible, they look barely better than the original Playstation.

The sounds are generic and often are implemented wrong. In the level where you destroy 12 cent's sports car the baseball bat makes a clanging sound even when you miss. On multiple occasions, I've heard enemies death sound effects when I plant explosives or pick up extra health.

The controls are terrible and you will die repeatedly (or at least more than usual) if you do not rebind them. The down button crouches, but the up button makes you crouch and move forward. Jump and melee are 1 and 2 for some inexplicable reason.

The combat is mindless and unfair. You just aim at an enemy and open fire with your infinite pistol or machine gun until they die. You will take hits from the enemies no matter how good you get. The game hides instant death traps behind foreground objects, and I have had humvees drive through walls and kill me.

In addition to ALL OF THIS, the game is glitchy. As I said before, humvees will occasionally drive through walls and kill you, falling off a building can crash the game, and I've even been hit by a humvee through a wall and ended up outside the play area. I was promptly run over by a humvee that drove through a building.

In short, this game is terrible in every way. Every way except its enjoyability. For some strange reason, I found an odd charm to it. Its story was as cliche as possible and the gameplay really shouldn't have been fun, but it kind of was. If you like games that are so bad that they're kind of fun, then this game could be worth picking up. For everyone else though, I would highly recommend you stay away.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
244 of 412 people (59%) found this review helpful
31 people found this review funny
Recommended
5.0 hrs on record
Posted: July 15, 2014
This game is amazing and truly "Has It All": graphics, sounds, images, keyboard buttons that sometimes do things, little tiny people who aren't real and don't look real but you can pretend that they are (some are good, some are evil), and much much more. You are a dude with a knife who must stop a gigantic drug cartel from making more drugs! But how can you do that? Well you stab many people until they all die. Then you will have bested the drug war and come out a hero. "Winners do not use drugs" - George H. W. Bush Jr.

This game was worth somebody else's $4.24 and possibly more! Will play again! Join my Alpha Zylon clan, coming up soon!
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
26 of 33 people (79%) found this review helpful
18 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 21, 2014
Imagine you fell off a bridge into cold water, then four school trucks fell off that bridge and landed on you. The trucks set on fire and explode incinerating your crushed corpse untill you are a pile of ash. That ash was eaten by a dog and then ♥♥♥♥ out and thrown at Kim jong un, kim launches 4 nuclear missiles that destroy humanity and erases all life from earth. (I didn't know where I was going with that story) Essentialy this game is cancer...
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
69 of 112 people (62%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
15 of 18 people (83%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
0.3 hrs on record
Posted: February 16, 2015
+Jerma did a video

-Awful presentation
-Atrocious A.I.
-The first section is one of the most frustrating levels in history
-Not even funny bad

1/10 - Abysmal
I seriously only bought this game because Jerma did a video on it and it was hilarious. Plus it was on sale for like 40 cents. It's not even like Superman 64 or Sonic '06 with the whole "so bad it's good" thing, so I can't even recommend it on that merit.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
28 of 45 people (62%) found this review helpful
15 people found this review funny
Recommended
2.2 hrs on record
Posted: March 9, 2015
This was hilariously bizarre in the best possible way. This game is the exact opposite of what Spec Ops: The Line was trying to do, and the results are just fantastic.

Here are a few sample activities you will experience while playing Alpha Zylon:

- being chased by a Hummer only for it to blow up after you run for so long
- attacking hostages to free them from captivity
- witness the death of your commanding officer, only to see him perfectly fine 2 episodes later
- blow up a bridge in a desolate Brazilian village for no reason
- become a rooftop crime fighting vigilante while rich white people give you health packs (I cannot make this crap up)
- beat on notorious gang member "12 Cent's" new car with a baseball bat until it blows up
- live through an onslaught of gang members and hummers in a first person shooting segment (I had a Hummer climb over the wall and fall on me more than once. The first time was admittedly pretty amusing.)

And yes, that is only a few of the activities you will experience. I actually recommend playing this once, just to question what the devs were thinking when they made this game. It's a memorable experience, to say in the least.

And yes, I did beat it, dear God.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
17 of 26 people (65%) found this review helpful
13 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
1.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 31, 2014
Holy ♥♥♥♥ this is hilarious. How is such a game on Steam? It's $0.49 so I'm gonna buy a bunch and gift it to everyone.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
7 of 11 people (64%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.3 hrs on record
Posted: February 2, 2015
Do you hate yourself and want to waste your time with no reward aside knowing you could have done something, anything better than this? Then this is the game for you.

Seriously though, its not even worth the play through to have some laughs. Its just overly frustrating ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥t. Play at your own risk, or because you need something to do while you take a break from watching paint dry.
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25 of 47 people (53%) found this review helpful
18 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.6 hrs on record
Posted: December 1, 2014
Is Bond too boring? Bauer too bland? Bourne too blasé? Throw all that other junk out the window and step into the boots of our unnamed, unburdened-with-backstory white male hero, who after copious amounts of debate and study I have dubbed Paul. Paul is the single most manly person alive, with baseball hat and sunglasses combined with his trademark tactical.. shirt.
You may be asking, but what about the game? I will inform you. Upon starting Alpha Zylon, three tantalizing choices of mission await. I, like any good person, played them in order, and will describe them as such.
DESERT WMD SEARCH: Run through the desert avoiding tiny mines, LMG-wielding Middle Eastern people, AK-47 Middle Eastern people, and white Hummers driven by no one. If you survive long enough to reach the bunker, watch out! Bombs are falling everywhere. Proceed on past the bunkers while carefully knifing every AK wielding terrorist to proceed to the second stage of the first mission, a sniping mission set in a bustling plaza.
Unfortunately, I am not as manly or skilled as Paul, and this is where my first mission ended because despite my sniping expertise in keeping the nuclear weapons traders alive, I couldn't kill the ghost hummer that shows up to buy nuclear weapons without also killing the trader. I hung my head in shame and moved on.
JUNGLE PREDATOR RAMBO PREDATOR: In this scenario, you must stealthily knife white blond dudes as you avoid caltrops that are, at best, eight pixels wide before deploying and approximately the same brown as everything else. This is a challenge, but one I was mostly up to (aside from when the caltrops sucked me in when I clearly made the jump over them). If you progress far enough in JPRP, you can save some brown hostages in white suits who are either waiters or just impeccably dressed, who then speak incredibly racist gibberish and run away. I died too many times to caltrops and had to once again bow out gracefully.
MANHATTAN CHASE: Run along rooftops after speaking with the exact same model of the hostages from JPRP, now a rich penthouse owner in New York. As you run, shoot approximately 200 black people with your Desert Eagle and avoid the mini-gun toting black people hanging out of windows. This is a 2D platformer where you jump and shoot, but unfortunately my journey ultimately ended early here too. After two very successful runs both culminated in me falling through a building and to my death, the game crashed and Paul presumably retired. I only know this section is officially called Manhattan Chase because upon crashing, Windows told me that was what it was called, leading me to believe each level has its own executable. That's dedication, folks. That or the third mission's name is the executable's name for all three which doesn't make sense but not much in Alpha Zylon does.
After I finished fighting across three very racist and confusing and deadly environments, I realized Alpha Zylon isn't a game. It's a work of art, a statement if you will. Much like Alpha Zylon is hell, so is war. War is hell. War is often racist and confusing and innocent people, like Paul McDiesalot, often get hurt. So is Alpha Zylon a very shoddy 2D platformer with 3D sniping segments, dotted throughout by strange racism and broken English? No. Alpha Zylon is a look at war through the lens of gaming, as Spec Ops the Line approached but done much more masterfully here, of course. Alpha Zylon is a stunning and emotional look at how war can ruin lives in all manner of places, no matter what race you are.

A quick note I originally forgot to add, the music in this game is sublime. Ranging from strange percussion to insane techno desert loops in the sniping mission, Alpha Zylon's composer is a virtuoso who can stand next to the likes of Elfman, Williams, and Zimmer, elevating Alpha Zylon to cinematic perfection.
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1 of 2 people (50%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
1.1 hrs on record
Posted: July 11, 2015
How did this even get on steam? This is one of the worst games to date to make it on to this platform! Every animation is crap, all enemies look the same and they're often found stuck in walls! This is really, truly awful. The only thing this game is good for is trolling friends, it's not even funny to play by yourself, just rage inducing. Avoid it like the Plague.
Your welcome.
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1 of 2 people (50%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
0.1 hrs on record
Posted: April 23, 2015
I knew there was a company that has crappy games on Steam. I forgot the name of the company. Thanks to Jim Sterling I now know the name. STRATEGY FIRST. STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS COMPANY AND IT'S GAMES. Please. This game is total crap. Steam get some Quality control. This game is broken, does not work, racist, and horrible graphics. Couldn't play no more than 5 minutes. STAY AWAY FROM THIS COMPANY'S GAMES.
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14 of 29 people (48%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.9 hrs on record
Posted: February 8, 2015
Have you ever played a game that is so bad that it's good? No?
Well you need to make Alpha Zylon stay in your library then.

You play as a badass soldier who rely only on his tiny little knife to fight the armed enemies.
You will have your unlimited ammo guns later in the game because why not.
Each level have different objectives and yeah different traps and enemies.

And please throw out your logic while playing this game.
This is a video game, nothing is weird.
Although I admit there is a racist in the city level where you fight "rooftop thugs" that's all black-men and their leader is a white-man called "12 cent"
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14 of 29 people (48%) found this review helpful
18 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 21, 2014
After playing this game, I have developed an incurable malignant tumor in my frontal lobe. Fortunately, this turn of events will stop the pain that I feel when I even glance toward this game.
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13 of 27 people (48%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Recommended
9.2 hrs on record
Posted: June 11, 2015
This is the best game of All Time
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