Enjoy the uncluttered and peculiar aesthetics of Pretentious Game and plunge wholeheartedly into a poetic and deep story.
User reviews:
Very Positive (222 reviews) - 81% of the 222 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: May 20, 2014

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Feature List

- A tale about love, sadness and pursuit of happiness
- Marvelous music by Erik Satie
- Innovative gameplay at each level
- Multi-awarded game

About This Game

Have you ever realized how words are important? And how they can drive our emotions?

Enjoy the uncluttered and peculiar aesthetics of Pretentious Game and plunge wholeheartedly into a poetic and deep story.

Follow the adventures of a blue square passionately in love with his pink sweetheart, and help him bring his feelings to light.

Read between the lines of Pretentious Game to progress through the story, and let your feelings overcome you…

System Requirements

    • OS: Windows XP 32 bit
    • Processor: Core 2 Duo
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: 3D accelerated
    • DirectX: Version 9.0
    • Network: Broadband Internet connection
    • Storage: 60 MB available space
    • Sound Card: Compatible SB16
Customer reviews
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Very Positive (222 reviews)
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139 reviews match the filters above ( Mostly Positive)
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
68 of 88 people (77%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.9 hrs on record
Posted: October 4, 2014
Well, it lives up to its name. The game takes five minutes, and has maybe 15 screens of minimalist retro gaming. It's pretty in its simplicity, and it challenges some gaming assumptions, but honestly if I had paid for it by itself rather than as part of a bundle, I'd be upset about it. It's a freeware game and has no more depth than that. Nice idea, decent execution, but so short it's embarrassing that they charge for it.
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79 of 107 people (74%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
0.8 hrs on record
Posted: July 10, 2014
Pretentious Game sets itself up from the onset as something of a farce; a parody of games accused (whether justifiably or not) of being pretentious, overselling and alienating themselves by trying to tell a story that pretends to be deeper than it really is. In this way, PG had the chance to be a clever commentary on how many perceive these games, but instead it falls nauseatingly over itself in its attempts to make the most unquestionably pretentious game the internet could think up.

PG is a story of lost love; soul mates turned divorcees, children abandoning their mother, players losing themselves to drunkenness, and death taking them all in the end. It's depressing to say the least, or it could be if it managed to make me feel anything at all. PG constructs itself as a tone deaf joke; content to paint a shallow picture of life with its simplistic blocks, never stopping to attempt to reflect the real joy and heartache we all experience, while reveling in its own self loathing. Any narrative that's left is nothing more than one individuals misguided view of reality, stemming either from their own experiences or what they perceive them to be like having not experienced them firsthand.

It almost seems irrelevant to talk about PG's gameplay, as through 45 minute game it changes and breaks its own rules so often for the sake of its rubbish narrative that's there is little left to define it by. It's a platformer that attempts to hide its blandness behind worthless dialog and an abundance of underdeveloped mechanics, lacking in every regard and managing to be incredible tedious despite how little you are required to do to complete levels. There's nothing here I could pick out as engaging or original, similarly matching the narrative its emptiness and attempts to emulate other games but barely scratching the surface of their design.

Despite the loathsome name, I had hope that Keybol's square love story would be more than first impressions lead me to believe. Instead it's exactly what it says it is: a pretentious game that completely misses the point of the games it is making fun of, while simultaneously showcasing how tone deft many are to other games dubbed as "pretentious". It's memorably only for its failure at being nothing more than a misguided incarnation of overbearing, forced emotion and lopsided mechanics used improperly to move the story along. As a stalwart defender against the internet's unwavering determination to call everything deeper than the average shooter a pretentious mess, I say without reservation that yes, this is a pretentious game that should be ignored and forgotten in the hopes others don't use it as a blueprint for anything more than how not to attempt to say something deeper with a video game.
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47 of 58 people (81%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.5 hrs on record
Posted: November 20, 2014
Four chapters, "More chapters soon", and "Like this App on Facebook" is what the main menu looks like.
Seriously? Five eurobux for that?
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40 of 51 people (78%) found this review helpful
8 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.7 hrs on record
Posted: July 18, 2014
if you wish "thomas was alone" was shorter and dumber then this is the game for you, you cretin
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33 of 41 people (80%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
0.9 hrs on record
Posted: January 13, 2015
I really wanted to like this game, and if I hadn't played the last chapter, I probably would have.

The actual game is entertaining enough, with some fun mechanics aided by and aiding the story in turn. It's uncluttered and emotionally evocative without being, oddly, pretentious about it. But the last chapter feels incredibly forced in how it tries to tie everything together. It was sort of like seeing a writer put themselves into a very interesting premise and then being slightly unsure of how to resolve it.

I can't recommend this game because it struggles and falters at the finish line, but I wouldn't go so far as to dissuade someone from playing it. It's a nice walk in the park, but it rains at the end.
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36 of 47 people (77%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
1.2 hrs on record
Posted: July 11, 2014
It's five dollars for the last 1/4 of the game (you can play the first 3/4 online).

The game was completely unplayable for the first month it was out (it even went on sale while it was still unplayable!) and with boring, extremely short gameplay (under and hour), the game is exactly what it says: pretentious.
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34 of 44 people (77%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.4 hrs on record
Posted: March 26, 2015
Pretentious Game certainly lives up to it's name. It is pretentious. However, if it wants a title descriptive of the experience, "Bad Game" would also suffice.

It does tell a very basic story in some kinda interesting ways (which I don't want to go into in any detail, potentially spoiling it for anyone), but ultimately the gameplay leaves a lot to be desired. It is very basic 2D platforming. There are occasional twists such as clicking on characters to hold them in place, or walking on invisible platforms. The first time it introduces these mechanics it explains them via storyline related text, but in additional cases these are completely unexplained. On one screen I was left completely perplexed as to what I was supposed to be doing until I discovered some invisible platforms to which there was absolutely no indication that they were there. That is just bad game design.

There are four short chapters. It won't take you more than half an hour to complete the entire game. There are claims that more chapters will be available "soon", but other reviews from 6 months ago state the same thing, so whether or not these chapters will ever exist remains to be seen.

Ultimately, it's trying to do the whole Thomas Was Alone kind of thing, but does it much less successfully, and with bad gameplay mechanics. Not recommended.
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24 of 29 people (83%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
0.1 hrs on record
Posted: September 12, 2015
A very short and simple but brillant puzzle game that tells a short and touching story about love. Which can be completed in a few minutes.
Do I recommend this game? Yes!
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19 of 22 people (86%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.8 hrs on record
Posted: July 27, 2015
A game that is exactly what it says that it is. Pretentious Game may try to lull you into its grasp by its self-aware title, but do not be fooled, it is exactly one of those Newgrounds games where a thing loves another thing and then it conveys itself through tedious platformer mechanics.

While a few of the puzzles are somewhat interesting, the game mechanics are rudimentary and the storytelling is outright bland, bordering on awful. A girl square loves a boy square, one of the squares cheats on another, yet another square dies, etc. While you can try to derive meaning from how the little poetic bits of narration correlate to the mechanics you're meant to understand on the level, the game has very, very little to offer beyond that.

It is a very simple, uninteresting piece of work I do not recommend getting even for a fraction of the price while on sale. If you're interested in these types of games, I'd suggest something with a more powerful narrative to it (such as dys4ia) or something with more creative mechanics (such as problem attic - though problem attic is a very difficult game to swallow, it's certainly more interesting than this waste of time).
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19 of 25 people (76%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
1.4 hrs on record
Posted: June 29, 2014
It's cute, but it's really just a very bland puzzle platformer. It's very, well, pretentious, but it doesn't play on that theme in any meaningful way. It's more an example than a commentary.

I wouldn't pay full price for it; there's maybe an hour of gameplay tops.

I hope you like that one Satie piece.
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Recently Posted
Steven Cojo
0.9 hrs
Posted: August 14
Probably a game with the potential of "Thomas was alone", having the same simplicity and some certain depth, lacking a fancy narrator voice tho and without any uplifting scenario, and yet easy and intuitive, but a repetive soundtrack and kind of a sad story. If you can get it for cheap, try it out.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.7 hrs
Posted: August 1
40 minutes of mind puzzle platformer. You must wonder.. how fun is it to play as a square block that jump and solve puzzle while read though some pretty interesting story? You will actually be very surprised.

4 capters is avaible. it took me around 10 mintues per chapter to complet since i am a really bad jumper for most platformer game. Very interesting background story for each chapters.

Don't really have achievements and I hope it gets added soon.

Music is really sweet and smoothing.. graphics is just about none-existant but i like the style...

Quick puzzle game.. 8/10.. play.. enjoy.. delete when you have 1 hour spare.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
1.7 hrs
Posted: July 23
I'd give this game a solid 3.75 out of 5. Clever game that conveys that trite pretentiousness of indie games, some of the controls are a little finnicky though. Overall great, short game.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.4 hrs
Posted: July 21
This is a game you should play in your browser on Newgrounds. It isn't as subversive or as clever or as scathing as you want; it's just depressing -- and really makes me want to play Thomas Was Alone.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
An Irate Capybara
0.9 hrs
Posted: July 10
Only gamers with truly refined tastes - such as myself - will appreciate this fine parody. Others simpy won't get it, and there's no use trying to explain.

Buy it for $1 or less, because it's short and it makes you make stairs out of the characters sometimes. Remember that from Thomas? I do.

I do....
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.8 hrs
Posted: July 5
Definitely lives up to its name. It's cute though.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.7 hrs
Posted: June 29
If you were like me and thought this game was going to be based around meta-commentary about meaning in art (more specifically video games), it's not. It's a standard "tragic" love story with a tongue-in-cheek title and tries to use mechanics as metaphor by explaining the metaphor so you understand the mechanics.

You can get the same experience by reading online amateur fiction in-between playing levels in a flash game. Except it wouldn't cost anything and you could learn something worthwhile in the process.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
5.5 hrs
Posted: June 16
Ive played it a few times already. To me it seems theyre going to add more to the game since the screen says more will be added so i feel the $4 is worth it. I really enjoyed the 2nd and 3rd chapter.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
0.6 hrs
Posted: May 20
Such a lovely little game! Honestly, the first chapter is by far the best. It's just a few minutes, but that's all it takes.
I remember that game being browser based some years ago. But It's even better on steam, because here can support whoever made this gem by paying so little for such big feels.

Second time playing, i knew the story. Cried anyway.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
TechniLog | kickback.com
0.1 hrs
Posted: May 19
Buy it. It doesn't look like much from the begining but this game hits you right in the feels..
Helpful? Yes No Funny