The Real Texas is an action RPG taking place in Strange, Texas: a Kafka-esque parody stuck halfway between modern-day America and olden-days, RPG England.
All Reviews:
9 user reviews - Need more user reviews to generate a score
Release Date:
Jul 12, 2016
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Buy The Real Texas

Buy The Real Texas - Dusty Skies Edition

Includes 2 items: The Real Texas, The Real Texas - Part 2, Part 1 - Cellpop Goes Out At Night

-10%
$17.08
 

Reviews

“... an extremely well-written adventure through an incredibly quirky universe.”
8.5/10 – Destructoid

“... The Real Texas is a charming and joyous mixture of ye olde and yee-haw.”
76/100 – PC Gamer UK (Print Edition, October 2012)

“... expertly straddle[s] the line between absurd humour and touching poignancy.”
The Gauntlet

About This Game

OUT NOW - The Real Texas - Part 2, Part 1 - Cellpop Goes Out At Night


Texas is launching on Steam with an all-new mini-sequel, Cellpop Goes Out At Night. The sequel is included in the Dusty Skies Edition. Buy them together and save 10%!

OVERVIEW


"These days, folks have a lot of funny ideas about what makes a Real Cowboy..."

The Real Texas is an action adventure game that plays like a mashup of Zelda: Link to the Past and Ultima VI.

Sam, an ordinary Texas rancher, is on holiday in England when he steps through a blue portal and into a purgatory dimension, Strange:

Here, a friendly witch is handing out guns to visitors. A crazed, German-speaking wizard hurls elecbolts from his castle. And upriver, something's going on that involves a lot of chickens.

Stuck in the middle sits Sam, a Real Cowboy.

... But that's just his job title back home-- it's not obvious that it's of any practical help here!

USER REVIEWS


The game has been out for awhile-- here's some reviews from other sites:

  • "This thing is like some bizarre voxel dream, with its square, swaggerin' cowboys and its castles and insane German wizard-scientists and talking rats . . . It's fun and beautiful and a little bit rough on purpose, and I suppose I'll never forget it." - Abram03
  • "i will never forget this surreal nostalgic ride. i haven't had such a rewarding experience in a long time." - countersweet
  • "This game is incredible and I cannot recommend it enough to everyone." - Microwave

FEATURES


  • Kill things with six types of classic cowboy and fantasy weapons
  • Rummage through peoples' houses without fear of retribution while they go about their daily business
  • Help people out with their PROBLEMS (*rolls eyes*) often by shooting your gun many, many times-- just like real life!
  • Many special items and powerups, optional areas, and two types of chicken cutlets to collect
  • Wear a bullet-proof vest underneath a sequined evening-gown if you want
  • Supports all main game/life perlis including boss battles, enemies, traps, the estate tax

IMPROVEMENTS AND OTHER NOTES

For the Steam release I added achievements, improved the framerate, added more compatibility options, remastered the sound effects and optimized things generally.


Even without the mini-sequel it's a lot improved over the original release. But I was careful to NOT ret-conn the original game. People seemed to really like it, so I wanted to respect that by not changing it up in any way.

To complete The Real Texas takes maybe about 10 hours, depending on what you want to do. Cellpop Goes Out At Night might take about 1-2 hours. Both the main game and the sequel have lots of secrets and weird things to uncover. In fact, there are some things that still haven't been figured out (to my knowledge) in four years... So I made it an achievement. Ha-ha! Good luck. :)

I've put a lot of love into both of these games, and I hope you will find them special and enjoyable. Thanks!

System Requirements

Windows
macOS
    Minimum:
    • OS *: Windows XP
    • Processor: Intel Core or better
    • Memory: 512 MB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 1.2 or better
    • Storage: 200 MB available space
    • Sound Card: DirectSound compatible
    Recommended:
    • OS *: Windows 7
    • Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo
    • Memory: 1 GB RAM
    • Graphics: GeForce, RADEON, or Intel HD-series
    • Storage: 200 MB available space
    • Sound Card: DirectSound compatible
* Starting January 1st, 2024, the Steam Client will only support Windows 10 and later versions.
    Minimum:
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.7*
    • Processor: Intel Core or better
    • Memory: 512 MB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 1.2 or better
    • Storage: 200 MB available space
    • Additional Notes: * should support 10.6 soon
    Recommended:
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.7*
    • Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo
    • Memory: 1 GB RAM
    • Graphics: GeForce, RADEON, or Intel HD-series
    • Storage: 200 MB available space
    • Additional Notes: * should support 10.6 soon
* Starting February 15, 2024, the Steam Client will no longer support 32-bit games or macOS 10.14 or lower.

What Curators Say

10 Curators have reviewed this product. Click here to see them.

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