Watch out. There's a musician mystery afoot. They've gone missing, mysteriously. So says Silver Pines, a Twin Peaks-inspired survival horror puzzler that's set to arrive next year, according to an announcement trailer that's just barged into my house in a trench coat, waving a gun about and demanding to know whether I did it.

No, I respond calmly, there are no missing musicians around here. For a moment, I fear he might notice the outline of a guitar's headstock buried under the carpet. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, he says, as all detective-ish types do. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

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Looking back on it, when I played a preview build of zoological band management game Rockbeasts earlier this year, I think I went along with it a bit too easily. I didn't question why people were now animals, how those animals had acquired the opposable thumbs necessary to play Black Sabbath riffs, or whether the bulldog version of Simon Cowell I signed up with at the end might have any ulterior motives.

Luckily, the clearly Bojack Horseman-inspired game about trying to get some musicians you've dubbed Pearl Spam to their gig on time, so they can jam out in their silly hats, has a gotten a fresh trailer at today's Galaxies showcase that asks some of those questions for me.

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The bit of reporting I'm about to relay to you probably isn't surprising, but it's worth making sure you've got a pillow on standby to scream into once you've digested it. Microsoft, they of more money than a company could ever need or know what to do with, have reportedly spent the last two years pushing Xbox to deliver profit margins which are well above the industry average. Cue all of the layoffs, cancellations, and shutterings.

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Ah Valve, you awful, giggling vultures. You terrible purveyors of mischief and misfortune. Weeks go past without you making any significant game-related announcements, and then you suddenly dropkick the entire Counter-Strike cosmetics economy into the sun.

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