It all ensures that Hades II is a game I officially never get bored of. But incidentally, in the words of everyone who used to like Ridley Scott, "♥♥♥♥ Prometheus!"

And I actually found it quite fun. Not on any story or atmosphere level, but the gameplay is very moreish, like potato chips.

I do appreciate it as a little narrative adventure snack with a unique art style and a solid core there. But where do the frogs come into all this?

After I've finished hosing off an entire two-story house, I think "♥♥♥♥, I probably used up half the state's annual rainfall doing that! The kids are going to be making their oatmeal with human spit."

It's the kind of RPG where you can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blow your nose until you've sunk eight points into nose-blowing.

You can stab a dude, vault over him, kick him towards a spike pit and be on your merry way, and then make your merry way back again 'cos he wasn't close enough to the spike pit.

May well be a significant stepping stone in the continuing evolution of the genre. It's broken the 3D barrier! Now, let's wait for something to come along that does that without looking like ass.

It's one step above mind-numbing idle games. And mind-numbing idle games are what’s going to keep us distracted while we’re riding the generator bikes in Google’s slave resorts in about 20 years.

It’s a small game by a small dev, and dull as it is, it’s trying so hard – like a puppy trying to climb up the side of a bath. Go on, give it a try. Post a review on Steam.

It’s actually quite fun. Not must-play material, though. It’s not hitting any beats we’ve never seen before, but the core combat is nicely and tightly designed.