The patch note is an underappreciated art form. Among the dry details of damage buffs and bug fixes are occasionally brilliant puns or revelatory details about the absurd complexity of videogames. Dwarf Fortress is the undisputed king of unintentionally hilarious updates ("Cleaned up the bear situation"), but we've also written about some of the all-time greats from Ark: Survival Evolved, Rust, and World of Warcraft.
Absurdity is always with us, though, and the good gods know we've needed every laugh we could find in 2017. To find the very best ones, I dove through the 2017 community updates and patch notes from all kinds of games. Deep, open-world survival games are always good for a laugh. After all, they model systems like pooping and sleeping, and a mention of "shitting the bed" is already 90 percent of a joke.
12/13
12/7
11/15
8/29
via reddit user u/nettech09
10/26
8/31
8/04
6/06
10/5
8/31
3/02
12/9
via reddit user u/zacrynix
12/12
11/28
via reddit user u/beerye
12/27
12/11
12/8
8/30
via reddit user u/everypostepic
8/2
5/31
As I slogged deeper and deeper into the year, dozens of tabs open across three monitors and a laptop, I started to get a little delirious. It was in this moment that I fell in love with the long-suffering community managers and blog writers who compile patch notes. These poor people cry out for help with little quips, "just to see if anyone is still reading this." My friends: I see you, and I love you.
12/18
10/12
9/15
via reddit user u/newbzoors
7/13
via reddit user u/flavahbeast
10/25
8/9
Another year over, a new one just begun, which means, impossibly, even more games.> But what about last year? Which were the games that most people were buying and, more importantly, playing? As is now something of a tradition, Valve have let slip a big ol’ breakdown of the most successful titles released on Steam over the past twelve months.
Below is the full, hundred-strong roster, complete with links to our coverage if you want to find out more about any of the games, or simply to marvel at how much seemed to happen in the space of 52 short weeks.
Astroneer, you may recall, is a crafty little survival game set in space. Chris gave it a look earlier this year, and developer System Era Softworks has been plugging away at it in Steam Early Access ever since. Its latest update is a doozy, and brings sweeping changes to the research system.
Under the new system, when you research item using a research chamber, you receive accumulated data in the form of 'bytes' rather than a random item. From there, you spend bytes on new blueprints via the new backpack catalog. You can earn bytes by researching research chests and resources, with more researchable items due in future updates.
The updated research chambers are at the heart of the new system, so System Era singled them out in the patch notes, saying:
"The Research Chamber uses the new streaming power system to operate. That means rather than having base modules use a power bar that has to continue refilling, modules using the new mechanic search the network for sources of power and then stay connected to them as long as the power keeps coming in."
Thanks to this new power system, players can also overclock their research chambers to improve their output. However, you can't stop the research process without destroying the research subject.
The research update also brought a few usability tweaks to the UI, an improved tutorial which keeps up with old saves, and automatic crash reporting to help with ongoing bug stomping. You can read the full patch notes, and a roadmap of upcoming content, here.