The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I've been messing around with the Skyrim Special Edition this evening, and along with comparing how it looks to the (unmodded) original, I've also got some information on the available settings and how well it performs. (You might also be interested in knowing how the Special Edition works with existing saved games and mods.)

Here's a look at the settings:

You can see there are three options for anti-aliasing: None, FXAA, and TAA. In other words, high, low, or off. There are tickboxes for screen space reflections, ambient occlusion, precipitation occlusion, snow shader, lens flare, and 64-bit render targets.

The in-game settings menu provides sliders for the fade distances of things like NPCs, items, objects, and grass, and there's also a depth of field slider.

One thing that stands out sort of immediately: there's no FOV slider. You can quickly adjust the FOV while playing by opening the console (~) and typing, for example, "FOV 90 90" or "FOV 110 110" (no quotes) but the absence of a slider is a bit perplexing considering the fact that the functionality is already there and has been for years.

As with the original Skyrim, Special Edition has a cap of 60 fps, though I get that 60 fps almost constantly on my GeForce GTX 980. Everywhere I go, whether running through the woods, riding across the plains, and even in Solitude where I started a fight that resulted in about a dozen guards and citizens all whomping on me at once, both indoors and outdoors, I never lost more than a few frames, and then only momentarily. It's been a smooth ride so far.

Which isn't to say this isn't still a Bethesda RPG. While the visuals have been improved, Skyrim is still Skyrim and the bugs and glitches that shipped with the original game are still there. Above, you can see the opening sequence, and how a random horse winds up getting in the way of the actors who are busy trying to execute me.

The horse became such a problem that the sequence stalled before the dragon could show up, so we all just stood around staring and waiting. After several minutes it was clear Mr. Ed wasn't going to be moved, so I had to restart. Skyrim! It hasn't changed much after all.

Finally, let's take a gander at how the Special Edition actually looks.

The images below were taken using the same saved game, first taking a screenshot in the original Skyrim, saving the game there, then transferring the save file to Skyrim Special Edition and loading it. So, what you're seeing is me standing in the same spot at the same time of day with the same weather conditions in both games. The image from classic Skyrim is on the left, and Special Edition is on the right. A handy slider lets you compare them.

This was taken near Riften, and you can see the colors in Special Edition are much richer. The sky is more blue and the yellow of the leaves is brighter. The water looks less greasy and oily as well.

Here's a glance toward Solitude, and in addition to slightly lusher plants and considerably bluer skies, you can see some additional details on the buildings, particularly the windmill in the top left corner. The lighting looks much better as well: it feels much more like actual daytime.

Here's the waterfall near Dragonbridge. Again, the skies are a much deeper blue, trees in the far distance look a trifle less cartoony, and the lighting of the landscape in the background gives more feeling of depth than the original.

Sunrise outside Markarth. Again, improved lighting makes the details of landscape in the distance, as well as the horse and cart, much easier to see. And we can also see some added details here and there, like the foliage along the staircase and cobblestone path.

It appears there haven't been improvements to the character models they're still pretty uggo though they look a bit better under the improved lighting. You can also see a few little bits of added foliage along the road.

Below, the images can be enlarged individually for a closer look.

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The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

With Skyrim: Special Edition arriving Thursday, we realized we had a few questions about how it's all going to work in terms of mods, saved games, and most importantly: modded saved games.

Here's what we know so far, and unfortunately it's not all good news. We'll update this post with any additional information we discover.

Skyrim and Skyrim Special Edition are two separate games

You probably know this one, but just in case: if you own Skyrim and its expansions, you'll get Skyrim Special Edition for free, and you don't need to worry about Skyrim SE overwriting or replacing your original copy of Skyrim.

They are two completely separate games. If you have saved games and installed mods for Skyrim, you will still be able to play them with your original copy of Skyrim after the Special Edition appears.

Existing unmodified saved games can be used with Skyrim SE

If you've got saved games from the original Skyrim, you can use them with Skyrim SE. According to an email from Bethesda, it's just a matter of copying and pasting the files:

"Existing save games from the original PC game will work in the PC version of Skyrim Special Edition. Simply copy your old saves from My Games/Skyrim to My Games/Skyrim Special Edition."

So, you'll be able to pick up in the Special Edition right where you left off in the original. This is only for unmodded saved games, though, and here comes the bad news.

Modded saved games most likely won't work at all with Skyrim SE

We haven't had a chance to test this yet (while we have review code for Skyrim SE, we can't play it until the actual launch time), but our understanding is that existing modded saves that is, saved games in which you used mods for the original Skyrim won't work at all with Skyrim SE.

Bethesda tells us this in their email:

"Only use original saves that have never been used with mods. Do not use your original saved game if this error appears when you load it in Skyrim Special Edition: This save relies on content that is no longer present."

I've been speaking with Dave Talamas, Community Manager of Nexus Mods today, and he's also pretty doubtful modded saves will work:

"Unfortunately, we haven't had enough internal testing to give you a definitive answer on modded save file compatibility. According to our community of mod authors however, the general consensus regarding compatibility of modded saves is a resounding 'no.' Though there is a remote chance that very particular save files which only depend on mods which have a SSE equivalent installed may work, this will not be relevant to the vast majority of mod users because their modded files will have one or more dependencies with a currently incompatible mod.

"Our advice for mod users is to expect to start fresh when it comes to playing SSE."

Skyrim SE versions of SkyUI and Skyrim Script Extender may take a while to appear

Skyrim Script Extender is a tool many mods rely on, as it expands both scripting capabilities and functionality for mods. Thing is, SKSE was created for the 32 bit Skyrim, and Skyrim Special Edition is 64 bit, meaning the current version of SKSE won't work with the Special Edition.

SkyUI, one of the best and most popular mods for Skyrim, and a mod that many other mods require for configuration, depends on SKSE to work. So, until there's a version of SKSE for the 64 bit version, there won't be a workable version of SkyUI for Skyrim SE.

I asked Dave if he knew the current status of these two incredibly important mods, and he confirmed that SKSE is being actively worked on to support Skyrim SE, though he doesn't know how long it might take.

"The same can be said for SkyUI as it's dependent on SKSE in its current state," Dave said. "A big loss of not having SkyUI as you may know is the loss of in-game mod configuration. So, mod authors are likely to adapt with more rudimentary schemes to allow for in-game mod configuration (such as activating a book), until both are completed."

Update: Dave clarified things a bit further in regards to SkyUI, saying: "...while the SKSE team have confirmed their interest in continuing their work with SSE, the SkyUI developers on the other-hand have not confirmed, but they have expressed interest in collaborating with others who may carry the torch, so-to-speak."

There are some mods for Skyrim SE already

Since Skyrim and Skyrim SE are two different games, modders who post their Skyrim Mods on Nexus Mods need to essentially create duplicates of their work. Many are busy doing this and Nexus Mods is making this process as easy as possible for them and some modders who had access to the Skyrim SE beta test already have their mods up on the new Special Edition Nexus page.

The Nexus Mods page for Skyrim SE is right here, so you can see what's currently available. Thankfully, prolific modder Arthmoor has a number of his mods ready to go, including an Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch, which like its predecessor, will fix a number of bugs that were present in the original Skyrim and have been carried over to the Special Edition.

Nexus Mod Manager now supports Skyrim SE

Updated: If, like me, you use Nexus Mod Manager, the Nexus Mods tool for managing your mods, it now supports Skyrim Special Edition.

You can download the new version of Nexus Mod Manager here.

We'll update this post with any additional information we come across.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

From the skilled hands of master claysmith Lee Hardcastle comes Skyrim Memories, a tribute to some of the most exciting moments of Nord adventure, rendered entirely in claymation. Shanking spiders, clobbering dragons, yelling at guys (as you do when you're the Dovahkiin), and making friends with locals: It's all in a day's work for the world's shoutiest, squishiest fantasy hero.

Hardcastle's work, created in conjunction with Bethesda, marks the forthcoming launch of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition, which will be out on October 27 or 28, depending on which part of the world you call home. It promises numerous enhancements over the original game, including spectacularly upgraded graphics, and if you already own Skyrim and its three DLC releases Dawnguard, Hearthfire, and Dragonborn you'll get it free.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Skyrim Special Edition arrives next week in time for the original game's fifth year anniversary. After announcing its system requirements last week, Bethesda has now revealed exactly when it'll unlock depending on where you are in the world. What's more, the developer has also outlined the prerequisites existing owners will need to ascertain in order to nab the HD remaster for free.

Boasting a range of new features designed to make the fifth Elder Scrolls series entry "feel fresh again", the Special Edition will introduce things like remastered art and effects, volumetric lighting (better known as 'god rays'), and new snow and water shaders, among other aesthetical tweaks. It's universal release is set for October 28 at 12am UTC, which translates to:

  • 5pm Pacific Time (October 27)
  • 8pm Eastern Time (October 27)
  • 1am British Summer Time (October 28)
  • 2am Central European Summer Time (October 28)
  • 11am Australian Eastern Time Zone (October 28)
  • 1pm New Zealand Time (October 28th)
  • 2pm Japan (October 28th)

As per this Steam Community update, if you already own Skyrim and all three of its separate DLCs that's Dawnguard, Hearthfire and Dragonborn or the Skyrim Legendary Edition, you'll receive the Special Edition free-of-charge. A disclaimer notes that "if you do not complete your Skyrim [and] all DLC bundle until October 28th, your free upgrade to Skyrim Special Edition may take up to 36 hours to apply to your account."

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Skyrim's modding scene is one of the PC's most incredible and diverse. It's a canvas on which artists can paint with their imagination, making everything from total conversion mods to ones that simply add capes. But every once in awhile, a mod comes around possessing such immense artistic vision even its own creator can't comprehend it.

No, seriously, this person has no idea what their mod even does, and they're asking people to figure it out for them.

"Literally, this was by far the worst idea I've ever had," writes its creator, Chocolate Milk. "And trust me, that's really saying something." See, instead of creating a mod that adds some useful functionality to Skyrim, Chocolate Milk made a potion. Not just any potion, however, a potion that has the ability to do something. What, you might ask? Not even Chocolate Milk can answer that."I started creating a potion," they write. "I just started clicking randomly, scrolling, selecting random things, and hoping it would turn out well. And holy crap, that was a disaster. I don't even know what I did. I don't know what it is, but I think it probably has at least 102% alcohol content. See, this potion does some weird crap. At least, I think it does. I don't even really know what it does, honestly. I just clicked randomly and hoped for the best."

Suitably named 'Really F*cking Weird Potion,' those that want to find out can subscribe to the mod on Steam and head over to The Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun. There, Chocolate Milk has placed a new merchant named Peddler that sells the item. Just in case you needed any more reasons to be apprehensive, Chocolate Milk named his creation "Suicide?"

That hasn't stopped players from turning Chocolate Milk's mod into one of the most popular Skyrim mods of recent weeks. Already the comments are filling up with playful notes and speculation, but so far details aren't all that concrete."Sir, as much as I admire your inspiration," writes one player, "I have to say, that this concoction of yours dubiously has any good qualities at all! Although I will admit, the taste is exotic. But in any case, I have to, unfortunately, end my life here, as this potion has consumed my thoughts, and filled my mind with the worst of ideas."

"It turned into a werewolf and put ice shit and explosions everywhere," writes another. This one in particular troubles me as I can't tell if it turned the player or the potion itself into a werewolf. That might be beside the point if there's "ice shit" everywhere whatever that means.

Perhaps it's the mystery of what the potion does, or maybe it's the risk that drinking it could have some serious consequences. Chocolate Milk has no clue, and they've asked anyone who ends up drinking it to let them know. "I have no idea what this thing does," they write. "And if you subscribe to it, I beg you, tell me what the hell this does. I'm curious about what my Frankenstein potion is."

We here at PC Gamer take this kind of thing very seriously, so I decided it was time to discover the truth about Chocolate Milk's mod.

I'm honestly not sure what I expected, but at least we can lay this mystery to rest. The far greater riddle is why this mod is currently trending as one of the most popular on Skyrim's Steam Workshop page. Whatever the truth is, I think this comment by 'MyLittleEmpath' sums my thoughts up perfectly: "This is why I love the modding community." If you're feeling brave, head over to the Steam Workshop page and try the mod yourself. Leave us a comment if you do, so we know what kind of mayhem you caused with it.

Trine 2: Complete Story

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(What? Star Wars is totally fantasy.)

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The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition

Skywind and Skyblivion are fan-made projects that aim to rebuild the Elder Scrolls RPGs Morrowind and Oblivion within the confines of the more modern (and, let's face it, much prettier) Skyrim. Both have been in the works for quite some time: We got our first taste of Skyblivion in mid-2014, while Skywind dates all the way back to 2012. Rebuilding these sprawling worlds is obviously a slow, painstaking process, but the work continues, and the people behind each of them have recently released new trailers showing off their progress.

First up is Skyblivion, with the "Familiar Faces" trailer, the title of which will make obvious sense very quickly. Patrick Stewart, Sean Bean, and Sheogorath all put in appearances, but for my money it's the Adoring Fan who's the real star of the show. And he's come a long way from his original Oblivion look, hasn't he?

And then we have Skywind, which focuses more on the game world than its inhabitants, and for my money that makes it the better of the two. I think the Elder Scrolls peaked with Morrowind so there's obviously some bias at work here, but to me Skywind looks better developed, too. That may also be a result of the much greater leap forward that Skywind represents: Both games are well-aged, but Oblivion was a significant technological advancement over Morrowind, so the differences resulting from the move to Skyrim are less pronounced.

Skywind and Skyblivion are both part of the overarching Elder Scrolls Renewal Project, and you can follow along with their progress at tesrenewal.com.

Thanks, Eurogamer.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

The system requirements for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition have been revealed, and I hope none of you were expecting that they'd be more or less the same as they were for the original release. They are not.

Come on, are you surprised? The original Skyrim is five years old, after all, and no, that's not exactly an eternity in the realm of PC hardware, but it is an awfully long time. The minimum required spec for Skyrim OG was a 2.0 GHz dual core CPU, 2GB RAM, and a DX9.0c-compliant video card with 512MB of RAM. I'm pretty sure my phone packs a heavier punch than that.

So here's what you're going to need if you want to roam the prettier-than-ever lands of Skyrim SE:

Minimum:

  • Windows 7/8.1/10 (64-bit Version)
  • Intel i5-750/AMD Phenom II X4-945
  • 8GB RAM
  • 12 GB free HDD space
  • Nvidia GTX 470 1GB /AMD HD 7870 2GB

Recommended:

  • Windows 7/8.1/10 (64-bit Version)
  • Intel i5-2400/AMD FX-8320
  • 8GB RAM
  • 12 GB free HDD space
  • Nvidia GTX 780 3GB /AMD R9 290 4GB

Bethesda has previously announced that Skyrim SE will be free for people who already own "all the Skyrim stuff" that's already been released. More specifically, as it explained on Steam, that means anyone who owns the original game and the Dawnguard, Hearthfire, and Dragonborn DLCs, or the Skyrim Legendary Edition, which is all of the above in a single bundle.

That's really the way to go if you're looking to leap into the land of the Nords for the first time: Skyrim SE will sell for $60, while the Legendary bundle is $40. You've got until the Skyrim SE release date of October 28 to pick it up if you want the free upgrade.

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition

Only the greatest warriors wear a nipple hat.

Did you wear the Colovian Fur Helm? If you played Morrowind you probably did. The Colovian Fur Helm is a piece of armor you can easily get at the start of the game it literally falls out of the sky for you, being worn by a wizard whose spell doesn't work as intended and you'll probably keep it for a while. At the start of Morrowind decent helmets are hard to come by, especially if you're cheap. The downside is that the Colovian Fur Helm looks like a big hairy nipple. No matter how badass the rest of your armor is, topping it off with a hat that makes you look like one of the Coneheads will ruin your ensemble.

I thought about that hat recently when I was watching Hearthstone designer Ben Brode answer criticisms about the recently added Purify spell, which players have called a bad card. Actually they've called it worse things than that, but let's stick with bad. Some players actually like winning with bad cards, Brode explained, before going on to discuss its potential for use in a non-competitive fun deck . Long past the point where it was a liability, I wore that silly Colovian Fur Helm because I'd started thinking it was funny defeating ghosts and monsters while wearing a conical nipplehat. It was bad, but that's what made it perfect for me.

Plenty of games have items in them that prove unpopular with players. Maybe they're equipment in an RPG, cards in a digital card game, guns in a first-person shooter, or power-ups in an arcade game. They could be ugly. Their stats could be terrible. Most players may shun them, but they still serve a purpose.

Guns & ammo 

James Lopez, producer on the Borderlands series, provides me with the excellent names of several guns from Borderlands 2 that players considered bad: Flakker, Bane, Fibber, and Crit. They all had their moments to shine, however, as there was an ebb and flow to the popularity of guns in the games some were popular right off the bat but some were 'undiscovered' for a while until the community found things that made them special , he says.

The Flakker for instance is a shotgun that shoots multiple explosive projectiles. They detonate at medium range, making it almost worthless against distant or nearby enemies. Plus, it fires very slowly. While the Flakker seems underwhelming for a weapon of 'legendary' rarity, it does have its uses. The sniper character Zer0 can combine it effectively with his Rising Sh0t ability, which lets him earn bonus damage for a short duration after every successful attack. The amount of bonus damage increases every time you hurt an enemy, so a single good shot with the Flakker can max out that bonus, after which you switch to a better gun to make use of it.

The Bane on the other hand is a submachine gun that drops your movement to a crawl and constantly shouts at you. When you shoot it screeches like Jim Carrey in Dumb & Dumber making the most annoying sound in the world, and it announces every reload by bellowing Reloading! Even taking it out it will make it announce Swapping weapons! Dropping the in-game volume to zero won't prevent it from ruining your eardrums, either. And yet there are people on YouTube using The Bane to defeat Borderlands 2's endgame raid boss Terramorphous the Invincible.

Borderlands is an unusual case in that most of its guns aren't unique like the Flakker and Bane, but procedurally generated. They combine effects in randomized ways so you might end up with a sniper rifle that reloads almost instantly or a pistol that shoots burning bullets. It creates variety and depth, Lopez explains, as well as the possibility of the user getting a one of a kind gun that nobody else will have. You might pick up two Maliwan fire SMGs of the same level but they re not going to be the same. And it might turn out that one is more your play style than the other, and the one you don t like might be perfect for someone else in your party.

When you do find a unique gun in a Borderlands game, something with a name like Good Touch or Teapot, you know it's special. That inspires players to figure out why a seemingly bad gun exists instead of chucking it aside like the disposable randomized weapons Borderlands games are full of. As Lopez puts it, Giving them names creates a theme about the gun, a connection to how you got it, and can also inspire the community to learn more about it through forums, videos, wikis, etc.

Should more guns have voice acting? Probably not.

The drone & the skullcap 

At the other end of the spectrum from Borderlands and its millions of guns is Assault Android Cactus, a twin-stick shooter in which each of its playable android characters only has two weapons. Some are regular fare like a flamethrower or a beam laser, but the android named Aubergine wields something different: an indestructible drone called Helo that causes damage in a circle and controls like a fishing rod. Hold down fire and the drone moves further away from her; release and it's reeled back in.

Aubergine is the most divisive character in the game, says developer Tim Dawson, some people dig her, but a lot of players couldn't get their head around controlling her Helo drone while moving. She was meant to be an out-there character and push the envelope in terms of twin-stick shooter mechanics, but because she takes so much more work to get good at, plenty of people never did.

The drone has advantages, like being able to cause damage to enemies while you hide behind a wall, but it's tricky to get used to compared to more straightforward tools like the shotgun or the drill. Not many players bother getting to grips with Aubergine and her drone.

Aubergine's drone weapon sets her apart from most twin-stick shooter characters.

Even so, I'm glad she's in the game, Dawson says, she came about from realising our weapon designs were stagnating mid-development and sitting down to brainstorm something off the map. She's not only a good character for players who stick with her, but her existence in the game challenged us to make later weapons like the Railgun and Giga Drill more distinctive.

Assault Android Cactus also has power-ups that appear regularly throughout each level. Each power-up initially appears as a red Firepower boost (adding hovering guns to your arsenal), but if it's not picked up immediately will transform into a yellow Accelerate boost (adding movement speed as well as slurping pick-ups toward you), and finally a blue Shutdown (sending enemies to sleep). The fact that players can choose which of the three power-ups to collect by timing it right inspired a vigorous debate on the game's forum over which was best.

Accelerate came off worst of the three by a fair margin. Despite boosting speed, decreasing damage taken and pulling battery and weapon orbs in, some players began actively avoiding Accelerate, says Dawson, seeing it as a wasted opportunity to grab one of the other two power-ups, both of which had more overt offensive potential.

Cards with negative and positive effects are chosen less, but fit certain playstyles.

In the choose-your-own-adventure card game Hand of Fate, each of the player's items is represented by a card that becomes that piece of equipment and appears on your avatar when combat begins. They fall down on you like rain, if rain was made of helmets and axes. Though Hand of Fate is a very different game, just like Assault Android Cactus and its Accelerate power-up, players prefer equipment that has overt offensive potential .

According to its creative director Morgan Jaffit, Something we notice a lot is that people generally prefer items with direct effects, rather than those that act on another system. A good example there is Skullcap of Prophecy, which reduces your cooldowns if you kill an enemy with a weapon ability. There's a lot going on there for a player to think about how often do they kill enemies, how often do they get to use weapon abilities, how does reducing cooldowns help them, etc.

The Skullcap of Prophecy can be part of a powerful combo when used with weapon abilities capable of finishing enemies off, reducing the cooldown on the ability that triggered the Skullcap in the first place in a repeatable loop. Most players don't bother with it, however, preferring to use gear that increases damage directly or doesn't require a decent weapon to synergize with.

Gear that has negatives as well as positives generally gets picked less than items that are a straight benefit. Morgan Jaffit

Likewise, gear that has negatives as well as positives generally gets picked less than items that are a straight benefit, says Jaffit. Forbidden Armor give you bonus damage resistance, but stops you being able to heal. People tended to just wear slower, less effective armour instead of dealing with the downside.

And that's up to you. Choosing not to use items that handicap you whether they provide some balancing advantage or exist simply to let you challenge yourself or fit a specific theme you're roleplaying is a choice that's yours to make. But even if you do make that choice, the bad items you avoid still serve a purpose. As Jaffit says, you always need contrast. No single item is 'good' in the abstract, you need other items to compare them to.

If every card in Hand of Fate or Hearthstone was perfectly balanced for use with every playstyle, there would be no thrill to finding ones that suit you. If the power-ups in Assault Android Cactus were the same you'd never race dramatically across the level to grab the one you like, and if every gun in Borderlands was useful at every range and in every situation you'd never switch between them and find the perfect moment to bombard some bad guys with a shotgun that shoots exploding swords.

Even beyond stats, items with no value can be imbued with purpose by passionate fans. In Dark Souls, one of the starting gifts, a pendant, does absolutely nothing. Why would anyone pick it over a key that unlocks doors throughout the game? Fans of Dark Souls labyrinthine lore speculated on how the pendant might fit into the mythos until director Hidetaki Miyazaki revealed that it was basically a prank. But by then it had served its purpose, making Dark Souls just a little bit more mysterious.

One man's trash...

That Colovian Fur Helm served a purpose too. When I finally sold it in favor of wearing something made of enchanted green glass, I felt like a proper hero for the first time, not that joker straight off the boat with the pointy head.

I would have missed the Colovian Fur Helm, but fortunately the shopkeeper I sold it to was so impressed he put it on immediately and continued wearing it for the rest of the game. Everybody's bad item is valuable to someone.

Half-Life

Fellow PC gamers, we are gathered here today to remember an old friend, one whose warranty expired long ago. As laid out in the law of the upgrade cycle, we must let go of those components that can no longer keep pace with modern demands. And so, it is with heavy hearts that we say our final goodbyes to you, our constant companion for the last 20 years.

Rest in peace, humble optical drive.

You were once a cornerstone of this community, a bringer of joy, a portal to play, an ally in our pursuit of entertainment. You gave us the gorgeous world of Myst, the sublime soundscape of Quake, the unprecedented complexity of Half-Life. You were a marvel of your age, drawing realms of infinite possibility out of those small, innocuous discs. At the time, it felt like nothing less than magic.

Nearly 30 years ago now, you entered this world with a vision. Armed with Red Book audio and full-motion video, you sold us the Hollywood dream, treating us to Mark Hamill taking on a race of giant cat aliens, Jeff Goldblum killing it as Dracula, Christopher Walken telling it to us straight, and... this immaculate performance. Video games seemed poised to replace movies altogether; why would we watch if we could play instead? Alas, it was not meant to be, but we'll always have those fond memories, thanks to you. Your legacy will live on inside us all.

As we commit you to the great server in the sky, let us reflect on all the good you did for this world. Who can forget how crucial you were during the dial-up days? The spiral cords of our 56K modems strained under the weight of individual mp3s; the thought of downloading an entire 750MB CD-ROM was unfathomable. Even when cable internet arrived on the scene, we still relied on you to support us through the file-size boom of the DVD era. Steam might have dethroned you eventually, but your stability during the platform's early, rocky years was what kept us gaming.

In your youth, your laissez-faire attitude allowed our community to flourish unabated. I, personally, owe some of my favourite childhood memories to your liberal approach to game trading; as a kid, hiring and borrowing games was the only way I could afford to play. Thanks to borrowing a friend's copy of Diablo II, I discovered my penchant for click-'em-ups. Thanks to renting Battlefield 1942, I grokked the appeal of online multiplayer. Thanks to hiring out Baldur's Gate II, I realised that games could tell big, complex stories that actually leveraged their interactivity instead of ignoring it. Of course, we all understand why you had to jump on the DRM train once people started abusing your freedoms. Still, those unbridled early years were crucial in making our community as great as it is today.

The fact is, old friend, we simply don't have the space for you anymore.

Alas, those halcyon days are far behind us. The battle of the distribution models is over, and there's no question who lost. How could it have gone any other way? Steam lets us pre-order, pre-load, patch, and play, all without leaving the comfort of our desk chairs. Gone are the overloaded shelves buckling beneath the weight of bejewelled CD cases and boxy collectors editions. Never again do we have to rummage around in dusty attics and dank basements to find that old copy of Day of the Tentacle, only for you to whine like a circular saw when we put the disc in because it isn't mint-out-of-box.

For all the joy you gave us, we cannot ignore the dark times you begat. Refusing to read brand new discs until we'd carefully wiped off every minute mote of dust. Scratching up our favourite games as punishment for playing them too much. Demanding that we 'Insert Disc 2' when it was already in the damn tray. And those multi-disc installs! How can you expect us to set aside multiple hours just to swap GTA 5's seven DVDs in and out?

GTA 5's seven DVDs.

At least you re in a better place now, one where the RPMs are infinite and the CDs are truly scratch-proof. Because as much as it pains us to say it on this day of mourning, you were holding this industry back. Bite-sized games never stood a chance against the pains of disc-swapping. Aspiring developers cringed at the cost of pressing and shipping discs. If we hadn't moved on to the all-digital now, we'd never have known the haunting oppression of Papers, Please, the touching tale of Gone Home, the time-bending antics of Superhot. We'd have to bid farewell to our hundreds-large Steam libraries or else buy a second house just to store all the CDs.

The fact is, old friend, we simply don't have the space for you anymore. Not in our homes, and not in our hearts. Your place at the top of our PC towers is no more. Our mini-ITX cases no longer give you a berth. We will never again hear your mechanical whirr, your voice silenced by the hum of our bigger and better hard drives. From caches to ashes, from disc to dusk, your time is up. You re just too slow for this digital world.

16X. 8X. 4X. 2X. 1X. Eject.

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