« It's pretty FREAKY. »

« It's a bit rough around the edges, like my marriage, and I got softlocked at one point, also like my marriage, but it's got solid gameplay w/ major oldschool System Shock vibes, so I'd rate this game. »

« Be the ghost in the machine. Every breath you take will put you one step closer to becoming the king of pain. Once your foes see your message in a bottle, they'll be wrapped around your finger. »

« Do battle with the demonetization squads and stay one step ahead of the content cops to rake in as much sweet sweet Twitch money and parasocial attention as you can before you get Twitlongered! »

« Wario but he makes pizza »

« Let's face it - this game will probably make you gay or something. And quite frankly, that's probably for the best. Imagine the horrifying alternative of if you don't play this game right now. Yeah. »

« Imagine if Bemani Konasute games remotely respected you as a player and also had good music in them »

« You get to assault a large truck in the United States. »

« Some guy called "That Man" tosses all his multicolored Gamecubes all over his backyard and plays with some little cards and somehow that's far from the weirdest thing in this psychotic fighting game. »

« Ohh, you meant heroINE. With an “e”. Okay, nevermind then »