Have you ever really listened to Space Oddity? You don't even have a wife to miss you, since you choked at the big game.

You used to run so fast, you may well have been faster than light. Then your ankle broke, you missed prom, and your friends went to college.

You can help the goat escape, but you can't escape that you're fat and middle-aged and no one remembers you.

Crimsonland reminds you of how much your ankle bled when Murray Williams tripped and snapped it clean in half.

Awesomenauts, incidentally, is the name of your fantasy football league.

Carlos Calaca becomes brave and powerful through death. You only wish you were so brave.

Can Portal send you back? Back when your ankle wasn't broken, and you were on varsity?

Your wife reminds you about how you resemble the main character every time you play this. You wouldn't mind if it didn't cut so deep.

Those frenchies sure can make a pretty game. If only they could make the pain go away

You may have broken that ankle and lost Susan to your second-string replacement, but at least you didn't end up in prison like Dale.