As we all know, a man will not do anything at all in his life unless there's a cute girl as a reward, so here is a game about five waifus motivating you to get your sh*t together. Worked for me.

You should know whether you'll like it at a glance. It's cosy, it's tight, it's fun, and is a great conversation starter when it comes to arguing what makes a metroidvania.

Play this. Or don't. You're perfect already. Especially if you've played Brutal Orchestra.

It changed my life. I became myself again. Descend with me; you don't need VR to play it, either.

Quasi-sapiosexual horniness. It's absurd, yet coherent. Violent, yet intimate. Conceptual. Disembodied. Beautiful.

Bring your landlord to the guillotine with the power of your slot machine. It's not just luck, it's deckbuilding - quite pure; a great game overall, for sure. (and the soundtrack bops)

Fell through a wormhole from the late 90s. If it's good enough to distract from some bad feelings, it's probably pretty good. And yes, it is.

A pleasant little space adventure. The design is a bit wonky, but the game generally sucks you in... kind of like a wormhole. Space travel logistics.

It's so refreshingly childish and adorable that I can't help but unironically recommend it. Just sit back and enjoy 40-50 minutes of strawberry-flavoured magic.

Do you remember the faces of the people that died because of you? Every. Single. One.