Go on vacation, watch all of your friends die, sometimes get their underwear or whatever.

You get to go really fast

Nobody knows what anything is until they hold it for a while, and the Minotaur wants to harass you more than verbally.

Ridiculously good, and you can shoot your boy (singular, co-op is 2 player only).

I liked the shooting until I did not like the shooting anymore.

You get a rock and you can use it to hit strangers.

WHY WON'T YOU STAY STILL

The voice acting is cheesy and ridiculous and you can tell that the devs are ESL, but it's a fantastic experience and worth every penny. True survival horror.

It's fun, but it is way, way too short. Would benefit from a New Game+ option, and the classes don't feel fleshed out enough to warrant being separate classes.

It's not a Castlevania, but.