This is the first game I've played that actually has endless amounts of pie! Maybe societal collapse won't be so bad after all.

My son wasn't invited.

Intense UV radiation has made me delusional. I'm a monkey!

My son and I are happy to see this getting remade. I'm afraid to play multiplayer games with him on account of his raging temper tantrums, but I look forward to the carnage when his friends come over.

Do or do not, there is no pie.

My son had sealed this game away on one of his backup drive thingies, so I was curious what it was like. When I opened it, a portal of fire enveloped my hands, so I'm typing this with bloody stumps.

This game reminded me of the marvel of human creation that is pot pie, whilst watching my character explode into delicious giblets. My wife is preheating the oven as I type this.

Once, when I was seven years old, I sat on a banana. And, of course, that changed my life.

This game is inaccurate to my own experience in the yakuza, and it contains no ducks or pie. But the game's heat actions are representative of the fact we all make mistakes in the heat of passion.

You may know me for my love of pie, but ducks are another passion of mine. This game is all about them! When I was young, the closest thing we had to this was wooden ducks and our fathers' guns.