« If you're tired of your child playing Fortnite and hollering like a belligerent drunk at night, then uninstall all of his games and make him play this. Teach 'im some life skills and all that. »

« Pillage weak pheasants, ravish buxom lassies, hurl hatchets at women. Dabble in duels and engage in wanton destruction against those who cannot resist, to your hearts content. »

« The dream of all midwives, children and women with the mental maturity of a five year old. Play as a meow meow, attack other cats, dine on vermin and roll around in a bed of moss and feathers. »

« Based on the demo, Inquisitor appears reminiscent of the Witcher 3. The only distinction is, that in this game you'll have no qualms fracturing a liars skull. All for the glory of the Lord almighty. »

« Abate the native horde and instill the Aztec tribes with Spanish glory and valour. GLORY TO SPAIN AND MAY THE LORD BLESS THY CONQUISTADOR'S. »

« Genuinely enjoyable, may appear tedious after long intervals, as the text can be relatively long and repetitive, albeit the combat helps ease the repetition and banality, procured via the text. »

« SKYRIM FOR THE NORDS! »

« Earnestly, this is a sublime game. One which promotes training your child and turning him from a boy, to a man. »

« I have no knowledge of this game, but I certainly adore beavers, with their fluffy tails and vibrant manes. One day I hope to feed a beaver maple syrup and then whilst it is unwary, abduct it. »