Finally a game where I almost feel my penis again. -Drew

At the risk of subconsciously implying my desire to see other people crippled, I enjoyed this game. -Spade

You're only as capable as the sword you wield, and the speed setting of your mobility scooter. -Spade

Stab your friends in the abdomen and hope it severs the spinal cord. -Spade

Dodge zombies by performing acrobatic moves and re-experience the traumatic childhood experience that resulted in loss of bodily function. -Spade

The game was great. Huey's character as the protagonist is the crowning achievement of Hideo Kojima's career in its entirety. -Spade

Gotta go fast! This game is great for experiencing the fantasies of expedited travel that will never be. -Spade

with a 144hz monitor, it's everyone else that's handicapped -Chandler