Jokes aside, you’d have to be a pretty big dork to think that the world isn’t wide enough for both handheld PCs and traditional consoles like the Nintendo Switch 2 (even if the latter is hogging a new FromSoft game). Partly because they are, to an extent, ingrained in each other, via the classic hardware marketplace of borrowed ideas: there’s probably no Steam Deck without the original Switch, and I’d bet my own mousing hand that the Switch 2’s optical sensor-packing Joy Cons are inspired by the Lenovo Legion Go.

No doubt the manufacturers behind portable PCs watched the Switch 2’s Nintendo Direct showcase and began furiously scribbling notes on what they could crib, be it the magnetic clip-on peripherals, the fan-equipped dock, or whatever internal wizardry that seemingly lets it run Final Fantasy VII Rebirth at 1080p. Fine by me. Just please don’t, whatever you do, follow Nintendo’s lead of trying to plaster over games with the gurning, disembodied heads of our friends and families.

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In Pathologic 2 you played an exhausted surgeon who between incisions would scramble through piles of rubbish for a handful of nuts to keep himself alive. In Pathologic 3 the developers want you to approach the same plague-stricken town from a different perspective. This time you're a well-fed and well-dressed city doctor whose pompous attitude and diagnosing minigame makes him more like Hugh Laurie's Dr House than the scroungey hero of a survival game. Pathologic 3 Quarantine is a demo on Steam that lets you try out this secondary hero, the Bachelor, and it sets the tone for another trip into Ice-Pick Lodge's janky-if-interesting townscape.

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Assassin's Creed Shadows is special to me, in the sense I don't usually sit through whole games I'm not especially enjoying just for more opportunities to watch storms and gales, orange leaves whipped up by horse footfall, and flashes of illumination from distant lightning. It is a game that transforms weather from the subject of idle small talk to excited big talk. When I remember the game, I will remember galloping on horseback toward destinations that part of me wishes didn't exist, so I could keep on galloping forever.

These moments of beautiful, sombre realism made the whole game worth it for me, but they come at a cost I didn't realise until I decided to make the most of my Ubisoft+ Month and play Assassin's Creed Syndicate. I'm not made of fifteen quids, after all. I've played about five hours now, and while sometimes struck by how many great improvements the series has had over the years, there's something Syndicate has that Shadows doesn't: charm. A goofy charisma that I feel was present in Odyssey, but that Shadows trades out for ambitions toward a gravitas that just never came together for me.

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The RTX 5070 Ti is now readily available, and the GIGABYTE GeForce RTX 5070 Ti Eagle OC SFF 16G is back in stock at Amazon, at probably the best price you're going to get right now. Sitting at $899.99, this compact yet powerful GPU is a solid choice for those looking to upgrade.

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In the latest Minecraft Live, developers Mojang revealed a "Vibrant Visual" overhaul for a game that is now older than many (most?) of the people playing it. Initially planned for the game's Bedrock edition, with a Java version update to follow, it garnishes Minecraft's blocky wilderness with directional lighting, volumetric fog and other gimcrackery you might recognise from more recently published open worlders.

Back when I was a mod-phobic Vanilla player, I would have sneered at all this. Minecraft is not supposed to have "subsurface scattering", whatever that means to regular mortals. It is not supposed to look high fidelity, or high tech. It is supposed to look like, well, Minecraft. These days, my reaction is less outrage and more curiosity, mingled with vertigo at the entangling of these trendy flourishes with the pixelgrain of what is still, on some level, Infiniminer touching grass. Whatever you think of these Vibrant Visuals, it's interesting to follow Mojang's efforts to tinker with and flesh out an aesthetic that was arguably 'perfected' in 2009. It’s also interesting to think about what “vibrant” might look like, 16 years from now.

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Earlier this month, Snail Games put out a widely and justifiably clowned-on genAI trailer for Ark: Survival Evolved's Aquatica DLC. Much reporting on the incident, including my own, used some variation of "slop" in the headline.

This has likely been true for some time, but it made me notice that 'slop' had evolved from a common adjective into the realm of de facto terminology. If you dislike GenAI, you refer to its output as 'slop'. It's become lexi-canonical.

I think we can do better. "Slop" evokes a tepid cylinder of condensed cream of mushroom soup, glumly wibbling in a chipped bowl. When I think of GenAI, I picture something closer to tropical insects laying eggs beneath soft flesh of victims. There's something parasitical and sinister about flaying the skin of artists who've explicitly spoken out against GenAI and then gleefully parading around in that stolen flesh. Slop sounds like Soft sounds like Plop sounds like Globule. It slides down too easy; gets off too lightly.

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I’ve hit the install cap on my storage drive more times than I’ve rage-quit in Apex. At some point, deleting a 90GB game just to download another becomes a sad cycle of SSD suffering. So yeah, when a bunch of top-tier M.2 drives go on sale, I pay attention. Amazon's Spring Sale has been great for PC gaming deals, but it's also the last day of the sale as well, so don't delay on these latest price drops.

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InZoi’s early access release isn’t a particularly good fit for the Steam Deck, primarily because it isn’t a particularly good game. Even before you can dig into its sterile person-pushing, though, trying to run InZoi on Valve’s hanhdheld involves involuntarily headbutting the kinds of compatibility problems and weird workarounds that haven’t been common to the Deck since its early days in 2022.

This is frustrating in itself, and doubly so knowing that despite all those years of maturing, the Steam Deck doesn’t really have a heavyweight life sim that slots in seamlessly to the handheld format. The Sims series, InZoi’s clear inspiration and main rival, can be monkey-wrenched into playability, but even the most recent Sims 4 needs a community-made control modification to function – and that’s more about replicating mouse controls on the trackpads than truly optimising for controller-style inputs. InZoi wants to look> like the very model of a modern life simulator, but its own lack of portable rapport is, at best, a missed opportunity to plug this gap.

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I recently got three hours of hands-on time with Doom: The Dark Ages, which included a ride on dragonback and a fist fight with a massive mech. But one other sequence saw me wrecking demon lads in one of the more expansive, explorey levels this newest FPS is promising. For a lark, I decided to throw all the difficulty sliders up in an effort to hurt myself spiritually and physically. In doing so I discovered there are some interesting options for players who want a brutal challenge. I also recorded it, so you can see how chaotic, silly, and abrupt it can get (and so you can say "I'd do better" than the disgusting journalist).

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I used to think any old headset would do. Plug it in, hear the game, done. Then I bought a half-decent one and immediately heard footsteps I’d been ignoring for years. Now I can’t go back. If you’re still gaming with tinny audio and a mic that makes you sound like a drive-thru cashier in a hurricane, Amazon's Spring Sale is your best chance to escape the audio troubles, and it's also the last day of the sale as well, so don't delay on these top discounts.

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