Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Here we are, the final voyage of 2024. This is the last advent calendar entry of PC gaming website Rock Paper Shotgun. Days elapsed: 24. Writers employed: 8.

I hope this hurts.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.>

Time to enjoy your lovely joke!

Q: How can you tell a soulslike fan has fallen in love with a giant ape?

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

An ancient tale, often re-told - and that's just the story of the development studio that made it.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.>

Time to enjoy your lovely joke!

Q: Why do oil rig workers only drink sparkling water?

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

It was a rainy day when she walked into my office, hard rain, like stray stones from a truck on the highway hitting your car bonnet. I lit my cyber-cigarette and put my feet on my desk, I don't know why, I thought it would make me look nonchalant to this strange woman. She wasn't impressed. "Detective," she said, glaring at me with eyes like gorgeous tennis balls, "I want to open today's advent calendar door." I was confused. "Whaddya wanna do that for, missy?" She sat back, relaxed, and pulled a gun from her purse. "I need to stuff a body into it."

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

There's a slight breeze and a comforting glow coming from the crack's in today's calendar door, the sound of merriment and many accents from all over the world. Better join in the campfire revelry, because whoever's there won't be staying for long.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Happy weekend all. Due to the intervention of Dark Powers and also, half the Treehouse already being on holiday, we neglected to do a round-up of staff Xmas plays before signing off for the year. Well, I’m pretty sure nobody did one. I can’t see anything scheduled in the RPS Post-A-Tron, but the RPS Post-A-Tron is an unreliable beast, full of malice and deceit. If I publish this and it turns out we have two, please divide into rival factions and have a comments war over which is the real one. Apologies! Normal service will resume next year.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

I’m hoping you’ll forgive a spot of mission-bending here, given Should You Bother With? Is usually intended to test out the new and the strange of gaming hardware. Instead, I want to talk about mini PCs – not just small-form-factor desktops, but properly tiny, box o’ chocolates-sized computers – which have, of course, been around for decades.

Recently, however, I’ve been wondering if mini PCs are finally on the cusp of having their moment as serious games machines. Between rising desktop component prices and ever-ballooning electricity bills, it would make sense that a smaller, cheaper system would take on a new appeal, and the success of handhelds like the Steam Deck and Asus ROG Ally show that convenience still trumps out-and-out performance for a lot of PC players. There have even been hints that Valve are resurrecting their Steam Machine mini PC concept, years after a flopping first attempt. Should you> be interested?

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Clambering deep out of the Contemplation Pit, where reading reviews or opinions or, god help you, Takes, is forbidden, I am curious to learn how people have been categorising Songs of Silence. Its structure most resembles Songs of Conquest or Heroes of Might and/or Magic, but with little RPG emphasis or base building, and minimal tactical fighting.

Taxonomy is arbitrary and often unimportant at the end of the day, but I am very glad to firmly rule it out of one category: It's not a bloody card game. It looks like one, sure. You do most things with cards, and characters acquire more cards over time. But even if you absolutely, utterly, and correctly loathe card-based systems, this game has none.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Early on in Terry Pratchett's novel The Light Fantastic, a spell is cast to map the world. It begins as a "fireball of occult potentiality," dangling in the Great Hall of the Unseen University, which evolves into a ghostly "embryo universe." The embryo expands "lightly as a thought," with spectral continents "sleeting" through walls and people. It surges across the landscape until the entire population and geography of the Disc is exactly duplicated and enclosed by a shimmering shadow-self of "shining threads that followed every movement."

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