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Q: What do you call a magical action roguelike where a witch with a poor Irish accent kills zombies, pixel by simulated pixel?

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Playing Milky Way Prince made me think about people I would rather forget, and memories that will never quite stop hurting. You know, the ones about the intense, dysfunctional relationships you sometimes end up in when you’re stupid and young.

It’s a game that feels young at its core – the first commercial work of a solo developer, Lorenzo “eyeguys” Redaelli, and the first work published by developer Santa Ragione, of Wheels Of Aurelia fame. Like many young adults, it’s rough around the edges and entirely too sincere.

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Q: Which legendary American character actor starred in films such as The Deer Hunter, Catch Me If You Can, and Antz, while simultaneously hacking and slashing his way through a shattered and corrupted RPG world with no class restrictions?

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The castaways are a ragtag crew of teens: Lily is smart, Jaimie is athletic, and Oliver is charming. Sure, there’s Audrey, but she’s such a rebel and her crush on Joshua is making it tough for her to get anything done. And on the night of Day 8, Lily seems to have remembered seeing a documentary about a ritual to scare evil spirits and convinced everyone else on the island that it would be a great idea to burn all the leftover wood in the shape of an idol. Great. Now how are we going to get home?

This is Teen Island Simulator, a zero-player adaptation of the GMless pen-and-paper game, Teen Island, by Chris McDowell.

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We’ve told you what we think are the best PC games of 2020 (well, as many as we could fit), but what about cold, hard business? For folks who want metrics and money, Valve have revealed the best-selling games on Steam of 2020. They’re a bit vague about it, mind.

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Hullo! While we’re away until the 4th of January, here’s a wee post for you, reader dear, to gab about what you’re playing this holiday. What are you catching up on? What have you still not put down? What did you get in the sales? Which games did our advent calendar nudge you into trying? And if you fancy more chat with folks over the break, perhaps you might visit the RPS forum or RPS Discord server?

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Q: What were six and seven charged with, when they ate nine?

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For the first few months during lockdown, I spent some of my time at home working on a model greenhouse. I used white glue to attach small pieces of wood to other small pieces of wood, making door handles and boxes of pot plants and watering cans. There was an undeniable feeling of safety in the sway of a life in miniature. That is, up until I got overwhelmed by the prospect of finishing a project and let the pieces while away unglued on my bookshelf.

Perhaps I’ll get back to it at some point. In the meantime, the charming little diorama homes in The Almost Gone are here to give me my tiny-house fix.

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Q: Which game has racked up nearly two thousand hours of play on the steam account for the Gorilla house at London Zoo?

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Alright, that’s it. RPS is concluded for 2020. We wish you a merry Christmas, a happy Hogmanay, a Festivus for the rest of yous, and a general good’un for whatever else you might be doing after the RPS treehouse falls empty. We’ve left Horace a big bowl of Twiglets, Nate’s put a mince & onion pie out for Jason Statham, a series of traps involving Warhammer 40K figurines and coconut crabs should deter burglars, and a few posts are scheduled for the break. Hold tight. We’ll see you back on Monday, the 4th of January, 2021.

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