Season 6 of Warzone

has burst onto the scene, placing two new weapons in the hands of its players and, as usual, telling you nothing about them. But if you’ve searched far and wide for up-to-date, concise, reliable Warzone weapon stats, then breathe a big sigh of relief: they’re waiting for you just below. This Warzone weapon stats guide is fully up-to-date for Season 6 and features tables of data for each gun class, covering everything from damage profiles to handling stats, recoil patterns, damage dropoff values, and much more.

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Paunch

is tagged “Psychological Horror” and “Sexual Content” on Steam, and while this is wrong, it also couldn’t be more accurate. Two players take control of huge sumo wrestlers called Bob and fight to the death by flinging large rocks at each other. One can also opt to charge down the opposing player and lay them out with a solid hook to the chin. It is immediately arousing, yet disquieting. (more…)

Elite Dangerous

has always been about ships. Flying ’em, fighting ’em, crashing ’em into asteroids because you forgot flight assist was turned off. Why would you ever want to get out and walk? With the Odyssey expansion promising just that, Frontier’s latest dev diary has outlined the trading, scavenging, gunslinging and mingling you’ll be getting up to should you choose to leave the comfort of the cockpit.

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Yup. That seems about right. After evicting the Queen and erecting a colossal monolith in Melbourne, the unknowable architect behind Microsoft Flight Simulator‘s world gen now appears to have pulled at the very fabric of the Earth, ripping a massive hole out of a field in South America. At least, I very much hope this is a simple computing error – has anyone actually been outside to check lately?

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The Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth

is almost finished. No, actually, for real this time. Two years after it’s announcement, five years after Afterbirth+ and almost a decade after the game’s flash debut, Edmund McMillen reckons The Binding Of Isaac: Repentance is just shy of finished – closing out the roguelike with one final DLC that promises a sequel-scale faecal basement adventure.

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Given the subject, Assassin’s Creed Valhalla probably didn’t need to tell us why our merry band of Norsemen are off pillaging England. Who wouldn’t? But it’s gone and done so anyway with this week’s new story trailer. As it turns out, there’s a whole lotta brotherly love, royal squabbling and series-mandated Templar conspiracies rumbling underneath all that Anglo-bashing.

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Dearest reader, I bring you tragic and wonderful news. A wealthy long-lost relative has died (oh no!) and bequeathed you their estate (oh ho!) but with one unusual condition (o-oh?). Should you wish to claim their riches, titles, and mansion, you must fully accept into your heart and life one of two new ludicrous 1/4-scale video game statues. From now until your end, you shall live surrounded by them. Tell me, reader dear: will it be the giant Nier: Automata trio or the 51cm Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves?

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Having already fit the world on my hard drive, Microsoft Flight Simulator now begins the long and painful process of making it all look a bit nicer. The flight sim’s first World Update drops today, sprucing up Japan with photogrammetry-scanned cities, improved terrain mapping, custom-built airports and new landing challenges to break in the new runways. Tickets are free, so why not pop over to Tokyo for a spell?

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Mind earlier this month, when Elon Musk was going on about putting coins in your brain to save memories? Mind Scanners, the next game from Yes, Your Grace devs Brave At Night, sees that grim future through to the finish line – presenting a world of folks who’ve replaced everything from their eyes to their hearts with dodgy electronics.

And you? You’re the lucky sod who gets to fix ’em up when the warranty expires.

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It’s been a strange and murky road for monster-bashing diablike Torchlight 3. But even after the closure of series creators Runic games, a pivot away from the persistent online plans of Torchlight Frontiers, and a brief stint in Steam Early Access, Echtra’s loot-grabbing threequel is finally preparing to face the cold light of a full release this October 13th – and it’s brought some fancy fairies along for the ride.

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